I need to speak with the chair
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︎ Dec 17 2020
What's the best chair for a fever?
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 10 2021
I've come up with a list of the top 10 types of specialized chairs
π︎ 18
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Why did the nurse get second chair in the symphony?
Because they were a Band-Aid
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 27 2020
Have you heard of the man who survived the electric chair
I was shocked but he wasn't
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︎ Jun 11 2020
What did the chair say after it finished travelling around the world?
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 12 2020
All the chairs in my town were stolen
And the people canβt stand it.
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︎ Jun 27 2020
A man purposely crashed two passenger trains, killing hundreds. Why didnβt he get the electric chair?
Turns out he was a really bad conductor.
π︎ 13
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︎ May 28 2020
What did the train engineer say when the electric chair didnβt work on him?
βI guess Iβm just a good conductorβ
π︎ 5
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︎ May 30 2020
My friend was a chair upholstery technician but got the coronavirus. It took him out 2 weeks, but he's finally getting better...
π︎ 6
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︎ Apr 14 2020
My friend got caught trying to steal the most expensive chair in the world
and it was all because he was told to please take a seat
π︎ 11
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︎ Apr 19 2020
I can't believe they gave that engineer who wrecked the train in New York the electric chair. And he survived it!
I guess he just wasn't a very good conductor.
π︎ 9
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︎ Apr 19 2020
One of the legs of this chair is shorter than the others.
I'm trying to just be okay with it but if I'm being honest it just doesn't sit well with me.
π︎ 13
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︎ Feb 20 2020
My grandfather is really frustrated that he has to take the stair chair lift because of his age.
Itβs driving him up the wall.
π︎ 2k
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︎ May 15 2018
Looking for an easier way to get chopped spaghetti off the floor. (Under the high chair)
Because my current solution is not cutting it.
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 05 2019
Why did the chair break when a plank fell on it?
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 25 2019
Why did the giant eat the chairs?
He wanted to make them into stools.
π︎ 10
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︎ May 18 2019
I have one thing to say to the man in the wheel chair that stole my camouflage jacket
You can hide, but you canβt run.
π︎ 21
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︎ Jul 11 2019
I found a really nice chair on sale the other day, but I wasn't sure it was worth buying
I decided to sit on it for a while and decide later
π︎ 10
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︎ Aug 01 2019
In a one story house the walls are blue, the chairs are blue, the floor is blue, the lights are blue, the living room is blue, the bedrooms are blue, the kitchen is blue, even the air has a blueish tint. What color are the stairs?
The house is ONE STORY it has no stairs.
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 31 2019
At first he never liked the chair. Then he found out it was an antique.
After this, he chair-ished it for life.
π︎ 6
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︎ Feb 20 2019
π︎ 4
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︎ Aug 18 2019
The serial killer from Paris is being sent to the electric chair today.
And so today, the french fries.
π︎ 18
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︎ Sep 11 2018
Today, my arm got pinned between my wife's chest and the chair.
π︎ 8
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︎ Apr 12 2019
Someone asked me if the leather chair I was selling smells.
No, it doesn't I told them. It's a chair and doesn't have a nose.
π︎ 3
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︎ Aug 01 2019
I name all my farts 'the chair'...
That way I can always use the defense, "That was the chair"
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 29 2019
I donated a camp chair to the orchestra instrument drive.
I heard every symphony has a first chair.
π︎ 9
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︎ May 11 2019
Hey, did you hear about the semi that overturned and spilled all the rolling chairs onto the highway for several miles?
It was a widespread case of loose stools.
π︎ 3
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︎ May 08 2019
Have you heard about the scammy chair company?
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 29 2019
The guy in the wheel chair hates going to the courtroom
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 23 2019
What did the chair say to the other chair?
π︎ 6
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︎ Feb 16 2019
The βCβ and βHβ are important for a chair
Because without them youβll just be sitting on air
π︎ 13
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︎ Jan 01 2019
As I sat on my chair sipping my cup of tea, my son came out searching for me only to leave the room without seeing me.
As he left I exclaimed, "Man, this InvisibiliTEA is great!"
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 05 2019
The king's chair was lumpy and uncomfortable.
π︎ 16
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︎ Sep 14 2018
What time was it when the elephant sat in the chair?
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 16 2018
My wife walked in to see that our boys had built a fort in the living room. She shouted, ''PUT THOSE CHAIRS AND BEDSHEETS BACK!!"
I yelled, "YOU HEARD YOUR MOTHER!!" as I climbed out of fortβ¦
π︎ 16
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︎ Aug 08 2017
I kept telling my son the same joke while we were building chairs.
I was up in arms that he looked board, but I nailed it eventually.
π︎ 6
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︎ Aug 16 2018
What do you call the Grim Reaper's Father's favorite evil chair?
Death's Pa's Seat O' Doom
π︎ 3
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︎ Aug 22 2018
Why can't I buy occasional chairs and periodic tables in the same store?
π︎ 44
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︎ Jul 28 2015
I was at the garden centre the other day. I said, "Can I have three chairs for my patio please?"
He said, "Why, what's so special about it?"
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 19 2017
What did the table say to the chair?
π︎ 34
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︎ Feb 19 2017
To the man in the wheel chair that stole my camouflage jacket
You canβt run but you can hide
π︎ 24
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︎ May 28 2019
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