My mom was telling puns at dinner
My dad responded: alright punny, that's enough. It's my turn.
The groan from everyone was like an earthquake
What to you call a gentleman with bad hygiene that loves to tell puns?
I heard my friends dad likes to tell puns
You can't tell puns to a kleptomaniac...
They take things literally.
(Free irony included, this joke is shamelessly stolen)
I really enjoy telling puns.....
That is just how eye roll.
I went to a dadjoke contest, but the crowd turned on me when I started telling puns...
I guess you could say there were some punintended consequences.
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
My wife keeps telling me to stop pretending to be butter.
I want to tell a vaccine joke
My dad constantly tells me I'll never amount to anything because I always procrastinate.
I'll show him. Just you wait.
Edit: Goodness, that blew up. My first awards, too!
I want to send out individual replies to thank everyone who gave me an award. I might do it later.
The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's has been telling lies. "
I replied, "Tell him, he's bloody good. I don't have any kids."
Pirate Ship Captain: I am desperate. Can someone tell me how to write the number 2 in Roman numerals?
One thing I'll never do is tell dad jokes
My girlfriend said :- You got vasectomy without even telling me . Are you serious ?
I said :- I am not kidding you
Dad, can you tell me the fastest way to the ocean?
I can’t believe I’m being evicted for telling a joke about a llama
I guess alpaca my bags and leave
I have a computer that does the exact opposite of what you tell it to do
it talks so if it's being annoying just say "open down"
I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes
My doctor says it’s terminal.
Boss: Tell me about suzanne Me: *takes a drag of cigarette* ah, the one that got away
Boss: You're a zoo keeper, none of them should get away
My wife was telling me I am of average intelligence.
A buddy of mine named his dog “5 Miles” so he could tell people he walked 5 miles
But today he ran over 5 Miles
I tried to tell my vaccinated friend a COVID joke.
Everyone keeps telling me there's 26 letters in the alphabet, not 25
What do you call a Mom who tells Dad jokes?
Someone tried to tell me a rabbit joke
I told them I don't carrot all for rabbit jokes
How can you tell how heavy a red hot chilli pepper is?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
I used to like telling Dad jokes.
I named my dog 6miles. So I can tell people I walk 6miles every day!
Did I ever tell the story of the time I went to the seafood disco?
How can you tell the gender of an ant?
Drop it in water. If its sinks, girl ant. If it floats, buoyant
I know a good one joke pizza but I hate to tell it
I could tell this guy is feeling a little lightheaded.
LPT: If you are trying to stay in a hotel that’s completely booked, just tell the receptionist that your name is “improvement”.
Because there’s always room for improvement.
What group of people like telling dad jokes?
A fisherman came to me telling me he had just reeled in the biggest fish hes ever seen, and that he was going to give it to me for free.
I asked him, 'whats the catch?'
My wife tells me I have 2 major faults,
I don't listen - and something else.
Why can't you tell jokes around Easter eggs?
They'll crack up!
^(Happy Easter everyone!)
I'm going to tell you all a story about strawberries.....
How do you tell a penis apart from testicles?
There's vas deferens between them.
Why should you never tell a joke in Jonestown?
Everyone dies after a punch line.
I tell dad jokes but I don't have any kids.
Was gonna tell you a time travelling joke but..
The great thing about 'reddit' is that it tells you when you've finished reading it
Dune tell me you don't like this pun
You all tell dad jokes in here....
But do you know when a joke is a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
kleptomaniacs and dadjokes
Q: Why can't you tell puns to a kleptomaniac?
A: They always take things literally.
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