I can't abide lending money, just the sight of an IOU note makes me furious.

I have Irritable Vowel Syndrome.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MafiaCub
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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The Dude abides.
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
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I can't abide by not having toast

I'm lack-toast intolerant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kindulas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2016
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What do you call a law abiding piece of chicken?

Legal Tender

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lemontenderoni
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
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If good looks were a crime.....

I'd still be a law abiding citizen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elster000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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What would you call a chicken who crosses the road while abiding by road laws

Legal tender

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StickmanSham
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2016
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I got my friends whilst watching "Law Abiding Citizen"

So we were watching Law Abiding Citizen. At some point the main character is stuck in an isolation cell. For some odd reason he is using a phone and can actually call people. A friend asks how this is possible. My response:

He's got cell reception.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jwsmelt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2016
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I turned an English paper into one giant pun.

A Call to Arms A Plead to the Limbless

The Armless are a stump among society and could easily achieve more. It’s bothersome that somebody with great potential could allow themselves to lose grip of what they aspire for. The radius of support and development that surrounds these people is astounding. Yet they bite the hand that feeds and throw away opportunities. With each passing day they are crippled by the errors in their ways. Not only are they not properly handling the situation, they are doing a disservice to society. Most will say to refrain from pointing fingers, but it is pertinent that we show them their faults.
All aside we should most certainly not try to elbow my way into their lives. However, if they were to branch off into their own progressive groups it would be most beneficial. And severance is a good thing between them and the public. This doesn't mean a complete amputation of them from society. Perhaps selective assistance will help these people find a well fitted sleeve within their communities. This process is difficult and lending a helping hand can make the difference. On the other hand, we have those who don’t try to succeed. Their negligence is worthy of more than a mere slap on the wrist. When somebody refuses to apply themselves, they are holding back progress. By giving themselves mental limitation they are creating a prosthetic disability they must abide by. The majority of working to achieve goals is believing you can reach out and grab them. But, somebody who gives up is cutting themselves short of success Seeing somebody give up is the furthest thing from being humerus. Urging these people is a necessity, otherwise they will never try their hardest, encourage them to use some elbow grease and put forth full effort. Any small contribution is better than being a detriment, community service, obtaining greater education, enlisting in the armed forces, these all benefit society. Drastic changes of this scale are sure to cause discontent, grab a tissue if need be, but never give up. For all those that are currently wasting away without contribution, it's time to limb’er up and take charge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chewy_64
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2015
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