I need to speak with the chair
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ha-Ka-Tu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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What's the best chair for a fever?

A seat of minophen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vibemecha
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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I've come up with a list of the top 10 types of specialized chairs

Number 3 will shock you

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LinkRar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Why did the nurse get second chair in the symphony?

Because they were a Band-Aid

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anakin_I_am_on_PC
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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Have you heard of the man who survived the electric chair

I was shocked but he wasn't

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dazar0766gaming
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the chair say after it finished travelling around the world?

I went sofa away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyckt206
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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All the chairs in my town were stolen

And the people can’t stand it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElsonDaSushiChef
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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A man purposely crashed two passenger trains, killing hundreds. Why didn’t he get the electric chair?

Turns out he was a really bad conductor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unsettled_Beef121
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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What did the train engineer say when the electric chair didn’t work on him?

β€œI guess I’m just a good conductor”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lichiiiii
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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My friend was a chair upholstery technician but got the coronavirus. It took him out 2 weeks, but he's finally getting better...

He's recovering.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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My friend got caught trying to steal the most expensive chair in the world

and it was all because he was told to please take a seat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fireboy27gamer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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I can't believe they gave that engineer who wrecked the train in New York the electric chair. And he survived it!

I guess he just wasn't a very good conductor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/59boomer59
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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One of the legs of this chair is shorter than the others.

I'm trying to just be okay with it but if I'm being honest it just doesn't sit well with me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ewwgrossitskyle
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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My grandfather is really frustrated that he has to take the stair chair lift because of his age.

It’s driving him up the wall.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Looking for an easier way to get chopped spaghetti off the floor. (Under the high chair)

Because my current solution is not cutting it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/matcorn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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Why did the chair break when a plank fell on it?

It had no lumber support

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PinkAnenome
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the giant eat the chairs?

He wanted to make them into stools.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Socratio
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I have one thing to say to the man in the wheel chair that stole my camouflage jacket

You can hide, but you can’t run.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rendezv0uz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I found a really nice chair on sale the other day, but I wasn't sure it was worth buying

I decided to sit on it for a while and decide later

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πŸ‘€︎ u/waq_will
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
In a one story house the walls are blue, the chairs are blue, the floor is blue, the lights are blue, the living room is blue, the bedrooms are blue, the kitchen is blue, even the air has a blueish tint. What color are the stairs?

The house is ONE STORY it has no stairs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RICK-THE-STICk3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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At first he never liked the chair. Then he found out it was an antique.

After this, he chair-ished it for life.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/le_petit_nihilist
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I sat down in the barber's chair and said that I wanted to get a bowl cut. reddit.com/r/3amjokes/com…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bobby-Bobson
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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The serial killer from Paris is being sent to the electric chair today.

And so today, the french fries.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnnyZillion
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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Today, my arm got pinned between my wife's chest and the chair.

It was booby trapped.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tim4life
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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Someone asked me if the leather chair I was selling smells.

No, it doesn't I told them. It's a chair and doesn't have a nose.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigjeskid
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I name all my farts 'the chair'...

That way I can always use the defense, "That was the chair"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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I donated a camp chair to the orchestra instrument drive.

I heard every symphony has a first chair.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/centstwo
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
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Hey, did you hear about the semi that overturned and spilled all the rolling chairs onto the highway for several miles?

It was a widespread case of loose stools.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lameoldperson
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the scammy chair company?

I can’t stand for it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrPlay3r13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
🚨︎ report
The guy in the wheel chair hates going to the courtroom

He suffers in juries

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterCheng
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the chair say to the other chair?

My legs hurt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Rumfoord
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
🚨︎ report
The β€œC” and β€œH” are important for a chair

Because without them you’ll just be sitting on air

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πŸ‘€︎ u/closet_dad
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
As I sat on my chair sipping my cup of tea, my son came out searching for me only to leave the room without seeing me.

As he left I exclaimed, "Man, this InvisibiliTEA is great!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gigler198
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
The king's chair was lumpy and uncomfortable.

He wanted it throne out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What time was it when the elephant sat in the chair?

Time to get a new chair.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife walked in to see that our boys had built a fort in the living room. She shouted, ''PUT THOSE CHAIRS AND BEDSHEETS BACK!!"

I yelled, "YOU HEARD YOUR MOTHER!!" as I climbed out of fort…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2017
🚨︎ report
I kept telling my son the same joke while we were building chairs.

I was up in arms that he looked board, but I nailed it eventually.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GetFrostbyte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call the Grim Reaper's Father's favorite evil chair?

Death's Pa's Seat O' Doom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyCoolCelt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Why can't I buy occasional chairs and periodic tables in the same store?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jefuchs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2015
🚨︎ report
I was at the garden centre the other day. I said, "Can I have three chairs for my patio please?"

He said, "Why, what's so special about it?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StinkyWeezle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the table say to the chair?

Dinner's on me tonight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/akshat_b
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2017
🚨︎ report
To the man in the wheel chair that stole my camouflage jacket

You can’t run but you can hide

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atumanov55
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report

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