What do you call someone who points out the obvious?
Someone who points out the obvious.
Teacher: Felix, when is the boiling point reached? Felix: Just after my father reads my report card.
My kid is at the point where they want to put bandaids on everything...
I swear this is a true organic dad joke I had tonight. Felt I’d share it with reddit.
My kid came up to me and says “oh no, look dad, it needs a bandaid” as she gently presents her imaginarily injured bouncy ball.
I looked at my kid and said “I don’t think it needs a bandaid, he looks like he’s going to bounce back”
Im tired of being misunderstood and I’m going to get straight to the point!
I’m drawing a line in the sand.
Most people consider the Battle of Gettysburg the turning point of the American Civil War
For the Confederacy, it all went South from there
Did you guys hear about the new Space Jam sequel where Marvin the Martian joins the Monstars, scores all of their points and they win it all?
You should check it out, it’s a really good Martian Scores’easy film
A man drew a line in the middle of himself to prove a point...
There is no point in adding an extra 's' to the word needles.
The XFL hit their lowest point ever.
A guy walks into the bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and screams, “Give me all your money or you’re geography!”
The teller replies, “Don’t you mean history?”
The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!"
Why did the architecture student get points off on his blueprint of a Soviet house?
Unnecessary Marx and Engels.
I don't get the point of circles
I was racing with my younger brother on the track, and then he got mad that I didn’t draw a finish line marker on the sand. We kept racing but he kept losing, and at one point he got so mad he threw a tantrum and started hitting and punching and kicking me furiously
.....and that’s when I drew the line.
I don’t see the point of slurry
Why couldn't the point go any further?
Beacuse it was the end of the line
The school made the use of "bullet points" illegal because it incited violence in the classroom, and I must admit I couldn't have cared less. That's all changed now, though.
The bus driver isn't allowed to drive my kids anymore because we live on a dead end street.
[REQUEST] I'll get straight to the point, I need a knife pun
As the title says, I need a pun that involves two unlikely friends. Knives and Charity/donations.
Any help would be appreciated!
Knife to be here in this community
After an argument, my cooking instructor wants me to stew goose feathers gently below or just at the boiling point...
She wants me to simmer down!
I buy yogurt to the point where some people call it hoarding
But I know it’s just cultured behaviour
I like the smell of my wife whenever she complains about justifiable points
I really like her fairer moans
Yesterday I had a 10-point, an 8-point, and a 4-point buck in my yard at the same time.
What did the exclamation point say to the question mark?
At what point did the tomato realize he was about to get lucky?
When the garlic started taking off her cloves.
My ex girlfriend had the laziest cat, she was so lazy I actually at one point thought it was dead.
Turned out it was just catatonic.
What’s the highest point in a geologist’s career?
When they hit rock bottom.
I went to a dinner party yesterday. The hosts are chefs and made all kinds of food, buffet style. I arrived early had some hors d'oeuvres. Then I realized I was thirsty, and I wanted to try the mixed juice drink. At this point everyone else was getting food, so I walked right up and got a cup...
What is the point of a propeller on a plane?
To keep the pilot cool. Once it stops you will see him start to sweat.
A local town (Bulls, New Zealand) has signs with bull puns scattered across the town at points of interest.
A friend of mine asserts that she loves all animals. However, I did point out to her the distain she holds for large African water-dwelling mammals.
I just think she’s being a bit hippo critical.
People who think semi-colons & commas are the same, are missing the point.
My dad and I are walking around Munich and I point out all the construction.
True story, he says, “The crane business must be booming.”
[true story] Dad and daughter trimming the Christmas tree with tinsel— DAD (points to empty spot on tree and says to daughter): “Little more on here.” DAUGHTER (storms off crying)...
...”MOM! DAD CALLED ME A LITTLE MORON!!”
An evil French chef mixes Kryptonite in their treats and flings them at Superman. Batman arrives on the scene but does nothing, allowing Jimmy Olsen to catch the pastries in a net, at which point Superman saves the day. It’s like they say:
Not all heroes snare crepes.
The sweetest thing you can do for your partner is lose a tennis match to them by not scoring a single point.
I just don't understand the point of these...
At any point in time the urge to sing *’A Lion Sleeps Tonight’* is just a....
Whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away....
A mere cat checking out the finer points of 2-meter communications.
Did you hear about the flower seller who got held up at gun point...
... he was a petrified florist.
We are standing at Depoe Bay, Oregon watching the whales. I point at a bird (ironically), “look Patty, a seagull!” My wife replies, “no, it’s a bagel.” “Why is it a bagel?” “Because it’s over the BAY!” That’s pretty funny, but...
The thing is she didn’t just make up this joke, but this is the first time I’ve heard it. We’ve been married for 18 years. That means that she’s been waiting for 18 years until we were near the ocean, at a bay, waiting for a seagull to fly over. The dad joke is above average, but statistically speaking, she has my respect 100%.
What do you call a person who points out the obvious
The person who points out the obvious
The XFL just hit their lowest point ever.
I don’t get the point of slurry
A guy walks into the bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and screams, “Give me all your money or you’re geography!”
The teller replies, “Don’t you mean history?”
The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!"
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