Working titles for Mark Twain's biography

Somebody please write Mark Twain's biography and please title it either "Making a Mark" or "Unraveling Twain" I don't care which.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeVoro_1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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Which insect beats the ant for the title of the hardest working?

Flies. They’re always on duty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheweduproach
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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Previous working title was: 15 Minutes of Frame i.reddituploads.com/5464d…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mairiphinc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2017
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Figure out the joke yourself
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Just-Be-Chill
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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Buhdum tiss imgur.com/o0FWnbr
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πŸ‘€︎ u/quinns21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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Heard the 10th Fast and The Furious movie is gonna be about car safety

Working title is called Fast 10: Your Seatbelt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SamisNeat69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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Soon just got me without this one: "Hey Dad, want to hear a construction joke?"

Give me a second I'm still working on it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wheezy360
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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What kind of over uses sunlight and lenses?

A convexion oven.

Edit: This works a lot better if you spell "oven" correctly in the title...

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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Not a huge fan, to be honest.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fiveminded
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2017
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Bret Michaels is releasing a new album of Zeppelin covers...

...working title is "Led Poisoning"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RSS24
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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This Joke Lacks Bite

There are rumors of yet another Bill and Ted Sequel following the one in production. Reportedly, it will feature an older, toothless Keanu Reeves who is fighting with his insurance company.

Yeah, the working title: Billin' Ted for Bogus Dentures.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/P33J
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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Girlfriend couldn't quite work out why I kept spinning in front of the oven

https://imgur.com/gallery/KLwqu

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FishcakeWoodSpy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2017
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So my friend's dad is a coroner...

The other day we were watching a baseball game he got called in to work. He stood up and said "well, I've got to go. Some people are just dying to see me."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/touchethedouche
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2014
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We were at a German motel...

... my mom was getting ready to take a shower and asked my dad to call reception and ask for a hair dryer. He discreetly took his cell, went into the other room and called our room. My mom answered the phone and in his best German accent said: "Zis is reception Herr Draier speaking."

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2013
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I'm working on a new movie script.

The plot revolves around an MD whose patients all have unusual symptoms and need to be seen by a specialist.

Working title: REFER MADNESS

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grecianformula69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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[MOD POST] Hunting for an additional moderator. Read and apply within.

EDIT: I am now closing applications and will make a decision in the next day or so. Thank you to everybody who applied - the general enthusiasm and support is wonderful to see.

( as this is a self post, I receive no karma - however I would appreciate it if you upvoted purely for visibility <3 )

Hey everybody,

The /r/dadjokes community is now over 85,000 subscribers strong. That's pretty great. Pretty super great.

Thus far, over the entire existence of this sub, I have been the only mod. Quietly watching, taking your feedback, removing a post here, approving another there - doing my best not to interfere too much. I'm going to be honest, it hasn't been that hard.

You lot are generally a pretty nice bunch, give or take a few of the more vocal lunatics. There isn't usually a lot of work to be done, or issues that need resolving.

That said, I'm not awake all the time. I can't lurk on Reddit all the time. I don't have all-seeing eyes.

So it's about time I gave another pair of eyes moderator status and entrusted those eyes with a duty of care.

Let's get down to the chase; here's what I'm looking for in an additional mod:

  • You live in a very different timezone to Syd, AU - GMT+10
  • You have a good sense of humour
  • You're not in this purely to grow your 'net rep
  • You're interested in being fair, and maintaining fairness
  • You maintain civility in yourself and your responses at all times
  • You have a bit of time every day to go through reports, spam, and post comments
  • You understand that your moderatorship will initially be a trial, and can be revoked at any time if you aren't being magical and rad
  • Some general CSS/subreddit formatting knowledge wouldn't go astray, but is not required

Here's what I am not looking for:

  • Strong, cemented opinions about what constitutes a dad joke and what doesn't - everybody's dad and humour is different
  • An overzealous post remover - I am not looking for an enforcer, the title moderator implies moderation
  • A(nother) dictator - it is my preference that this subreddit be gently guided, and not forcibly ruled, we let the community find itself and we listen to what they say

If you wish to apply for the title and duty of being a moderator to /r/dadjokes, simply state your case (why you should be selected, what benefits or experience you bring, etc) in a comment reply to this thread. I will then get in touch with the most worthy seeming applicants. Upvotes and downvites will not be taken int

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tali3sin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2013
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I need a punny movie title!

I've been working on a screenplay for a movie (nothing big, nothing even medium-sized, I'm pretty much doing it for fun with one of my friends) and we can't think of a clever movie title. The TL;DR version is it's about a bartender who accidentally steals a undercover cops ID just by coincidence. It's not a comedy (asides from a but of dry humor) so nothing too dadjokey, no offense to r/dadjokes, but just a good clever pun would be great. If you have any ideas please let me know! Thanks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iPundemic
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2017
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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[Request] I need some help thinking of a punny title for a table-top game!

Hey there /r/Puns! I'm working on a pop-culture table-top card game similar to Story Wars for me and my friends, and am trying to think of a punny name for the title! The current name is Crossover Mania, but we can all agree that that's terrible, so please help me out!

The game will be mostly battles/challenges between 2 characters, and the game will include characters, items, locations from comics, movies, anime, cartoons, games, etc.

I'm also going to be using some puns for certain cards' flavor texts, such as for Spider-Man: Fun Fact: He has a bit of a web addiction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nitro-Nito
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2015
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Cock and sperm joke for kids

(This joke just deserved a more catchy title, sorry for the mess.)

Every Tuesday growing up, we had German sausages and sauerkraut for dinner - my dad's favorite. Since I can remember, my dad has told this joke and never misses a chance telling it till this day:

"You know kids, it's not the sausage that makes you fat, it's the sauce!"

Both my younger sister and l looked at eachother, rolled our eyes and thought - why is he telling this joke every single time.. it doesnt make sense! There is no sauce here! Only fried sausages, sauerkraut and potatoes. In fact, where is the goddamn sauce, we could need it. This dish is dry as shit! My poor mom shrugged her shoulders, seemingly just as confused.

When i was about 11-12, I caught up on my dad's hinting and eye contact after the punch line.. he wanted me to get the joke so bad at this point lol. I had a moment, as they say. Oh... OOHH. BOOM. Omg the "SAUCE"!! From the sausage.. makes some people fat.. as in pregnant.. Mind. Blown.

My sister, around 8 at that time, had a few hundred more sausage dinners to "ketchup" ;) I'm not doing so bad myself, 'ey?

Edit: For the slow people out there, this joke is about sausage=penis, sauce=sperm and getting fat=pregnant. Did you have your moment too?? Admittingly, the joke works better in my native language, but you get the idea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeathrowHappymeal
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2015
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Got dad joked at the bookstore where I work today

I work at a large retail bookstore, and my job is basically just to wander around and help people find what they're looking for. Yesterday I spotted an older gentleman looking lost, so I asked him if he needed help finding anything.

"Yeah, the new Dr. Seuss one, whatever it is."

So I led him to the kid's section where we have a whole display for What Pet Should I Get.

"This one's been really popular, as you can guess," I said as I grabbed one off the display for him. As I did so, a few of the books behind it toppled off the display and onto the ground.

"Yeah," he said, "I can see they're just flying off the shelves."

I laughed for a few minutes and he left with his book and the look of satisfaction that only comes from a top-tier dad joke.

Edit: Oops. Put 'today' in the title but it rly happened yesterday. Sorry! :x

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πŸ‘€︎ u/5lash3r
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2015
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