It was no small feet.
"He just raised the bar."
He cos ΞΈ it.
That's when I realised I was playing the Bee side.
...because there were already apse for that.
Itβs held by the kid who sat behind me on American Airlines flight 86 from DFW to Paris.
I made it in 33, which is record speed.
He asks the assistant βDo you have βEuropean Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.β
βCertainly,β replies the assistant. βWould you like to listen before you buy it?β
"That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones.
He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, βI'm terribly sorry, but I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don't recognize any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?β
The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologizes and lifts the needle onto the next track.
Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, "No, this just can't be right! I've been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don't recognize any of these sounds."
The assistant apologizes again and lifts the needle to the next track.
The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage.
"This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!"
The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over.
"What seems to be the problem, sir?"
"This is an outrage! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!"
The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly.
"I'm terribly sorry, sir. It appears we've been playing you the bee side."
It was retired
Because every conversation they had went in circles.
It would be nice if it played forward too.
Because the houses he leaves, are structurally in-caw-wrecked
Itβs like he lives on the other side of the tracks.
"car-pool tunnel syndrome."
Meowvalous
HeHe
She grabs a cup of hot cocoa and watches through the window as he fills the bucket up with water and races from the back of the house all the way out to the front yard and out of sight. She bundles up and goes outside to get a closer look and sees that heβs cleared the snow from the sidewalk. She watches as he takes his bucket of water and pours it out on the cold concrete. Sheβs puzzled for a second and then says:
Icy, what you did there.
You could see the punch line coming from a mile away
He only lives a stone's throw away
The head veterinarian at a zoo noticed something alarming in a patientβs record. A monkey that had been a healthy weight at its last checkup was now recorded as being only half that.
Fearing for the monkeyβs health, he went and saw it, expecting it to be sickly and skeletal. However, the monkey seemed totally normal. Confused told his staff to weigh the monkey again.
They did, but the number they reported was still astonishingly low. Sure it was a mistake, he went to weigh the monkey for himself. But when he put the monkey on the scale, it showed a number that was still far too low, and couldnβt possibly be right.
After a moment he spotted the problem: behind the scale was a grab bar on the wall, and the monkey had stealthily grabbed it with its tail, and was supporting some of its weight off the scale that way.
So the monkey's weight was fine, they just weren't paying attention to de tail.
Roxanne...
Edit-spelling
It was his vinyl resting place
It has been 43 years and I still cannot solve it.
It was a real big dill!
Then the librarian told me to take it out.
I tried to get a refund. But I couldn't get my NickleBack.
To be sure. Iβll let myself out.....
He took a shortcut.
I think she watches the highlights later.
He replies, 'I didn't think you needed one to get into Australia any more'.
But I just couldnβt hack it
There will be repercussions!
He was de-throned.
Start with a large fortune.
Since then, the steaks have never been higher.
Drifting down the alphabetised rock section, nothing really appealed to me from A-M. Disappointed, I moved around to the other side of the rack when suddenly I felt uplifted, content and at one with the universe. I had reached Nirvana.
So he put in a Rush order!
And now I'm no longer allowed in the library
I have bought a turntable.
At least until the Librarian caught me.
I think she watches the highlights later.
