"I'm a strong supporter of the LTPO community...

(Lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion.)"

God dammit, dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ASProtag
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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The guy working in the factory was told he was not strong enough to do the job

He decided to quit by handing in his too weak notice

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clutchdeve
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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"I'm fairly certain that I stole my son's really strong beer from the bridge."

"What percent?"
"I'm about 80% sure."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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I was at the supermarket and I picked up these little odd shaped onions. When I got home my wife asked should she use them for dinner tonight, I told her "Yes, but they're quite strong so...

...don't use shallot."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/__itsyaboi__
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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The puns are strong with this user
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/agarcia128
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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Why is the wind so strong today?

It’s clearly been working out

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Khalid147
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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The schwartz is strong with this one /r/teenagers/comments/f3t…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cienpies
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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I get really strong after shaving the wool off of my sheep, William.

It's my sheer Will power.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rapidwave
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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The Irony is strong in this one
πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cosmogally
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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How did the librarian get so strong

They hit the books

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwareSpring708
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
The Dad jokes are strong with this one...

My daughter read one book on comedy and wanted to try stand up , knowing the quality of her material I of course said yes!

https://youtu.be/Rtsmxu5KafQ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trevorlaird
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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The new "Joker" movie is rated R for Strong bloody violence, language, disturbing behavior and brief sexual images"..

I guess you could say that the "Joker" without an R is just a joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grmnlad
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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I’m very optimistic about the upcoming U.S. elections. I feel as though the country will be able to move forward with a strong, clear vision.

It is 2020, after all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kttypo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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The therapist asked my wife why she wanted to end our marriage. She said she hated all the constant Star Wars puns. I look at the therapist and said, "Divorce is strong with this one!"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/svk7sarthak
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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The Dad Jokes is strong with my 12 y/o son.

My wife: Daddy and I are tired from looking for a car today.

Son: Would you say you are Exhaust-ed!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tang81
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2016
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What did the old, ripped rope say to the young strong rope when asked if it can still be used to tug a boat?

I’m a frayed knot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingofthepassel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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As we were driving, a friend of mine pointed to a bridge with a train on it and stated that the bridge didn't look very strong.

I replied that what it lacks in strength, it makes up for in training.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
The Hulk is incredibly strong.

You can tell because he doesn't Bruce easily.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AardvarkMonarch
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2018
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How did the coffee get so strong?

Doing the French press.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tuba_phone
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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If I punch myself in the face and it hurts, am I strong or weak?
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lala_vroom
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2018
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Got my girlfriend (in labour with our first son, having strong contractions) on the way to the hospital

Me: So you think he might be born by midnight?

Her: I dunno...we might get in there and the triage nurse says I'm only 1cm

Me: Hmmm...I think you're more like 5'2"

It went down as well as you might expect.

πŸ‘︎ 354
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RadToTheBone86
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2015
🚨︎ report
The dad in you is strong

Son: We’re in Walgreens so Mal can get eye drops and some girl goes, β€œAre you finding everything okay?” So I pull a dad and go, β€œYou guys have β€˜everything’? Where’s your Meaning Of Life?”

She calmly responded, β€œYou won’t find that in Vegas.”

Dad: It's "I wasnt looking for everything". But your quip was fair. You need more practice. Keep trying.

Son: No kids yet, so I can’t channel the arcane magic

Dad: You will always carry your inner dad. The dad is strong with you my young dadawan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wuzamatterforyou
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Horses are strong and muscular because they are in the neighhhhvy and cows are fat and lazy because they like moooooovies.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Krosenoise
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2018
🚨︎ report
A rare child free night, a fancy restaurant. Waiter tells us the wine he's pouring has "strong tannins." I turn to my wife and tell her if the wine turns orange it's definitely a knock off...

... because of the fake tannin.

I grin, she groans and drinks more wine.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chibolamoo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2017
🚨︎ report
For having such strong opinions on border security, Donald Trump sure can cross the line.
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arthurktripp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2015
🚨︎ report
The force is strong with this one...

I have a four year old daughter and a two year old son. My daughter often complains (usually not too long after eating dinner) that she's hungry so lately I've been getting her with the staple "Hi Hungry, I'm Dad" line. Just today on our way back from the gym she complains that she's hungry again to which my son replies "Hi Hungwee!"

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bits_and_notes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad, 61, still strong with the dadjokes

Visiting my dad for the weekend, watching an old movie when a scene with nuns comes on, I ask him "Why are they called nuns?" Without missing a beat, his reply: "If you try to get with them, you'll get "nun".

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Triginock
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2014
🚨︎ report
Why is the US so Army strong?

Is it because they skip leg day?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drilkmops
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2016
🚨︎ report
The dad is strong in this one

My wife is a wine drinker; while putting away dishes, I held one up and told my wife, "Your wine glasses are a pain in the ass".

Our youngest son promptly chimed in with "You mean a pain in the glass?!"

Moments like this make a dad proud. :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redneckrockuhtree
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2016
🚨︎ report
The force is strong in this one

Dad in Darth Vader voice: I am your father! Son replies:"I know dad, you're not funny..." Dad:"Just kidding."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SomeRandomPidgeon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2016
🚨︎ report
President Obama: "The State of the Boullion is too strong."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sicwriter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2013
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The elevator mechanic father joke reminded me of my dad doing this for 30 years now and still going strong

He drove semi for UPS for 32 years until he retired. He used to tell people he was a "semi professional driver"

eye roll

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_var_log_messages
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2014
🚨︎ report

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