Wales Puns

Bangor?

Well, yes I did actually.

iLand

.....and it wouldn't have happened if people there had done things more Caerphilly.

Don't be Rhossili Bae

Send four skin divers.

I chose Caerphilly.

He slowly looked up at me, smiled warmly and responded "No sir, I am the chip monk."

Caerphilly.

Two big girls walk into a bar

They order drinks, in a thick accent.

"You two ladies from Ireland?" asks the bartender.

Offended, one of them replies *"Wales!"*

"Oh I'm so sorry," says the bartender, "Are you two whales from Ireland?"

Wales.

The bartender asked are you ladies from Ireland? The girls smiled and said Wales. The bartender replied are you two whales from Ireland?

It's making headlines!!

I glanced over and noticed that they were quite attractive. A little on the larger side, but that never stopped me before. So, yogurt cup in hand, I boldly approached their table.

“Excuse me,” I said, “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation, and I noticed your lovely accents. Are you two ladies from Scotland by any chance?”

They immediately bristled at my question, obviously offended, and one of them snapped at me, “It’s Wales!”

“No offense intended,” I replied. “Please allow me to try again...are you two whales from Scotland?”

Start in England and drive West.

York, Jersey, Mexico, Brunswick, Hampshire, Guinea, South Wales...

Because they’re scared of Wales

They're afraid of Wales

He grew up in Wales.

He wanted to see Wales.

And two obese women walk in, talking in an interesting accent.

I was intrigued so I turned around and asked them, “Are you two ladies from Ireland?”

One of the women sneered at me, “Wales, you dolt!”

So I corrected myself, “Oh, are you two whales from Ireland?”

The prince of Wales

• Accounts Payable Administrator_______________Imelda Czechs

• Accounts Payable Clerk, Moscow Office__________Dasha Chekhov

• Air-Quality Monitor _________________________Carmine Dioxide

• Caffeine Addiction Counselor__________________Bruno Moore

• Chief Legal Counsel_________________________ Hugh Louis Dewey of Dewey, Cheetham & Howe

• Cliche Monitor_____________________________Saul Wellingood

• Clothing Designer__________________________Hugh Jass

• Credit Counselor___________________________Max Stout

• Director of Purchasing_______________________Lois Bidder

• Director of Pavlovian Research________________Isabelle Ringing

• Divorce Attorney___________________________Carmine Nottyors

• Dog Trainer_______________________________Don Chase Katz

• Ebay Specialist____________________________Selma Junkoff

• Head of Security___________________________Barb Dwyer

• Global Economics Forecaster_________________Helena Handbasket

• Marine Biologist___________________________Frieda Wales

• Father-in-Law Liaison_______________________Royal Payne Diaz

• Mother-in-Law Liaison______________________Stella Payne Diaz

• Official Spokesperson_______________________Howie Vasive

• Restroom Attendants_______________________Trudy Door & Donna Hall

• Russian Chauffeur__________________________Picov Andropov

• Scout Leader______________________________Lawson D. Woods

• Shop Foreman_____________________________Luke Bizzy

• Staff Intuitionist____________________________Ivan Inkling

• Used Car Salesman_________________________Alexis Itznot

Full list can be found here: http://www.cartalk.com/content/staff-credits

We were watching the Olympic shooting, when my mum says that a guy at the school she teaches at shoots internationally for Wales. Dad: "Well that's not too impressive, they're pretty big targets."

The conversation started on lunch with discussion of Helena Bonham Carter and how she has royalty in her veins.

Me: As long as she isn't royalty from Wales, it's cool.

Coworker: What's wrong with the Welsh?!

I stare blankly for a moment before opening my mouth to speak.

Coworker: They make really great juice!!

Cue collective groaning from around the conference/lunch room table.

My dad got me with a good one earlier today. In Britain there is a lot of rain so I said ME: a rugby match in Wales is cancelled today, they've got a waterlogged pitch Dad: I thought whales would've preferred underwater pitches

Why don't penguins like to visit Great Britain?

They are afraid of Wales.

Because they're scared of Wales