The Longest Book Title Ever (Part 1)

Mocking me, eh? want to see how this book goes in your face? here is the title " The historical development of the Heart i.e. from its formation from Annelida: Clam worm, Seamouse, Lugworm, Megascolex, Tubifex, Pheretima, Freshwater leech, marine leech, land leech. Arthropoda: Ladybird, Krill, Rock Barnacle, Root-headed Barnacle, Copepod, Silverfish, Cairns birdwing, Silver - spotted skipper, Scutigera, Cray fish, Large white, Andonis blue, Camberwell beauty, Tiger swallowtail, Regent skipper, Black – veined white, Green – underside blue, Blue Morpho, Apollo, Guava skipper, Cleopatra, Large copper, Millipede, Orb spider, Black widow spider, Giant crab spider, Wolf spider, Bird – eating spider, Tenebrionid beetle, Green Tiger beetle, African goliath beetle, Scolopendra, Diving beetle, African ground beetle, New guinea weevil, Barnacle, Lobster, Shrimp, Woodlice, Mite, Prawn, Housefly, Butterfly, Monarch butterfly, Peacock butterfly, Honey bee, Fairy shrimp, Horsehoe crab, Tick, Bluebootle, Froghopper, Yellow crazy ant, Water flea, Sea spider, Fiddler crab, Shiny spider crab, Hermit crab, Sail swallowtail, Red admiral, Morpho butterfly, Desert locust, Stephens island weta, Speckled bush cricket, Mole cricket, Dung – beetle, Euthalia ynipardus, Small blues, Termite, Hornet, Mosquito, Garden spider, Tarantula, Desert hairy scorpion, Emperor dragon – fly, Moth, Centipede, Wood ant, Stag beetle, Indian red admiral, Blue admiral, Harvestman, Hoverfly, Shield bug, Assassin bug, Cicada, Coreid bug, Rose aphid, Water – boatman, Wasp, June bug, Large tortoiseshell, Frog beetle, Mexican red – legged tarantula, Paintedlady, Sydney funnelweb spider, Small tortoiseshell, Mountain bumble bee, Trapdoor spider, Jumping spider, Daddy longlegs spider, Orchind bee, Asian carpenter bee, Parasitic bee, House spider, Giant longhorn beetle, Flea, Bedbug Beetle, Cockroach, Scorpion, Spider, Ant, Gnats, Grasshopper, Silver fish, Crab, Great green bush cricket, Elephant hawk – moth. Mollusca: Neomenia, Chaetoderma, Chiton, Lepidopleurus, Apple snail, Sea hare, Sea lemon, Dentalium, Freshwater mussel, Marine mussel, Pearl oyster, Cuttlefish, Giant squid, Chambered fish, Devilfish. Fishes or Pisces: African glass catfish, African lungfish, Aholehole, Airbreathing catfish, Alaska blackfish, Albacore, Alewife, Alfonsino, Algae eater, Alligatorfish, Alligator gar, Amberjack - Seriola dumerili, American sole, Amur pike, Anchovy, Anemonefish, Angelfish, Angler, Angler catfish, Anglerfish, A

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slashtrap
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2021
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SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anywhereiroa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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Just because it's a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CzarcasmRules
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leckzsluthor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2022
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French fries weren’t cooked in France.

They were cooked in Greece.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frexyincdude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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You've been hit by
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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Petition to ban rants from this sub

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drak0ni
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2022
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My 4 year oldest favourit joke, which he very proudly memorized and told all his teachers.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smoffatt34920
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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I'm sick of you guys posting dumb wordplay in here for awards and upvotes.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diggitygiggitycee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies πŸ˜‚

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vegetable-Acadia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PsychedeIic_Sheep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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My wife left me because I couldn’t stop doing impressions of pasta

And now I’m cannelloni

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluestratmatt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eoussama
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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Steve JOBS would have made a better President than Donald Trump

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ok-Ingenuity4838
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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I just flew in from Chernobyl

And boy are my arms legs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JhopkinsWA
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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So 2 trees got arrested in the town I live...

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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I was almost upset that my coffee tasted like dirt today

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scarf_spheal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2022
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How eggs-traordinary
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rix27_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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No gains
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ridi86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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What is a a bisexual person doing when they’re not dating anybody?

They’re on standbi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toby-the-Cactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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A queen size statement.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flight-less
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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My ten-year-old daughter came up with this at dinner tonight: What do you get if put a copy of Macbeth on top of a dictionary?

A play on words.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ah1887
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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My son, Luke, loves how I named our kids after Star Wars characters...

