What did the the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna one, Anna two.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2023
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Some top Tom Swifties
  • "Can't talk, busy camping," replied Tom, intent.
  • "The French don't deserve our thanks," said Tom mercilessly.
  • "Haven't you heard me singing in church?" Tom inquired.
  • "I'll win this tennis game if I get one more point, " Tom deduced.
  • "I didn't eat my T-bone tonight," said Tom mistakenly.
  • "So you're asking about my mink coat," Tom inferred.
  • "I'm wearing a watch around my wrist," said Tom with abandon.
  • "I'm the most important salmon vendor," said Tom selfishly.
  • "I was correct the first three times, and I am correct now," said Tom forthrightly.
  • "Castration is reversible," Tom remembered.
  • "I brought the dessert," said Tom piously.
  • "I command my own private army," said Tom maliciously.
  • "I'll order the same meat as last time," Tom revealed.
  • "I've never swum in Egypt's longest river," said Tom in denial.
  • "Et tu?" asked Tom brutally.
  • "That's women for you," said Tom dismissively.
  • "I'll have a bowl of Chinese soup," said Tom wantonly.
  • "I eat everything," said Tom in jest.
  • "I gave you your freedom, and I can take it away," said Tom deliberately.
  • "Maybe if I rub this lamp something good will happen," said Tom ingeniously.
  • "I'm never taking an Uber again," Tom derided.
  • "That dog is a mongrel," Tom muttered.
  • "It's too bad Babe isn't on our team," said Tom ruthlessly.
  • "Maybe I should stop using worms to catch fish... or maybe not," Tom debated.
  • "Hemingway is my favorite author," said Tom earnestly.
  • "This drumming is too easy," said Tom without missing a beat.
  • "This is a frozen dessert,” I screamed.
  • "Now I have TWO duck feathers", Tom doubled down.
  • "She would never answer her phone the first time, you always had to hang up once," Tom recalled.
  • "Two plus five is seven,” Tom added.
  • "I only have Diamonds, Clubs and Spades," said Tom heartlessly.
  • "It's okay, the PlayStation still works," Tom consoled.
  • "Capital punishment is mostly used on the lower classes," said Tom with poor execution.
  • "Where are all of my old board games?" asked Tom cluelessly.
  • "I might be acquitted," said Tom without conviction.
  • "I've never dyed my hair red, but I'll try it," said Tom gingerly.
  • "Ugh! I need to shave again," Tom bristled.
  • "Whale hunting makes me so sad," Tom blubbered.
  • "I'll quit smoking marijuana right now!" said Tom bluntly.
  • "I like hot dogs more than hamburgers," said Tom frankly.
  • "I signed it twice," Tom remarked.
  • "I received a letter to take my car in for repair," Tom recalled.
  • "I hate pale ale," sai
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2022
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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What did the drummer name his two daughters?

Anna 1, Anna 2

πŸ‘︎ 207
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πŸ‘€︎ u/greenapple816
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2022
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What did the drummer name his twin daughters?

Anna One....Anna Two

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MitchellOfficial
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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