Dan Croll - Sweet Disarray imgur.com/CZ5r25x
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Cardboard_Chef
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 03 2021
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With all hope lost, The Lone loco bandito fan wallows in his sorrows; knowing that the state of Cinemassacre is in complete and utter disarray. All that is in his mind now, is the sweet release of being banned by Ryanโ€™s Tripods. yet ,something is different, almost as if TIME was beginning to set in youtu.be/OveCLvwDqrM
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SNOS54
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 12 2021
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Northern lands more unified, the Southern lands are more in disarray and all the main powers are trying to get a piece of that sweet, sweet, middle earth
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JustAnotherUserDude
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 13 2020
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Does anyone know why Sweet Disarray is so expensive on vinyl? Itโ€™s going for like ยฃ60-ยฃ90 on eBay and Amazon????
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Hebrew-Kearns
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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Sweet Disarray released 5 years ago today
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/someotherjosh
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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For my cake day I wanted to share my sweet little boy, General Disarray. Unfortunately The General is no longer with us and I wanted to share his adorableness with reddit. imgur.com/a/ybOQc
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/neon_purple_pandas
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 13 2015
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Discussion on Dan Croll's latest album "Sweet Disarray"

This album has sort of snuck on me honestly. I listened to the singles that were released earlier, Compliment Your Soul and From Nowhere, and while I liked Compliment Your Soul I wasn't entirely sold on how pop-oriented it was and From Nowhere didn't particularly impress me. I've since gotten concussed and found plenty of time to listen to albums I missed out on, including this one and I have to say it's got some really quality songs on it. The weakest track for me was the titular one, and even that wasn't bad it just wasn't memorable. I don't really think it's even my AOTY so far (s/o to Benji and Cilvia Demo) but I enjoyed it for what it was. Upbeat indie-pop, more on the side of pop than indie. It came out on the first of the month and haven't seen any discussions on it so far, so I was wondering what y'all thought about it. Did you like it? Did you hate it? Why? I would honestly love to hear someone thrash it, give me a different perspective.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Lumiro
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 23 2014
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Dan Croll - Sweet Disarray (2014) youtube.com/watch?v=icmpuโ€ฆ
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Eli_Otterholt
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 13 2016
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Dan Croll - Sweet Disarray Album [Indie/electronic] (2014) One of my favorite albums. open.spotify.com/album/2qโ€ฆ
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/pineappleundies
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 24 2014
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Dan Croll - Sweet Disarray [1500x1500]
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/felix1429
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 27 2015
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What is everybody's favourite song from 'Sweet Disarray'?

I would say 'Complement Your Soul' but it's too good so cannot be counted as a "song" ~ so i guess my favourite song is 'Can You Hear Me':)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/KimHyo53
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 22 2015
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Dan Croll -- Sweet Disarray (The Mahogany Session) [Acoustic] (2014) youtube.com/watch?v=icmpuโ€ฆ
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AirFranke
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 12 2014
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Dan Croll - Sweet Disarray [Indie Folk/Chillout] (2014) youtube.com/watch?v=AFrWNโ€ฆ
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/raddit-bot
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 25 2015
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I read 30 japanese novels this year. Here's what i thought.

Thought i'd share some thoughts on all the books i've read this year and perhaps we can turn this into a thread where everyone posts some of their favorite books and we all get some nice recommendations for the new year. :)

I'll keep my blurbs for each book short and sort them roughly from favorite to least favorite, so you can easily tl;dr this.

Started the year with two goals: Switch to paper books and read 20 pages a day. Ended up with something closer to 30 a day and started targeting 30 finished books for this year, which i just hit today. Big old stack of books.

Anyway, here's the list. Please do go ahead and share your own thoughts/recommendations in the comments. :)

ไบบ้–“ๅคฑๆ ผ - Dazai Osamu - โ˜…โ˜…โ˜…โ˜…โ˜…

The most-sold japanese novel of all time. Some of those feelings Dazai shares, about his childhood, about his disconnect with the world in general, i found to be incredibly on point. The whole thing is sort of pseudo-autobiographical, much like Mishima's ไปฎ้ขใฎๅ‘Š็™ฝ, so he uses a different name, twists his own life around a bit, but it's still about him of course. And i've probably never read a more personally relatable book than this one. Not even so much regarding the greater context of his life, but the many small details that i have never seen anyone else express as accurately as Dazai.

Language wise Dazai tends to be easier than Mishima or Akutagawa, but there is a bunch of poetry later on that is pretty tricky.

