π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 18 2013
My friend keeps saying βcheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of waterβ
I know he means well.
(Since my last well-joke did well (pun intended) I thought this would be a nice follow-up)
π︎ 201
π
︎ Jun 09 2019
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle, and a well dressed man on a bicycle..?
π︎ 150
π
︎ Jan 25 2021
Well, after all this time, they finally came in! I guess Iβm a dad now!
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jan 26 2021
Why did the non-binary prospector head out West?
Because there was gold in them/their hills!
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
Why did the blind guy fall into the well?
Because he didn't see that well.
π︎ 185
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
Well, is it?
π︎ 525
π
︎ Dec 26 2020
Little Johnny has diarrhoea and asks his mom, "Hey mom, do you have Viagra?" The mom goes, "What? What on Earth do you need that for?" "Well, isn't that what you give dad when his shit doesn't get hard?"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 23 2021
Well then...
π︎ 102
π
︎ Dec 28 2020
A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly ...
... and as you can see, they were Wright
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Jan 18 2021
Lance is an uncommon name nowdays
But in mediaeval times people were called lance a lot
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
Today someone bought our department a box of donuts and some lotto tickets. The potential grand prize was $3,000, in which my boss exclaimed "Well that isn't enough to retire".
I corrected him by saying that is plenty of money to buy some new tires for your car.
The physical pain on his face was priceless.
π︎ 158
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
Well he wasnβt lying
π︎ 98
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
Lmao
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
I was on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies...
Is this a trick question?
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
I know why beer and frog legs go together so well!
π︎ 35
π
︎ Jan 25 2021
What do you call a well trained group of people wearing glasses
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jan 29 2021
I wish him well
π︎ 821
π
︎ Oct 05 2020
Well.. We made another trip around the sun.
But it's the earth's rotation that really makes my day.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
Keep cows well hydrated
Otherwise, they turn into real jerkies.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 14 2020
Well I mean I would be mad...
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Jun 10 2020
At the office barbecue, I grilled some rare steak for our boss, and he said, βI like it well done.β
I said, βThanks. That means a lot.β
π︎ 99
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
Our dog has been a little under the weather so we took him in for a checkup. The vet picked him up, studied him for a bit, sighed and said, "I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to put him down." Tears welling in my eyes I sputtered, "Why!? What's wrong with him?"
The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"
π︎ 87
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
I tried to invent an indestructible piece of paper. It didn't go well...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
Well I walked right into that one didn't I
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 29 2020
Someone said I wasnβt very smart because I never read anything. Well it so happens I was reading an article just the other day
It said Juicy.
Turns out it was an article of clothing.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 25 2021
A preacher with a lisp hired a sinner to paint his church. To save money, the sinner man added water into the paint can. It didnβt work well. The preacher told him:
Young man, you need to repaint and thin no more.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jan 10 2021
My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl
...I said I didn't even know he could play cricket.
Edit: Americans; replace 'cricket' with '10 Pin Bowling π³ '
Thank you for the awards
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
Eight days in and this year looks like it might be as bad as last year. Possibly even worse. If it does turn out worse, well, you know what they say...
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jan 09 2021
Did you think 2020βs done with you? Well youβre wrong!
Because next year is 2022
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
Why do Canadian geese go well with mashed potatoes?
Because they make nice gray-V's.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
Well, it's that time on New Year's Eve. I'll see you all...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
Kids want to know why I named my new guinea pig Moresby, well..
Because itβs papaβs new guinea
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
Did you know garbage men don't get any training?
They just pick things up as they go along.
π︎ 396
π
︎ Jan 29 2021
When you're driving but can't see that well...
Pretty much the first dad joke I've ever seen that requires a video punchline.
https://i.imgur.com/pfZya7P.gifv
Originally posted to /r/IdiotsInCars/ by /u/My_Memes_Will_Cure_U
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
π︎ 754
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle?
π︎ 175
π
︎ Dec 19 2020
Why did the half-blind man fall into a well?
He couldn't see that well.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
Why did the partially blind man fall into a well?
Because he could not see that well.
π︎ 36
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
Why did the farmer fall in the well?
Because he didnβt see that well.
π︎ 73
π
︎ Dec 25 2020
Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn't see that well!
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle, and a poorly-dressed man on a unicycle?
π︎ 41
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
Why did the old man fall in the well
He couldnβt see that well
π︎ 32
π
︎ Dec 19 2020
Why did the blind man fall in the well?
Because he couldnβt see that well
π︎ 48
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
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