Alcott House Puns

Hello, friends!

I continue pursuing the life of a gothic heroine by the only means available to me: reading and reviewing an entire Bingo Card full of gothic fantasies. Links to what I’ve read so far are at the bottom.

For my New to You (HM: Unknown) square, I chose Lord of the Last Heartbeat by May Peterson. This square was really hard for me. I tend to spend a lot of time ruminating on book purchases before I pull the trigger. I’ll read dozens of reviews, interviews, and any relevant articles the author may have written. In order to meet hard mode criteria, I basically scrolled through the Also Bought sections of other gothics I liked. Lord of the Last Heartbeat's summary had the right vibes, so I did a CRTL+F for “gothic” on the review page to confirm. The word came up a lot, so I slammed that buy button before I could think about it any more. Super scholarly approach, I know.

The book’s summary ends with a joyful emphasis on the Carina Press Promise, IE, this book is going to have a Happily Ever After (or Happy For Now). I mentioned in my last post that gothic romance is like a chocolate box for the soul. After getting spiritually brutalized by White is for Witching and Affinity, I so needed a LGBTQ+ pairing that didn’t end in tragedy. Lord of the Last Heartbeat delivered on that front while still putting the couple through a heck of a wringer first.

OTHER BINGO SQUARES:

• First Person POV (HM) - Alternates POV between Mio and Rhodry
• Mystery Plot (HM)
• Genre Mashup (HM) gothic/fantasy/romance
• Trans or NB MC (HM) - Mio is what I interpreted to be intersex, and has a unique perspective about his gender identity that is explored and affirmed with Rhodry, the other half of the couple. It feels worth noting this book was also written by a trans woman.
• Debut Author (Normal)

SUMMARY: Stop me. Please.

Three words scrawled in bloodred wine. A note furtively passed into the hand of a handsome stranger. Only death can free Mio from his mother’s political schemes. He’s put his trust in the enigmatic Rhodry—an immortal moon soul with the power of the bear spirit—to put an end to it all.

*But Rhodry cannot bring himself to kill Mio, whose spellbinding voice has the power to expose secrets from the darkest recesses of the heart and mind. Nor can he deny his attraction to the fair young sorcerer. So he spirits Mio away to his home, the only place he can keep him safe—if the curse that besieges the estate doesn

1 Pride and Prejudice- Jane Austen

2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien

3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling

5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

6 The Bible -

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell

9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

11 Little Women - Louisa May Alcott

12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

14 Complete Works of Shakespeare

15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulkes

18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger

19 The Time Traveler's Wife-Audrey Niffenegger

20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens

24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

25 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis

34 Emma - Jane Austen

35 Persuasion - Jane Austen

36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis

37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell

42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving

45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood

49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding

50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel

52 Dune - Frank Herbert

53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime - Mark Haddon

60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History - Donna Tart

64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

66 On Th

Phil

Sudden Lee

Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.

If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.

Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???

Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.

Thank you,

A Dad.

So far nobody has given me a straight answer

I am currently in the hospital. I had a back operation yesterday. The surgical nurse came in my room and started asking questions about my back. She asked me if I had any falls during the last year. I responded just one. It was after summer.

She laughed and said in 20 years of doing this she never was told that joke.

Indian places are naan profit, Vietnamese places are pho profit.

..... Will get a reward.

Because they work on many levels

The Bushes

Well, toucan play at that game.

Me : For starters, I bring a lot to the table

Windows

Argon does not react.

Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.

They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.

I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.

She said apple-lutely

This happened a few years ago when my son was 6ish. When my kids hurt themselves and it doesn’t look serious I always do the “we might have to amputate that bruised hand” shtick with them. I’ve done it enough that they now roll their eyes.

So, my son got hit lightly in the face with a rubber ball. It wasn’t a hard hit and I could tell he was more upset by the shock of it rather than the pain. So I say “looks like we will have to amputate your nose.” To which he replies “then how will I smell?” And I say “terrible!”

It was my greatest dad joke ever. I felt like I could retire after that.

'Eye-do'

This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.

The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!

Cred once again my sis wants credit lol

Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.

I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.

When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."

From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"

Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.

Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!

I heard parents named their children lance a lot.

First post please don't kill me

Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!

To get to the... Bottom...

(as told by my 5yo son, I'm so proud)

Since 2015, I've been doing this challenge with myself to expand my reading comfort-zone - for each movie that is nominated for the "best adapted screenplay" award, read the book. (Only applying to those that are based on books and not plays or previous movies.) It's led me to read some amazing books I probably wouldn't have picked up otherwise! Here are all the books from over the years, along with my top recommendations. (Top recommendations don't reflect the best-written books, just the ones I enjoyed reading the most!)

2015

• The Big Short
• Brooklyn
• Carol/The Price of Salt
• The Martian
• Room

Top read - The Martian (Andy Weir) Wilderness survival story meets near-future science fiction - I almost feel silly writing a recommendation for this one because it got so much hype already. If you are at all into sci-fi, NASA/Space-X news, or just building complicated contraptions by hand, you need to read this immediately.

Runner up - Room (Emma Donoghue) A book from the perspective of a child raised captive in a single room. So heartbreaking, but so well executed.

2016

• Arrival/Story of your Life
• Hidden Figures
• Lion/A Long Way Home

Top read - A Long Way Home (Saroo Brierley) The story of a little boy in India who became separated from his family. This book is split into three distinct parts in my mind, and each of them is gripping and compelling in completely different ways. The first third reads like an action thriller - except the protagonist was five years old at the time. I don't think I could navigate his situation as well as an adult! The second two-thirds calm down significantly, but I found them just as interesting.

Runner up - Story of your Life (Ted Chiang) I can't say too much about this without giving it away, so let's leave it at the premise - aliens land on Earth, and a linguist learns their language.

2017

• Call me by your Name
• The Disaster Artist
• Molly's game
• Mudbound

Top read - The Disaster Artist (Tom Bissell) A look behind the scenes of the infamously bad movie "The Room," (not to be confused with Room) by the star's second-in-command. If you saw the movie adaptation, know that they only scratched the surface. Every page of the book had a surprising, funny, or just bizarre detail that kept me glued to it. Plus it offers a look into what many consider to be unknowable - Tommy Wiseau's past.

Runner up - Molly's Game (Molly Bloom) What a good year for memoirs! In this one, a woman star

Japan.

I’d have $8.40