Admittedly stolen from r/Pokemon
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︎ Apr 07 2020
Admittedly, being in this sub makes me pretty uncomfortable. Maybe Iβm just out of my depth.
https://imgur.com/gallery/yr8skve
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︎ May 04 2019
I admit itβs a repost, but this pun is just a sin... Please let me know if you get it!!!
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︎ Feb 12 2021
A man was admitted to the hospital for horses in him
Heβs in stable condition
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︎ Feb 17 2021
My friend refused to admit that he couldn't catch any African fish.
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︎ Feb 24 2021
I must admit, I joined this subreddit despite not being a dad.
Iβm a faux pa.
Edit: This took off a lot better than I expected.
I feel like a father figure now.
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︎ Jul 09 2020
I must admit that I married your mum for her looks...
But not the oneβs sheβs been giving me lately
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︎ Dec 15 2020
I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry.
He has selfie steam issues.
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︎ Jan 23 2021
Shark
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︎ Feb 23 2021
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
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︎ Nov 25 2020
I might be dating myself by admitting this...
but since the 80s, I've only gone to the movies alone.
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︎ Nov 23 2020
I quizzed my daughter, "If thereβs a bee in my hand, whatβs in my eye?" Reluctantly, she admitted, "I have no idea. What?" I chuckled...
"Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder!"
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︎ Jul 23 2020
"Okay, I did learn one interesting thing," Gabe admitted.
He was finally doing the reading for his history class. "Did you know that Bin Laden was planning to blow up monuments in other American cities?"
"I bet St. Louis was next on his list," I nodded.
"How'd you know that, Dad?" he asked in surprise.
"Well, he was our arch-enemy."
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︎ Nov 21 2020
I must admit my wife's cooking has really improved....
That was the best slice of soup I've ever had.
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︎ Oct 27 2020
I have an addiction to reading pop-up books, so I went to the library the other day to pick up some proper grown up books to look at. I have to admit there was some good stuff there, ...
... but unfortunately nothing that jumped out at me.
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︎ Oct 24 2020
William Shatner has discontinued his line of ladies lingerie.
Apparently Shatner panties was a poor choice of name.
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︎ Oct 13 2020
When Biden pressed Trump about his Chinese bank account, Trump admitted...
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︎ Oct 21 2020
If they launched a lot of cattle into orbit.
If they launched a lot of cattle into orbit.
It would be the herd shot βround the world.
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︎ Jan 27 2021
Conserservatives don't like to admit this but
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︎ Aug 30 2020
One time in my anatomy class, we dissected a sheep brain and I have to admit, I felt a bit sheepish about it.
Sorry, that was just a ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-d joke.
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︎ Sep 15 2020
Can anyone reccomend me a good way of cleaning windshield from ice?
I used my discount card but I only got 20% off!
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︎ Feb 22 2021
2020 canβt end
Because weβd be admitting 2021.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
The school made the use of "bullet points" illegal because it incited violence in the classroom, and I must admit I couldn't have cared less. That's all changed now, though.
The bus driver isn't allowed to drive my kids anymore because we live on a dead end street.
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︎ Aug 16 2020
It takes a big man to admit when he's wrong...
But it takes an even bigger man to give a giraffe a haircut.
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︎ Aug 02 2020
I'm absolutely terrible about leaving the toilet seat up, I admit.
But I probably shouldn't have married a blind woman and like to laugh so much.
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︎ Aug 22 2020
My mom told me the first step towards recovery is admitting your fault
So I asked if thatβs why people are admitted to the hospital
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︎ Aug 07 2020
When I tried to admit new evidence to the trial, the judge threw a Granny Smith at me...
I then remembered it's an apple-late court.
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︎ Jul 24 2020
What is Goofy's favorite novel?
The Adventures of Hyuck-leberry Finn
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︎ Jan 07 2021
Ok, I admit it. Iβm an unemployed leather worker.
Iβve got nothing to hide
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︎ May 11 2020
Gotta admit, this one got me.
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︎ Nov 09 2019
Horse is admitted in a hospital
Horse: enters a doctor's clinic
clears throat
Doctor: You have ho(a)rseness
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︎ Jun 05 2020
5/4 people will admit
That they are bad at fractions
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︎ May 26 2020
Five out of four people admit they're bad with
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︎ Jun 15 2020
I need a pun about chips for a Christmas gift
So my brother is super hard to buy for because my mom buys him EVERYTHING, literally. This kid has every toy, game console, video game, movie, funko pop, t-shirt, etc to ever exist.
My sister and I decided to buy him chips for Christmas. I got jalapeno cheddar cheetos, a few snack bags of spicy chips, and a can of pringles. I'm going to wrap them individually and put them in a stocking.
I would like to add a card with a pun or joke about chips to at least make this (admittedly low effort) gift funny.
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︎ Dec 22 2020
Whatβs red and bad for your teeth?
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︎ Nov 07 2020
It's tough to admit that I'm using too much weight on my bench press.
I'm having a hard time getting this off my chest.
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︎ May 06 2020
My wife wants to go vegan
I feel like my marriage is at steak
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︎ Nov 26 2020
The ghost in my house is always honest when admitting to making a mess
You could say they are very transparent.
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︎ May 05 2020
I was excited to join the Autopsy Club
Wednesdayβs are Open Mike Night.
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︎ Oct 03 2020
I admit I was wrong about how good my chiropractor is.
π︎ 7k
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︎ Mar 17 2018
We CANNOT let this year end.
Cos then we will be admitting 2021.
But then again, we can't just skip 2021. Cos the next year is 2022.
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︎ Dec 31 2020
After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.
But she still won't admit she framed me.
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︎ Aug 02 2020
My wife was fighting me about doing our kitchen in granite or laminate. She finally told me that we just canβt afford granite right now.
I have to admit... it was a pretty good counter argument.
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︎ Dec 13 2020
I suspect my maid is stealing money from my drawer, but she wonβt admit to it.
I just want her to come clean.
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︎ Jan 20 2020
It takes a big man to admit his mistakes
But it takes an even bigger man to give a giraffe a haircut.
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︎ Feb 15 2020
I admit I was wrong about how good my chiropractor is.
π︎ 50
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︎ Dec 08 2019
OK. I admit it. Iβm an unemployed leather worker.
Iβve got nothing to hide.
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︎ Dec 18 2019
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