While at a restaurant, the waitress was totally flirting with me with my wife present. After she walked away, my wife said “She obviously has COVID!” “Why would you think that?” I asked.
“Because she has no taste.”
Before we left the restaurant, the waitress asked if we wanted a box for leftovers.
"No, I was hoping you'd just give them to us, for free."
Where’d the one-legged waitress work?
What did Peter Andre say to the waitress at Oktoberfest?
Just give me some kind of stein girl.
Told the waitress my coffee tasted like mud.
"It should, it was fresh ground this morning. "
Don’t forget to tip the waitress
What did Davy Crockett say when the waitress brought his pie?
"Remember the a la mode!"
i went to a restaurant and the waitress threw a piece of meat on the ceiling. she offered me $100 to go and get it off and i replied:
No, the steaks are too high!
Son, you should always tip the waitress
Tip her, but don’t let her fall
What's the name of the one-legged waitress that works at IHOP?
For all you folks living with diabetes... (My daughter and I both have type 1.) Here’s the joke — What do you say when the waitress at the Mexican restaurant asks you if you want sauce with your carne asada?
I went into a diner the other day and said to the waitress, "I'll have a rubber band sandwich".
At the restaurant, my family was nearly finished eating and I still had half a plate of food left. The waitress asked, "Do you wanna box for that?"
I replied, "No thanks, I'd rather wrestle for it!"
The waitress came over and saw my leftovers and asked, "do ya wanna box for that?"
I responded with, "no, but we can arm wrestle any day."
Oh damn guess I get to keep my tip
When getting ready to leave the restaurant, our hot waitress noticed by leftovers and asked: “do you wanna box for that?”
I said: “I’d rather wrestle for it”.
"Waitress,can I ask you something about the menu please ?"
Waitress: [slaps me a good one across the face] "The men I please are none of your business !"....OOF
Waitress: Do you want a box for the rest of your food?
Dad: No. But I'll wrestle you for it!
Waitress at Wimpy asked us if we'd like onion rings or mozzarella sticks 'for the table'
"No thanks, I don't think the table's hungry."
Why did the waitress get promoted?
She brought a lot to the table.
The waitress asked my dad if he was paying credit.
He responded with a grin, "Did you just assume my tender?"
At the local cafe, the waitress always calls me "hun"...
I don't know whether it's because she likes me or because I dress like a fifth century nomad...
In a Jerusalem restaurant, a waitress asks a customer, "How's everything tasting?" And the customer answeres...
"Isreali good, thank you."
How long does it take to get the Belgium waffle all the way from Belgium?
I overheard an older gentleman asking the waitress this before ordering at the diner.
Waitress: Are you done with the glasses?
The waitress asked me how I wanted my steak cooked
I told her I wanted it cooked on a stove.
Dad's at it again. Borderline unacceptably dad-joking the Denny's waitress.
family walks into Denny's
Waitress: "Welcome to Denny's! Just five of you today?"
Dad: "Yes, four adults, one child."
Waitress: "Alright, would you like a kids menu today?"
Dad: "No thanks, I just had three. They were delicious."
-_-
The Waitress saw me and my gf were wrapping up our meals. "Y'all wanna box for your leftovers?"
"I'm not much of a boxer, but I'll wrestle you for them."
Every time the the waitress asks if we'd like the check.
"Sure, make it out to 'Dad'."
What did the waitress say to the man who wouldn't stop staring at her while she refilled his glass?
Take a pitcher, it'll last longer!
Waitress needed to rerun a debit card at the bar I was working at.
The waitress went up to the customer and said, "Hey, I'm sorry about this but for some reason your card didn't read, I'm going to need your card again."
I overheard this from behind the bar and said, "Amber, it's the middle of the summer, why in the world would this guy have his cardigan."
That was the first and only time I ever got a tip from a guy I never served or talked to.
I yelled at the waitress for burning my toast. I told her I will not stand for it!
I guess you could say I'm black toast intolerant.
Dad joked the waitress
Waitress is taking our order.
Dad: I'd like a rubber band sandwich. And make it snappy.
A wolf, a fox and a weasel all go to a diner. The waitress comes over and asks them what they want to drink. “Coffee” growls the wolf. “Water” says the fox...
And “Pop!” goes the weasel.
After our meal the waitress asked “Would you like to go tea’s”...
No ma’am, I have a full beard and my wife prefers not having facial hair.
Went to a restaurant today and the waitress asked me if I wanted the soup or salad.
I said no I don't want the super salad, I'll just take the regular one.
Whenever the waiter/waitress asks if they can take our plates.
"Sure, they were yours to begin with!"
Did you hear about the Texas Roadhouse tightroping waitress competition?
It was hard for the girls to have fun since the steaks were so high.
So the waitress asked how would i rate their food.
Having dinner out with my parents the waitress asks my dad, “you wanna box?”
“No but I know a little Kung Fu” used hand motions and everything.
"Here's a complimentary bottle of wine," said the waitress.
"You're very handsome," the bottle told me.
"How would you like your fish?" asked the waitress.
I said, "Raw."
She said, "Sir, please remove the lion mask."
The cute waitress brought the main dish
She really took my bread away.
Friend of mine dadjoked the waitress while we were on a double date...
At a restaurant, waitress comes to take our order...
Friend: Yeah, can I have the quesadilla? But I'm not that hungry, is there anyway I can have just one 'dilla' and not the whole case?
I preceded to laugh uncontrollably.
The ladies contemplated leaving.
Got the waitress at P.F. Chang's good a couple weeks ago.
I was out for a nice dinner at P.F. Chang's with a couple buddies to celebrate my birthday. I had decided to order the Shaking Beef, because it sounded delicious (and it was).
The waitress came to take our orders, got to me, and I asked for the Shaking Beef. When she asked how I wanted it, out of impulse, I replied "Shaking, not stirred".
Both of my buddies groaned and gave me shit for the rest of the night, but the waitress laughed, so it went okay. I was, and still am, proud.
Giving our newly on the job waitress a hard time
Waitress: And what can I get for you Sir?
Dad: I'll take the Parmesan Encrusted Steak please.
Waitress: What temperature would you like that cooked?
Dad: 500...... KELVIN!
Me (facepalming): ...He'd like his steak medium...
I was at a restaurant and said to the waitress ”Excuse me, can I ask you something about the menu please?”
She kicked me out and said “The men I please are none of your business!”
I was at a restaurant and said to the waitress ”Excuse me, can I ask you something about the menu please?”
She kicked me out and said “The men I please are none of your business!”
When the waitress asks if I want the soup or salad to start...
I reply: Perfect, I'll take the SUPER SALAD.
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