One word
Scooby Dubai Do
I am TOADally content now
You look for the fresh prints!
There was literally nothing Dubai.
Nothing, because it's a free country
Because when John Cena visits UK, EU can't see him.
Ba dum tss
Queen receives BJ
Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.
They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
I heard parents named their children lance a lot.
First post please don't kill me
Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!
Japan.
That was the punchline
Mo-roccan.
This joke provided by dads giving babies a bottle in a rocking chair early in the morning.
He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.
Because he wanted the right to bear arms.
A USB
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
...cause those hips don’t lie
..to find exactly 32 of them.
With a cowculator!
Every time I ask someone, they tell me "it's private."
Capital of Ireland
It's Dublin everyday
But people in Abu Dhabi do.
And then you will all be sorry.
With a sea saw!
Okay, Biden.
Bob
whoops wrong sub
Incidentally, Free Masons are not what they sound like.
Wait. Sorry, wrong sub.
It can write other things too.
UNEEDCHEF
Women chest are divided
"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."
Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.
"Because you're the largest re-tailer in the world!"
His condition is stable now
They’re both Paris sites
Outlaws are wanted
They took one of their prized possessions—The Star of The Empire, one of the worlds largest diamonds—to a famous yet discreet pawn shop outside of Las Vegas to ask for a loan.
The pawnbroker said "So I talked to my buddy who is an expert in diamonds to get his opinion. I can give you $200,000 for it."
Prince Harry said "You must be joking, I had this appraised at nearly 2 million pounds! Don't you know who I am, I'm a prince! My mother is Queen of The United Kingdom, Elizabeth II!!"
The pawnbroker said "$200k, take it or leave it. When you wish to pawn a star, makes no difference who you are..."
Dim sum.
Because Lisa Kudrow.
They supported The Doors.
