Useless Puns

I searched for lighters but ti only came up whith 14,852 matches

I tried to look up lighters and all they had were 13,570 matches

I told him plenty of times to tag a telly but he kept rushing off to the pasta aisle

I always put them in the bin straight after I buy them

I tried to search for a lighter but all I got was 13958 matches

The first is a chaffy lassie. The other is a laughy chassis.

Next time I'll just pay for a racket.

circles because they are pointless

'You can always serve as a bad example!!'

Google is useless- I tried searching up lighters, but it just gave me 13,756,072 matches.

Explanation- Matches refers to a substitute for a lighter, but also to the search results that Google provides :)

A zero-point energy gun.

Elon Musk could launch a perfume line and call it Elon's Musk.

Yep, he was the trivia knight.

A word to the stupid might actually change something.

Le Z

You can always be used as a bad example!

http://imgur.com/a/n8SEU

Teacher: I forbid you to say that to yourself!

But how are you meant to find yourself within if you don't have one?

But all I got was ten thousand matches.

becomes irrelephant

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 18,346 matches.

all they had was 15,809 matches

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 12579 matches

I tried looking up lighters and all they had were thousands of matches.

All I found was 13,769 matches

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

I tried looking up lighters but all they had was 3,478 matches.

an Irrelephant