่‰ใฎ่Šฑ - Fukunaga Takehiko - โ˜…โ˜…โ˜…โ˜…โ˜…

I only bought this because of the pretty cover (like most of these lol), but it's a close contender for my favorite of the year. A terminally ill man at a sanatorium tells the story of two crucial relationships in his life. The moods and sceneries this conjures up are honestly more vivid than any book reading experience i ever had. The first half in particular, set in a coastal town around the Izu peninsula is just magical. It deals, like a bunch of these, with the pressure of the war both hindering and accelerating certain decisions and relationships, and there are some great bits on faith and christianity as well. Heart-rending melancholia somewhere between romance, friendship and solitude.

If there's one recommendation you should take from this list, it's this one.

ๅฐใ•ใ„ใŠใ†ใก - Nakajima Kyoko - โ˜…โ˜…โ˜…โ˜…โ˜…

A ๅฅณไธญ, live-in maid, recounting her life during the war.

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/_Minos
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 31 2021
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Brief Historical Explainer: Who Neil Young is, why he was important, and his political slant.

Okay, so Neil Young recently demanded that either Joe Rogan's content should be pulled from Spotify, or his music would be pulled from Spotify, because statements like: [insert reasonable discussion about the vaccines and mandates] are totally unacceptable.

Listening to The Lotus Eaters Podcast, I discovered that apparently, you youngin's forgot who Neil Young is. Then I realized: "Oh shit, 1972 was 50 years ago!" and I realized that I should probably explain some things about Neil Young.

So, Neil Young was a very popular Rock and Roll musician in the 1960's Counter-Culture movement. He is the typical, 60's Leftist hippy fighting the system man. As such, his music was very political. This means he was basically a very Left-wing, anti-War, anti-Capitalism, activist.

Some of his most popular music was extremely political, though most people kind of lost the message. Three significant examples are:

Chicago - released by the group Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young in 1971 is a piece of music paying hommage to the desire for the "Justice Democrats" and other Leftist & Progressive to protest the 1968 Democratic Presidential Nomination, where Lyndon Johnson & the Democratic Establishment were planning on pushing their chosen candidate (Hubert Humphrey) as the Democratic Nominee. It's a long story about why this is important, so there will be a bullet at the end explaining.

Ohio - Released by the group Crosby, stills, Nash, and Young in 1970 about one month after the incident in question. It is probably the most famous protest song in American history excluding Yankee Doodle Dandy (technically). It is in reference to the Kent State Shootings that took place at Kent State University in Kent, Ohio. This incident stemmed from many days of anti-war protests by anti-war, progressive, and communist activists at Kent State University, which had resulted in the burning down of the KSU ROTC building that nearly killed many cadets as an act of political terrorism against the US military due to the continuation of the Vietnam War. In response to the arson, the governor of Ohio deployed Ohio National Guard troops to both Kent, Ohio & KSU to end the protests due to the violence. Unfortunately, this action precipitated more protests. During one of these protests that was ordered to be ended by Ohio National Guard troops, one of the units mis-maneuvered, got cut o

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Gizortnik
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 28 2022
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Doors of Stone Prologue - A Silence of Three Parts

It was still night in the middle of Newarre. The Waystone Inn lay in silence, and it was a silence of three parts.

The most obvious part was a vast, echoing quiet made by things that were lacking. If the horizon had shown the slightest kiss of blue, the town would be stirring. There would be the crackle of kindling, the gentle murmur of water simmering for porridge or tea. The slow, dewy hush of folk walking through the grass would have brushed the silence off the front steps of houses with the indifferent briskness of an old birch broom. If Newarre had been large enough to warrant watchmen, they would have trudged and grumbled the silence away like an unwelcome stranger. If there had been musicโ€ฆ but no, of course there was no music. In fact there were none of these things, and so the silence remained.

In the basement of the Waystone, there was the smell of coal smoke and seared iron. Everywhere was the evidence of hurried work: tools scattered, bottles left in disarray. A spill of acid hissed quietly to itself, having slopped over the edge of a wide stone bowl. Nearby, the bricks of a tiny forge made small, sweet, pinging noises as they cooled. These tiny forgotten noises added a furtive silence to the larger, echoing one. They bound it together, like tiny stitches of bright brass thread, the low drumming counterpoint a tabor beats behind a song.

The third silence was not an easy thing to notice. If you listened long enough, you might begin to feel it in the chill copper of the Waystoneโ€™s locks, turned tight to keep the night at bay. It lurked in the thick timbers of the door and nestled deep in the buildingโ€™s grey foundation stones. And it was in the hands of the man who had designed the Inn, as he slowly undressed himself beside a bare and narrow bed.

The man had true-red hair, red as flame. His eyes were dark and weary, and he moved with the slow care of a man who is badly hurt, or tired, or old beyond his years.

