The Piano Puns

They're extinct.

You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish

I'll start:

In one of my old apartments, I had my piano up against a shared wall. I honestly didn't think about the music being audible in my neighbor's place. And I played with abandon.

A few months into my lease I get an unexpected knock on the door. In a place like Chicago (where I live), that's rarely a good sign. I look through the peephole and see an older woman and a younger man standing on the other side.

With caution, I open the doorway and ask, "Yes?"

"Are you the person we can hear playing the piano?"

"Uh...." my gut dropped. I would play all hours of the night; improvising until 3am sometimes. "Yes."

"Here," the older woman handed me a foil-covered Chinet plate. "I made these for you. My son and I love hearing you play. It's so beautiful!"

Instantly disarmed, I open the door fully and take the plate. Removing the foil I see about a dozen brownies that felt and smelled like they'd come straight from her oven.

"Thank you!" I was wholly surprised.

"You're welcome. And thank you. We'll let you get back to it then."

I shut the door and placed the brownies on my counter. As I went to grab one, my hand stopped. "Perhaps," I thought, "they hate my playing and they're trying to poison me......"

My better nature pushed the notion away and I had a bite. It was quite good. That's when I had another thought:

"I bet drummers never have this kind of thing happen to them."

But now I just use my hands.

Why? Becuase I'm human. I've gotten straight A's this whole year and suddenly, in this report card, I got complacent and I got two B's this quarter. Oh and my social studies grade looks TERRIBLE because my teacher is slow to grade stuff. But no she wouldn't let me explain. She set strict rules, such as:

1. I must sit in the counter where she can see my screen at all times
2. I am not allowed to go on any social media, video games, or any youtube
3. I must only use my chromebook when I am doing homework.
4. Basically, DON"T BE A KID. DON"T LIVE. DON'T ENJOY YOURSELF. JUST GET GOOD GRADES AND I DON"T GIVE A SHIT.

She told me that if I don't pull up my grades by the end of the week, she'll pull me out. I'll be as good as dead. What am I without my favorite hobbies?

I'm so fucking sad. I just want to live my life. I do so many things, I did so much for her. I did everything right, and I messed up ONCE in an ENTIRE YEAR. And she won't fucking forget. She compared me to my brother and said I"ll be a failure like him.

EDIT: There's an uneasy peace here. I was having a fun conversation with her and my sister and suddenly she starts berating me and telling me how expensive my dance classes are and how disrespectful i am........

EDIT #2: She seems to not be so mad anymore, but again, every so often she stops to tell me how I'm not off the hook :/

*and a properly dithered

Thanks!

Sorry if this isn’t the right place to post this, just even hearing “rubber tree” out of his mouth made my heart so warm and happy 🥰

I usually know composers who compose melodies for most instruments through the piano, but is it possible to do this same process with the guitar?

I'm intending to study orchestration, I already have some material here, but first of all I would like to know if it is more difficult for me to try to compose melodies for the orchestra instruments through the guitar.

They're extinct.