Terrified Puns

I was a little afraid of speed bumps too, but I’m slowly getting over them!

UPDATE: Thank you so much for all the upvotes and amazing responses, fellow Dad Joke lovers. You make the world a happier place! 🤩

I'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Therapist: You are?

Me: [Screams in horror]

Therapist: Oh, I see

Me: [Screams intensify]

Therapist: "Why?" Me: [screams]

"Mum!!! You're going to get us kicked out of Disney world. "

Because 2022 is 2020 too

Just thinking about them elevates my blood pressure

After all, all psychos have a silent p.

He said, “I hate to be the bear of bad news.”

You should take steps to avoid them

I come from a long line of fathers...

But my doctor just said B positive

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

Oh you are? I see. Why?

Me: Only sometimes.

“Are you?” I asked. My patent screamed. “Ohh, I see,” I said. He screamed even louder.

I guess he had no balls.

My wife says my fear's irrational.

Therapist: Tell me why?

Me: screams

Therapist: Tell me why

But I finally decided to grow a pear.

It's A Completely Irrational Fear

But she’s a housefly so it’s totally justified.

He went to his dad and said I had a nightmare. So the dad said tell me about it. Well I was on a train full of bombs. It was freight-ening

Everyday, she takes steps to avoid them.

I will start taking steps to avoid them.

I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them.

me: i'm terrified of random letters

therapist: you are?

me: [screams]

therapist: oh i see

me: [screaming intensifies]

I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.

Therapist: you are?

Me: [Screams]

Therapist: I see

I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.

I'm taking steps to avoid them.

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."

So I'm taking steps to avoid them

I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them

Me: I'm terrified of random letters.

Therapist: Are you?

Me: [screams]

Therapist: Oh I see.

Me: [screaming intensifies]

I am going to start taking steps to avoid them

So, I've started taking steps to avoid them.

I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them

I'm taking steps to avoid them.

Therapist: you are?

Me: [screams]

Therapist: I see.

Me: [screams again]

I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.

So I’m going to take steps to avoid them

So I take a few steps to avoid them.

I’m gonna start taking steps to avoid them

Im going to start taking steps to avoid them!

You know, I'm going to take steps to avoid them.

I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.