Lord Welles seems like my kind of guy imgur.com/5tdquzG
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobbybarf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2013
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My friend keeps saying β€œcheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water”

I know he means well.

(Since my last well-joke did well (pun intended) I thought this would be a nice follow-up)

πŸ‘︎ 201
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle, and a well dressed man on a bicycle..?

Attire.

πŸ‘︎ 150
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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Well, after all this time, they finally came in! I guess I’m a dad now!
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elanstake
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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Why did the non-binary prospector head out West?

Because there was gold in them/their hills!

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cleverusername531
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the blind guy fall into the well?

Because he didn't see that well.

πŸ‘︎ 185
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMcRican
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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Well, is it?
πŸ‘︎ 525
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nakikibaka
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Little Johnny has diarrhoea and asks his mom, "Hey mom, do you have Viagra?" The mom goes, "What? What on Earth do you need that for?" "Well, isn't that what you give dad when his shit doesn't get hard?"
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M_Arslan_Tahir
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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Well then...
πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly ...

... and as you can see, they were Wright

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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Lance is an uncommon name nowdays

But in mediaeval times people were called lance a lot

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tadashi4
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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Today someone bought our department a box of donuts and some lotto tickets. The potential grand prize was $3,000, in which my boss exclaimed "Well that isn't enough to retire".

I corrected him by saying that is plenty of money to buy some new tires for your car.

The physical pain on his face was priceless.

πŸ‘︎ 158
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Megaman_90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Well he wasn’t lying
πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/natnat301
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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Lmao
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlothsRevenge622
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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I was on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies...

Is this a trick question?

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I know why beer and frog legs go together so well!

It's the HOPS!

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a well trained group of people wearing glasses

Spec Ops

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Its_me_thatguy361
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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I wish him well
πŸ‘︎ 821
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlothsRevenge622
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Well.. We made another trip around the sun.

But it's the earth's rotation that really makes my day.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jagee23
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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well said (via r/whitepeopletwitter) imgur.com/GspHtJX
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/verascity
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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Keep cows well hydrated

Otherwise, they turn into real jerkies.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wyllyam1111
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
The senior prank didn’t sit well with the faculty members today. reddit.com/gallery/kd9axw
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jalen_Hurts2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Well I mean I would be mad...
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxDr-Beckyxx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
At the office barbecue, I grilled some rare steak for our boss, and he said, β€œI like it well done.”

I said, β€œThanks. That means a lot.”

πŸ‘︎ 99
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Our dog has been a little under the weather so we took him in for a checkup. The vet picked him up, studied him for a bit, sighed and said, "I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to put him down." Tears welling in my eyes I sputtered, "Why!? What's wrong with him?"

The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to invent an indestructible piece of paper. It didn't go well...

It was tearable.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EastlyGod1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Well I walked right into that one didn't I
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollybomb57
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone said I wasn’t very smart because I never read anything. Well it so happens I was reading an article just the other day

It said Juicy.

Turns out it was an article of clothing.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Le_Gitzen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
A preacher with a lisp hired a sinner to paint his church. To save money, the sinner man added water into the paint can. It didn’t work well. The preacher told him:

Young man, you need to repaint and thin no more.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl

...I said I didn't even know he could play cricket.

Edit: Americans; replace 'cricket' with '10 Pin Bowling 🎳 '

Thank you for the awards

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Eight days in and this year looks like it might be as bad as last year. Possibly even worse. If it does turn out worse, well, you know what they say...

Hindsight is 2020!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you think 2020’s done with you? Well you’re wrong!

Because next year is 2022

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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Why do Canadian geese go well with mashed potatoes?

Because they make nice gray-V's.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/antirabbit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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Well, it's that time on New Year's Eve. I'll see you all...

tomorrow.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kellzone
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Kids want to know why I named my new guinea pig Moresby, well..

Because it’s papa’s new guinea

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coloredboyadvance
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know garbage men don't get any training?

They just pick things up as they go along.

πŸ‘︎ 396
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puddlejumpers
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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When you're driving but can't see that well...

Pretty much the first dad joke I've ever seen that requires a video punchline.

https://i.imgur.com/pfZya7P.gifv

Originally posted to /r/IdiotsInCars/ by /u/My_Memes_Will_Cure_U

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/guriboysf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?

Attire

πŸ‘︎ 754
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle?

A tire.

πŸ‘︎ 175
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πŸ‘€︎ u/winnt7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the half-blind man fall into a well?

He couldn't see that well.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Little_ivory_fox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the partially blind man fall into a well?

Because he could not see that well.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IDRambler
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the farmer fall in the well?

Because he didn’t see that well.

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Robin_Banks77
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the old man fall in the well?

Because he couldn't see that well!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheIndrajitKar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle, and a poorly-dressed man on a unicycle?

Attire

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the old man fall in the well

He couldn’t see that well

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_AngryFIFAPlayer_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the blind man fall in the well?

Because he couldn’t see that well

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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