Breaking News: Archaeologists believe that they've uncovered a cache of pencils that belonged to William Shakespeare. A spokesperson for the dig said they're so badly chewed on the ends,
we can't tell if they're 2B or not 2B.
Little known fact: William Tell and his wife were really good bowlers.
Nobody knows for whom the Tells bowled.
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar.
Who is William DeFoe’s arch enemy?
William Shatner has discontinued his line of ladies lingerie.
Apparently Shatner panties was a poor choice of name.
Dr William Archibald Spooner, the creator of spoonerisms was well known to be a smart fella.
William Shatner, Star Trek’s Captain Kirk, is said to be extremely disappointed after the collapse of his recently launched women’s underwear business...
Apparently, nobody was interested in buying ‘Shatner Panties’.
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. They're very efficient, and not particularly funny.
Did you hear that Vanessa Williams got robbed the other day?
They need to stop Robin Williams
A monastery decided to liven up their old clothes by tie-dying them, but the fabric became stiff and uncomfortable. When the Abbott asked a sister to explain, she gave a simple reply:
It has recently been discovered that William Tell and his son belonged to a bowling league. But Swiss historians have not been able to determine the name of the league's sponsors.
We may never know for whom the Tells bowled.
What's your favorite Robin Williams movie?
Without a doubt, mine is Mrs. Fire.
William Otis showed his son his evolutionary invention.
He said, "Son, this is a ground breaking creation."
What do you call a depressed man with a robotic arm?
A priest was trying to liven up his church
So he invited a band to come in and play a few songs to get the church goers more excited to be there. On the bands first song the entire crowd of people turned around at the exact same time. A little boy asked his father "Daddy, what was that?" The boys dad responded "Well son, that was one direct shun."
I'm starting a business in airports selling bags with the faces of Sid James, Hattie Jacques, Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey and Joan Sims on them.
It'll be called "Carry On Baggage".
I sat next to an insurance salesmen at the Robbie Williams gig last night.
And through it all, he offered me protection...
Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.
Edit: Thanks for my first ever Gold! I have no idea what it does but it sure is shiny =]
A friend of mine always carries around a scale with him no matter where he goes. Anytime he meets a new person named William he throws them right on the scale. So one day I finally asked, "why do you keep doing this?" He replied.
"because where there's a Will there's a weigh."
SO was looking to liven up breakfast
Her: "I've just found a page with hundreds of omelette recipes!"
Me: "Well you'd better get cracking then."
Thank you one and all, first time I felt I had something worthy to submit here.
So my name is William
And my soccer coach in 7th grade asks me: Do you they call you Will or Bill?
Me: They call me both.
Coach: Okay, Both, nice to meet you.
I'm 42 years old, and that man's son still calls me "Both" to this day.
Did you hear William Shatner was starting his own underwear line?
But “Shatner Panties” was not a good business.
I’m terrible with directions but my friend William always knows where to go.
When there’s a Will, there’s a way.
William is nervous about his life prospects
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, “What’s your favourite planet?”
Her: It’s Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
My daughter said she needs a book by Shakespeare for a class assignment. "Which one?" I asked.
When does Serena Williams usually go to sleep?
My pal William is a hard worker.
In the winter, he plays pool for money. In the summer, Bill yards...
I just discovered William Shakespeare owned the first video game console.
A Midsummer Night's Dreamcast
I asked my dad his opinion on Roe vs. Wade
He said he'd prefer to float.
Wendy Williams' career must be playing Oregon Trail...
Because it's about to die from dissin' Terry.
I bought a pencil that was claimed to be owned by William Shakespeare, but the lettering’s all faded.
I’m not sure whether it’s 2B or not 2B.
I get really strong after shaving the wool off of my sheep, William.
It's my sheer Will power.
I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.
Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!
Did you know William Tell and his wife were bowlers?
Noone knows for whom the Tell's bowled.
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars, and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar.
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars and Venus Williams walk into a bar
I have a pencil that was owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
Someone own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now he can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
Without a doubt my favorite Robin Williams movie is...
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare.
But he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
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