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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Geddit? No? Only me?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampy311
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2021
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I wanna hear your best airplane puns.

Pilot on me!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paulie_Felice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2022
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E or ß?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amazekam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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Which actor drives the least?

Christopher Walken

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TR1771N
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing, he was gladiator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rj104
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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Pun intended.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sharmaji1301
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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No spoilers
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onfour
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2022
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Great cropping skills
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elisioth4739
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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Should we create an English word for the 'day after tomorrow'?

Or would that be too forward thinking?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afunkysquirrel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2022
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These aren't dad jokes...

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lance986
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2021
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Covid problems
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theincrediblebou
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Spi__
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fast_Echidna_8520
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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What did 0 say to 8 ?

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/designjeevan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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I had a vasectomy because I didn’t want any kids.

When I got home, they were still there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/demotrek
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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I dislike karma whores who make posts that imply it's their cake day, simply for upvotes.

I won't be doing that today!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djcarves
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2021
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It is really unfortunate that Islam, Christianity, and Judaism have been fighting each other for centuries.

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Utkarsh_Anand2004
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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For Gotham
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreeHugsXD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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The Ancient Romans II
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2021
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I did it, I finally did it. After 4 years and 92 days I went from being a father, to a dad.

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sk2ec
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2022
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It this sub dead?

There hasn't been a post all year!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTreelo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2022
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I'd like to dedicate this joke to my wisdom teeth.

[Removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThoughtPumP
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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Where do you find a cow with no legs?

Where ever you left it πŸ€·β€β™€οΈπŸ€­

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kitkatty0309
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2022
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How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in your frying pan?

You take away their little brooms

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majorpain2006
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2022
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The Longest Book Title Is 26021 Letters and 3777 Words Long

to save the mods time here is the source: Guinness World Records

According to Guinness the book is called: (and yes i did copy and paste the entire title)

'The historical development of the Heart i.e. from its formation from Annelida: Clam worm, Seamouse, Lugworm, Megascolex, Tubifex, Pheretima, Freshwater leech, marine leech, land leech. Arthropoda: Ladybird, Krill, Rock Barnacle, Root-headed Barnacle, Copepod, Silverfish, Cairns birdwing, Silver - spotted skipper, Scutigera, Cray fish, Large white, Andonis blue, Camberwell beauty, Tiger swallowtail, Regent skipper, Black – veined white, Green – underside blue, Blue Morpho, Apollo, Guava skipper, Cleopatra, Large copper, Millipede, Orb spider, Black widow spider, Giant crab spider, Wolf spider, Bird – eating spider, Tenebrionid beetle, Green Tiger beetle, African goliath beetle, Scolopendra, Diving beetle, African ground beetle, New guinea weevil, Barnacle, Lobster, Shrimp, Woodlice, Mite, Prawn, Housefly, Butterfly, Monarch butterfly, Peacock butterfly, Honey bee, Fairy shrimp, Horsehoe crab, Tick, Bluebootle, Froghopper, Yellow crazy ant, Water flea, Sea spider, Fiddler crab, Shiny spider crab, Hermit crab, Sail swallowtail, Red admiral, Morpho butterfly, Desert locust, Stephens island weta, Speckled bush cricket, Mole cricket, Dung – beetle, Euthalia ynipardus, Small blues, Termite, Hornet, Mosquito, Garden spider, Tarantula, Desert hairy scorpion, Emperor dragon – fly, Moth, Centipede, Wood ant, Stag beetle, Indian red admiral, Blue admiral, Harvestman, Hoverfly, Shield bug, Assassin bug, Cicada, Coreid bug, Rose aphid, Water – boatman, Wasp, June bug, Large tortoiseshell, Frog beetle, Mexican red – legged tarantula, Paintedlady, Sydney funnelweb spider, Small tortoiseshell, Mountain bumble bee, Trapdoor spider, Jumping spider, Daddy longlegs spider, Orchind bee, Asian carpenter bee, Parasitic bee, House spider, Giant longhorn beetle, Flea, Bedbug Beetle, Cockroach, Scorpion, Spider, Ant, Gnats, Grasshopper, Silver fish, Crab, Great green bush cricket, Elephant hawk – moth. Mollusca: Neomenia, Chaetoderma, Chiton, Lepidopleurus, Apple snail, Sea hare, Sea lemon, Dentalium, Freshwater mussel, Marine mussel, Pearl oyster, Cuttlefish, Giant squid, Chambered fish, Devilfish. Fishes or Pisces: African glass catfish, African lungfish, Aholeh

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BooChickens
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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What is the scariest tree?

BamBOO!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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