Unzipped Puns

I always have trouble with emotional attachments.

Sigh unzips

Sigh unzips

Her: "I don't know, can I pull off a vest?"

Me: "Once you unzip it, it shouldnt be too much trouble."

You unzip its genes.

In my hometown liquor store there is a big sign on the door "take your hoods off" meaning the take the hood on your jacket off of your head so they can see your face. My jacket I was wearing has a removable hood, so I unzipped my hood and carried it with me. My wife didn't find it anywhere as funny as I did.

you unzip its genes.

• everyone shakes head in disappointment or chuckles *

So, its the day "Clash of the Titans' comes out in theaters. My dad decides to take my brother and I, (we're all big fans), so we get there early and are waiting out in the lobby, my dad and brother go to the bathroom, I wait on a bench for them. A few minutes go by and I see them coming out, my dad giggling at himself, my brother red with embarrassment, and some men behind them laughing.. I want to know, but do I really want to know?

"What did you do?"

He proceeded to tell me of how he overheard some guys chatting about how excited they are for the movie, then realized everyone in there was probably going to see the same movie we are, so he thought it would be a good idea to get in the conversation. He calmy unzipped his pants and yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" as he peed.

And that was all he said.

My poor brother.

My sister was showing me some pictures of her prom-dress. I said it looked like something out of game of thrones, but she didn't agree.

Me: "Oh well, it's not like I know that much about dresses anyways."

Dad, from behind the wheel: "As long as you know how to UNZIP THEM!!"

I high fived him and my mother and sister looked disgusted.