I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
NOTE: This post does not condone the war crimes commited during World War 2 nor supports any political ideology. It is merely an idea to enhance the mod's country replayability. No political propaganda is meant to be spread with this suggestion, thank you for understanding.
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This might be a bit of an oddshot at Red Flood, but I would like to share it anyway. I do like to play Hearts of Iron IV mods in a way that mirrors our original history rather than to screw a country up and then to put the whole world into misery. So I have thought if Germany could have a non-puppeted Accelerationist path without Austria/France puppeting it. And considering options that came out on my mind, I want you to present my suggestion on this. Albert Speer, seemingly who was an architect in real life and Hitler's close friend, would be that choice of mine.
LORE: In 1938, during a Hamburg dock strike when Joseph Goebbels was in the lead of Socialist Germany, a group of Rote Wehrmacht officers with general Günther (von) Kluge would find dissatisfaction with their new 'Volksführer' and orchestrated a coup against the government. Supported by various shadow cliques spearheaded by DAP (Deutsche Akzelerationismus Partei) and the army, Goebbels found himself surrounded in Berlin and rather shot himself (his six children were luckily saved by Manstein's 32. Infanterie-Division before Red Guard could poison them on Volksführer's orders), surrendering the socialist country into hands of DAP. Though there were certain right-wing authoritarian and conservative parties that rivaled Accelerationists, the Wehrmacht decided to let DAP with Albert Speer to take the lead.
Though Speer was at first unwilling to take the mantle of head of new German state, mainly because there were still strong socialist sentiments through the whole country and he did not intend to be shot at the first day of work. That was when Günther von Kluge brought two promising, of course secret DAP members to help him out - Heinrich Himmler and Hermann von Göring. Though it was sure they were lusting for power and high positions in the government, it was clear that if they went all against each other right now, not only they would invite the Socialists to grasp their hard-earned victory, but also Intermarium and France would take their shot in poaching onto the corpse that was the German State. So these three - Speer, Himmler and Göring - agreed to form a provisionary Triumvirate to lead Germany out of this mes
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They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
And boy are my arms legs.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
And now I’m cannelloni
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
I won't be doing that today!
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
[Removed]
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
And then shook his arm really fast.
(True story, please groan with me.)
You take away their little brooms
