Two friends are having a conversation. "My wife has just gone on vacation in the Carribbean" say's one. "Jamaica?" replies the other.

No, she wanted to go.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EastlyGod1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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My friend Wat never gains weight on vacation

Wat goes a round, comes a round

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jpereira73
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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I had a friend who went to Dubai for vacation. I asked him...

Dubai anything?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vitmal
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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Two friends go on a vacation to Africa together

They come across the river. The one friend jumps in and exclaims β€œwow the water here in Kenya is so clear!” The other man replies β€œwhat are you talking about we’re not in Kenya! We’re in Egypt.” The friend in the water says β€œno I’m absolutely sure that this is a Kenyan river.” His friend sighs β€œdude it’s an Egyptian river...you’re in denial”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dickdackduck
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
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After three years this is still the one joke I'm the most proud of. I got my friend with this one on our road trip to our vacation in Italy.

So this was in the summer of 2011 and at the time this song was a big hit: Medina - You and I. The important part here is the chorus, starting at 0:44.

So in the middle of the song I ask my friend "Do you know what kind of car this singer drives?"
"No idea", she said. To which I replied "A hyu-n-dai."

She almost threw me out of the car.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anntike
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2015
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Got my friend abandoned by his family for a vacation.

Him: I'm so mad. My whole family is in Milan right now and I'm stuck here at school. Me: Would you say you're feeling a little Milan-choly?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/delawahoo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2015
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I'm vacationing in a part of Puerto Rico know for violent crime, so I borrowed some of my friend's xanax.

He told me it's great at preventing Hispanic attacks.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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Ravens and Crows

A good friend told me a story once. When she was a kid her family would often go to zoos and museums while on vacation. They were in the aviary on one of those visits looking at birds. My friend saw a crow asked the zookeeper a question. "What's the difference between a raven and a crow?" The zookeeper looked at her, smiled and started to answer. "Have you ever heard of a pinion feather?" he said. "Pinions are the the feathers at the tip of a bird's wing that allows it to fly. They are also the ones that people will trim to prevent birds from flying away. Crows have 5 pinion feathers while ravens have 6. So, if you think about it, it's really just a matter of a pinion."

To this day, my friend and her family don't know the real answer to "What's the difference between a crow and a raven?" They are wonderful and intelligent people, but they subscribe to a particular brand of ignorance where a good pun is better than actual knowledge. They call it punorance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JediPaxis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2017
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Remembered this from when I was younger

Was on a family vacation to the beach and my sister, mom, dad and I were all in a local Ben and Jerry's getting some ice cream. Well the guy in front of us definitely had the Donald Trump hair going on and we all noticed. Out of nowhere, my dad turns around with a straight face and says,

"I'll pay for the ice cream this time, but you toupee next time."

I couldn't help but laugh and my mother had to walk out of the parlor. These comments are the reason why my father is my best friend

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2016
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my proudest moment

Last week, I took my friends to my parents house at the beach for a couple days for fun vacation times. One of my friends bought a box of cheerwine krispy kreme doughnuts, but one of the tasty morsels mysteriously disappeared in the night. The day after, we discussed the culprit options. One person said "maybe it was your dad," another said "maybe it was your mom," and I said "or maybe it was one of us.." A couple seconds of silence passed, then I had the biggest pun eureka moment in which I excitedly chortled, "Man, this is a real WHODOUGHNUT!!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gooseyp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2011
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Blonde concierge trying to sell us a timeshare...

So, my wife and I were on vacation with a couple (male) friends last week. Part of the deal was sitting through a timeshare pitch. Our concierge needed her supervisor (Amanda) to help explain some of the details.

Concierge: "I need Amanda, please."

Me: "I don't think my wife would appreciate it, but you can have either of them."

About a minute later, after continuing on with her spiel, she busted out laughing and said, "I get it now!"

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohmbience
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2014
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If you make your bed, you might as well sleep in it.

I was asking my parents' permission to go on vacation with my friends at our condo on the coast.

Mom says, "Sure that's fine! That means you get to sleep in the master bedroom for the first time!"

I respond, "Yeah, I probably won't though... I mean that's your bed so I don't think I'd really be... comfortable."

Dad says, "Well then you better not sleep on the kitchen table either!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ooklah_the_Punk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2013
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It rained in Indonesia

Wife talking about a mutual friend who we didn't see for a while.

Wife: I just saw Noor he's back at work now. He was on vacation in Indonesia.

Me: How was his trip?

Wife: He said not good as it rained the whole time.

Me: So he vacationed in Indoor-nesia?

Wife: not impressed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aamir64
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2016
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Shit Zoo

Friends of mine were on vacation and decided to make a trip to the local zoo.

They found it a little disappointing

They only had one animal display, it was a Shih Tzu

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BroccoIiRob
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2015
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Dad jokes go abroad

(while on vacation in Spain)

Friend: Ew, so many flies! Go away flies!

Me: The flies don't understand you, you know.

Friend: Yeah, I know β€”

Me: They speak Spanish here. Try 'Β‘dΓ©jame en paz!'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/quince23
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2014
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Not a normal dad joke, just a joke from my friend's Dad.

I went on vacation in highschool with one of my good friends and his Dad and another friend, who is basically the coolest fucking guy you'll ever meet (We call him Cool Daddy Mike). Its not so much a dad joke, more just a fucked up joke my friend's Dad told me, but on our way down to Florida from Ohio, we stopped halfway there to stay in a hotel and finish the drive the next day. Since it was just 4 of us for 1 night we only got one room with 2 king sized beds. When we got to the room his dad looked at me and said "If you woke up one morning with a condom hanging out of your ass, would you tell anyone?" I of course said no I would not. He then said "Well alright looks like we are sharing a bed tonight" and points two finger guns at me. It may seem fucked up but if you knew his dad like we all did, you would have died laughing with us. (Just to clarify I did not get sexually assaulted in my sleep by my friend's dad)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Longsack9
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2015
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With my friend's dad

So my friend and I are on vacation, on our way back to our hotel my friend starts complaining about the galaxy s5's autocorrect.

His dad turns around and says, "I know, it's my mortal enema."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FusRoBlah
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2014
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