You come to the end of the road. North of you is the red house, west is the green house, east is the blue house. Where is the white house?
Met a beautiful girl over Spring Break in Mexico, but she constantly talked about the end of the world.
I ended things with my communist girlfriend.
Why did the non-binary prospector head out West?
Because there was gold in them/their hills!
A lot of the jokes on this sub are just terrible, but at the end of the day...
I tried googling tips to stop procrastinating but I ended up reading about photography
I had to break up with this girl who just would not stop counting.
I wonder what she’s up to now.
Apparently, Kanye West has ended his Presidential campaign.
And just shortly after starting it too. But you know how the saying is: "Yeezy come Yeezy go".
A friend of mine is quite well known for sweeping girls off their feet.
He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.
Breaking News: Archaeologists believe that they've uncovered a cache of pencils that belonged to William Shakespeare. A spokesperson for the dig said they're so badly chewed on the ends,
we can't tell if they're 2B or not 2B.
saw a girl with a tattoo of a tree on her breast, seems like it would be painful...
A lot of conflicts in the Wild West could have been avoided....
....had the Cowboy architects just made their towns big enough for everyone.
How do you get a farm girl to like you?
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. There is no Time.”
A girl named Autumn tried to prank me.
What starts with W and ends with T?
You know, out West they're started to ban those big round bales of hay you see in that field over there..
.... The cows aren't getting three square meals a day.
(Also, to those who tell dad jokes at every opportunity, I really appreciate you. As a person who grew up without the joy of a pops embarrassing me with terrible jokes, I was always bewildered by the stereotype. Recently though, I've been taking a microeconomics course I was dreading having to take and my professor has "big econ dad" energy. There's a joke every few minutes in his lectures and they give me the energy to keep going. You are appreciated. Even if your kids, spouse, partner, friends, strangers groan at you, undoubtedly someone out there really appreciates your goofiness).
Why do people from West Russia take their time in the bathroom?
Because you don't wanna be Russian while European
What begins with the letter W and ends with the letter T
How do you get a country girl’s attention?
Today I learnt what Yoda was short for,
Because he's got little legs.
How do you know when you’ve contracted West Nile Virus?
When you start walking like an Egyptian.
I had a friend in the publishing industry who made calendars, but I had to end our friendship
He was always getting hung up on little things, and telling me that our days were numbered. I've turned the page.
I hear he's dating someone now though.
What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?
Do bad punsters end up in the jeerafter?
Two big girls walk into a bar
Two big girls walk into a bar
They order drinks, in a thick accent.
"You two ladies from Ireland?" asks the bartender.
Offended, one of them replies *"Wales!"*
"Oh I'm so sorry," says the bartender, "Are you two whales from Ireland?"
You know that it's always the boys raised by single moms that end up with Dad Bods.
They always wanted a father figure.
I just hooked up with a reclusive girl on Tinder...
My psychiatrist says I have an unhealthy obsession with revenge.
Went out last night and scored with this girl really easily
Guess she just wasn’t a keeper
I remember standing in solitude, at the end of the long landing overlooking the Pacific Ocean - this disembodied voice was urging me to jump, so I did...
I never could stand up to pier pressure.
I tried skipping rope. But I ended up being tied up.
That was knot my intention.
What do mice have on their rear ends?
During the French Revolution thousands of people met their end with the blade of the guillotine, including King Louis XVI
He should have quit while he was a head
Last Halloween a girl dressed as the grim reaper came to my door with messy hair and asked me politely to fix it.
That night, I had a brush with death.
My 8 year old sons joke today. What’s a girls favorite unit of measurement?
I met a girl on Reddit and it ended in Pokemon puns
A few days ago I met a really cool girl on Reddit and then this happened. I asked and she is ok with me sharing it.
Puns here: https://imgur.com/a/8BOsNgn
Forgive my spelling but it was like 6am
How to tell which end of a worm is the head?
You tickle it. The end that laughs is the head.
Credit: My 7y.o nephew
How do you make the number one disappear?
You add "g" and it's GONE
My dad always said, “ Find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them.”
Where does bad light end up?
I got rear-ended by a rental car today
If the end of the world happens, I want it to be hailing taxis.
I like to shit at 11:59pm and end at 12:05 am
I used to date a Welsh girl who had 32 D’s
It was a ridiculously long name
Why did the non-binary prospectors head west?
Because there was gold in them/their hills
Do you know how to get a farm girl to like you?
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