My flatmate and I are single AF so I got her flours for valentines day....
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpohieAuz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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For Valentines Day, I decided to get my wife some beads for an abacus.

It's the little things that count.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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Hey what are your plans for Valentine's day? -Us singles be like :
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrevAccountBanned
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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I Was Told You Might Like My Valentines Day Cards ;)
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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What did the beaver say to his wife on Valentine’s Day?

Damn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plutonianleo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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help!! anyone know any good history valentine’s day puns?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ry2232
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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For Valentine's day, I got my wife a sexy little number that really shows her curves...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sattoth
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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Why is it bad to be a buffet during Valentine’s Day?

Because people always want a-more

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geb69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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I have a joke about valentines day

But you wont get it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/donutfor2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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What type of flowers do sailors give on Valentine’s Day?

Forget-me-knots.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QX943
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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Cupcake decorating took a turn on Valentine's day when my daughter got frosting all over the freezer

I told my wife to just leave it though since the freezer has an auto defrost feature

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πŸ‘€︎ u/krigito
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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What did the farmer get his wife for Valentine's Day?

A sprinkler system and it irrigated her

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/krigito
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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People who celebrate Valentine’s Day are stupid

People who celebrate post Valentine’s Day are smart because you get more bang for your buck.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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What do you give a baker on Valentine's Day?

Flours

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πŸ‘€︎ u/casiocass
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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*Cries in valentine's day*
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πŸ‘€︎ u/satire_scull
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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I got friend zoned but being the gentleman that I am, I still have her a dozen roses for Valentine’s Day
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Da3013
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
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Not to brag, but I already have a date for Valentines Day.

February 14th.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2018
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I asked my wife what she wanted for Valentine's Day and she told me she wanted a divorce.

I told her I wasn't planning on spending that much.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fruitutu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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Why do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day ?

They're very scentimental

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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Valentines Day 2020 - "There's love in the air"

me: well no, its got nitrogen, oxygen and a spot of COVID

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πŸ‘€︎ u/growupyall
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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Finally, something for my Valentines Day dinner.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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Dates on Valentine's Day
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dee-nope
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day?

You're purr-fect for me!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNefelivata
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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This year for Valentine's day I gave people a can of root beer and a can of refried beans.

Told them to have a rootin' tootin' Valentine's day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manuel_f_p
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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My wife was absolutely livid after I gave her a clothesline for Valentine's day...

She stayed down a lot longer than they do in the WWE

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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My boyfriend gave me a ring on Valentine's day

And he reached my voicemail

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dummina
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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What do you call someone who was born on Valentine’s Day?

A love child

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Electrokid08
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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Girlfriend got mad when I gave her a box full of ants with calculators for valentines day

Don't understand why, she'd always told me it's little things that count?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alliswellinnz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
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Hey dads, get your significant other one of these for valentine's day!

https://imgur.com/VpQ80W3

I know my wife loves a boo-K.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/surfrock66
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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I already have a date lined up for Valentines day

I'm thinking Feb 14th

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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Am I the only one who got a Valentine's day card marked...

Current Resident

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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The only time I got anything for Valentine's Day was in 3rd grade where my teacher gave me a Slim Jim.

I spent Valentine's Day eating my meat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pikiinuu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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My pun-themed Valentine’s Day gifts for my best friend :)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smidgenofpidgeon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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I asked the older woman at work what she is doing for Valentine’s Day and she said that she was taking her husband to the Cardiologist. That is true love. The heart wants what the heart wants. ❀️
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AggieatLSU
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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Valentine's Day with my Crush imgur.com/gallery/ffhwR
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seehollisrun
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2017
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I finally found a date for Valentine’s Day

February 14

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeneralCoolr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2018
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I got a rooster on 2018's Valentine's day.

Lol, on last year's Valentine's day my best friend had got mad at me for not asking my crush out.

We'd planned on going to McDonald's together because he didn't have a date either. When I arrived at McDonald's this f*cker was holding a cardboard box with a terrified look and when he saw me he immediately gave me the box and told me he'd already bought the food and that we better take the bus to my place. I just thought he probably was joking or something because the box didn't even have any kind of decoration, it even had a chips brand printed on it, but as we got to the bus and sat I felt something moving inside, I thought maybe it was a puppy or something, but why did he look scared of it?

So, we get to my house, I go to my backyard, where my then 7yo beagle was and I open the box. I could only see a black blur flying out of it and then heard my best friend scream. It was a rooster. He's terrified of birds. And weirdest of all it was a fully grown rooster but he was super tiny, like 10 inches tall tiny.

I asked him wtf was going on and he just kinda hid behind the backyard door and said "I bought it so that you could get some cock tonight". I always make puns and he hates them, I was speechless. So long story short I now own 6 chickens and 4 roosters (my mom got super mad at him for buying the rooster, but then she got super attached and bought him a chicken, when she laid eggs she let them hatch, the rooster's name is Enrique btw, my mom even made him a birthday party and all last week, lol)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArbiterInqui
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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I hop everyone has a hoppy Valentine’s Day!
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ileisen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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Yeah, I have a date for Valentine's Day.

February 14th.

(it's 11:26 PM where I am so it's still Valentine's Day for me)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWM_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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After Valentine's Day, we need an "Alentine's Ay"

because there should be something for those who don't get the V or the D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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I bought my wife a matching belt and bag for Valentine's Day

She should have that vacuum up and running in no time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goodlyearth
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day

I find it to be a bit cheesy

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UmmmOfCourse
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2018
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I would talk about Valentine’s Day

But it looks like I missed my date

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SherpaBoye
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour

She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrcheckpointeh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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With Valentine's Day coming up this week, I fear I'm going to be inundated with women.

Oops, sorry. In. Undated.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JsonWaterfalls
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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My wife says she wants to order a glass of wine during our Valentine’s Day dinner.

She says she loves being carded.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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I NEED PUNS FOR VALENTINES DAY FOR CLASS! MY TEACHER IS MAKING ME MAKE CARDS!
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StarHeartCypher
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
For Valentines Day, I decided to get my girlfriend some beads for an abacus.

It’s the little things that count.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tobias_drundridge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
For Valentines Day, I decided to get my wife some beads for an abacus.

It’s the little things that count.

πŸ‘︎ 595
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report

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