Hi. Tired of new year jokes? But I want to tell you one
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︎ Dec 31 2022
Why does no one want to be one of Snow Whiteβs Dwarfs?
Cause 6 out of 7 arenβt happy
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︎ Nov 14 2022
What's the one thing you never want to tell your driver to do?
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︎ Nov 07 2022
One day, I want my wife to be a waitress.
So that way she will be the one who puts the bread on the table.
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︎ Nov 04 2022
My sister asked me if I want to get married one day.
I replied with "no, you're my sister."
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︎ Jun 20 2022
There's only one thing girls want. It starts with a P and ends in an S.
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︎ Nov 14 2021
I love melons so much I want to marry one.
Unfortunately, the law says we cantaloupe.
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︎ Jul 12 2022
The other day, I met a genie who granted me one wish. So, I told him: "I just want to be happy."
Now I'm living in a cottage with 6 dwarves and working in a mine.
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︎ Jan 27 2022
I had dinner at one of those cowboy restaurants. The waiter came over and asked, βDo ya wanna box for those leftovers?β I was with my wife. I couldnβt say no, and didnβt want to say yes, so I replied,
βNo, but Iβll wrestle you for them.β
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︎ Aug 22 2022
Socratic teachers literally only want one thing
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︎ May 09 2022
This one was my father's favorite joke before my brother and I were teens and starting joking or laughing about something more mature than we were. He'd say in a whisper "Do your want to hear something really dirty?"
After we'd shut up and started listening he'd say,
"Six white horses fell in the mud!"
I use that one on my son on occasion and I hear the same groan as I had at his age. You taught me well, Dad. I miss you!
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︎ May 22 2022
It's clever and cute and I want one
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︎ Aug 06 2021
my 7 year old daughter told me this one. Why didn't the apple want to date the banana?
Because she didn't find him appealing
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︎ Oct 18 2021
I want to open a cheese shop that specializes in one type of cheese.
There will also only be a 5 minute browsing period before being kicked out. It'll be called The Brie-f Stop.
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︎ Mar 25 2022
What one word really makes a woman open up and want to talk about everything on their mind?
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︎ Mar 21 2022
You want to read 2 short jokes and a long one?
Jokes. jokes jjjjjjjjjooooooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeesss
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︎ Jan 03 2022
Why didnβt two want to play with one
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︎ Apr 19 2022
Ok look, there have been a lot of meta posts in this sub recently and I don't want to further fan the flames but it's really important to me to say one more thing on the topic.
I never meta dad joke I didn't like.
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︎ Jan 16 2022
What's the one kind of flower you DON'T want to get on Valentine's Day?
Cauliflower!
(told by my nephew, so so proud of him!)
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︎ Feb 14 2022
The ladies confuse me. On one hand they want me to be courteous.
But they always frown when I hold the revolving door for them.
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︎ Feb 26 2022
I want the normal one too! (Op u/ItsSrikerOMG)
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︎ Nov 03 2019
I want one (original post from r/Badfunnytexts)
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︎ May 21 2019
Soon just got me without this one: "Hey Dad, want to hear a construction joke?"
Give me a second I'm still working on it.
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︎ Dec 23 2018
One store now allows its employees to say whatever they want to say to their customers.
Itβs called retailiation.
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︎ Oct 02 2021
I want to make a pun about boats but can't think of one.
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︎ Oct 11 2021
I want to be a father one day.
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︎ Sep 23 2021
There's one thing I want to say to those who don't make a dry bird on Thanksgiving
You're all master basters
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︎ Nov 25 2021
Never thought cannibalism is so yummy(Another one of the ones that I want to cross post but r/puns bans cross posts)
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︎ May 15 2021
on one hand, I want to make a good dad joke
But on the other hand, there's five fingers
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︎ Jun 12 2021
I saw a dudeβs truck that said Master Baitor on it one time now I donβt fish but I want that
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︎ Apr 14 2021
One day I want to open an Italian restaurant in New York for amnesiacs
It'll be called 'Spageddaboutit'
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︎ Jun 22 2021
Son: "Do you want the wooden one or the plastic one?"
Dad: *Getting into row boat* "either oar"
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︎ May 27 2020
As we drove past Ikea, my dad began one of his rants βWhy do people want Swedish furniture? The fancy closet in my bedroom was built by a good olβ fashioned local carpenter, none of this foreign import rubbish!β He was surprisingly vocal...
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︎ Apr 24 2021
I want to try one of those mushrooms they found on Mars.
I bet they're out of this world.
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︎ May 07 2021
At Disney World on a hot day, saw someone with one of those portable misting bottles attached to a fan for cooling off. I said, "I want a mister fan."
My wife, without missing a beat, says "Please, Mr. Fan is my father."
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︎ Mar 23 2021
I want to invest in one of those junk removal companies.
No matter what happens with the economy, their business always seems to be picking up.
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︎ Nov 11 2020
Sample guy at grocery store: You can take one if you want to.
Me: Can I take two if I want three?
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︎ Dec 24 2018
I really want to buy one those supermarket checkout dividers.
But the lady behind the till keeps putting it back
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︎ Sep 03 2020
One California Redditor Dad came up with a dad joke so shocking that Reddit doesnβt want you to see it.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
Do you want to know what one of the coolest gifts you could ever get someone is?
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︎ Dec 26 2019
This has been a crazy year. After everything that has happened though do you want to know the one thing that I canβt get over ?
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︎ Dec 03 2020
I love melons so much I want to marry one.
Unfortunately, the law says we cantaloupe.
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︎ May 18 2022
I love melons so much that I want to marry one.
Unfortunately, the law says we cantaloupe.
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︎ May 18 2022
I know you're tired of new year jokes but I want to tell you one
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︎ Jan 04 2016
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