The Waystone was his, just as the third silence was his. This was appropriate, as it was the greatest silence of the three, holding the others inside itself. It was deep and wide as autumnโ€™s ending. It was heavy as a great river-smooth stone. It was the patient, cut-flower sound of a man who is waiting to die.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bluenomads
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 14 2021
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I've spent roughly 40 hours over the past week making the most thorough and exhaustive settlement builder I've ever seen. I'm now able to create entire cities in an hour! Try it out!

After years of searching for resources all over the internet, I have decided to try and make my own all-in-one settlement building guide and template. This is an amalgamation of 4 years of DMing knowledge, countless online forums, and bits and bobs from a million different D&D inspirations over time. Hopefully it's an enjoyable, thought-provoking read as well as a great resource for your world building needs.

Special thanks to u/World_of_Ideas for their epic post from 4 years ago that still comes up in Google search as a top result because it's so ridiculously awesome. I've used it so many times over the years, and I'm happy to be able to give it credit today. My list of buildings wouldn't be nearly as complete if it weren't for this fantastic post.

Special thanks to Guy from How to be a Great GM, because his videos have helped me get to a point where I'm confident enough to contribute to this community. He has put so much thought and effort into the intricacies and minutia that go into world building. He truly is a master of the craft.

And special thanks to DnDSpeak.com for this amazing list that I've used about a thousand times over the years.

This was specifically designed for Notion as a template, but I've copied, pasted, and reformatted it here so anyone can use it. Honestly though, if you're a DM and you haven't tried Notion... goddamn, you're gonna love it. It's free to use and it'll change the way you organize your campaign data. If you already have an account, here is the link to download the template. Naturally, it's a heck of a lot prettier and much better formatted there. If you don't have an account, just copy and paste everything below this paragraph and toss it into whatever text editor you feel like using. Or you can use [this link](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-bOZKEDt0-xOEpsUoAJbCgwMYkUCnqY9nMiEQQqC4QY/edit?usp=sh

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/EroniusJoe
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 27 2022
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The Cryopod to Hell 338: Tension and Longing

Author note: The Cryopod to Hell is a Reddit-exclusive story with over three years of editing and refining. As of this post, the total rewrite is 1,389,000+ words long! For more information, check out the link below:

What is the Cryopod to Hell?

Join the Cryoverse Discord server!

Here's a list of all Cryopod's chapters, along with an ePub/Mobi/PDF version!

Want to stay up to date on TCTH? Subscribe to Cryopodbot!

...................................

(Previous Part)

(Part 001)

...

Jason teleports himself and Belial back to the edge of the Fortress of Retribution, just inside its crystalline walls, but away from the populated areas. He observes the inside of the Hatoraxia for a few moments using his Wordsmithing and listens to the conversation between Kordonis and Miikil while his mind-wife works in secret.

"Alright," Phoebe says. "I've updated the files. You should be able to transform all the existing 'Spatial Pylons' into their updated configuration."

These pylons, the same ones she made during the Stormbringer Invasion to 'harden' the space around Tarus II and make it impervious to Warpers opening portals, now sit in hundreds of pre-selected locations around the world of Tarus II, all casting a net of spatial-strengthening magic to envelop the planet.

Thanks to her technical expertise, Phoebe adds a new function to them, one which requires a mass-update of all their internal workings.

Jason nods, while listening to Kordonis's words. "Alright. Thanks, honey."

Belial raises an eyebrow when she hears Jason say that, but immediately realizes he's talking to his mind-wife and not her.

"What's up?" Belial asks. "You planning something?"

"The Volgrim came here ahead of schedule," Jason answers, "But I had Phoebe prep a possible solution to them in case they ever were to reveal themselves. While we chatted with that Kordonis fellow, she finished her work. One moment."

Jason inhales deeply and closes his eyes. He focuses his mind, reaching into th

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Klokinator
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
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SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/anywhereiroa
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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I made it a year (plus six days now) ... if anyone's curious, here are my observations from the past 371 days binge-free

I really wanted to make this post last week, right as I was going to hit my one-year sober anniversary, but my body had other plans. I was incredibly sick (still kind of battling it, honestly) and my head was in a fog. Which is funny, of course, because for years I loathed posting here since it meant I was doing something wrong. I'd only do it when I relapsed. I'd fucked up, and posting here was my penance. It's how I dealt with the guilt and the shame and the unbearable burden of simply existing in the wake of a week-long booze binge. That is, until my body felt well enough to start the cycle all over again after a week or two. Honestly, I'm not even sure what the point of this post is except to serve as something autobiographical and vaguely hopeful, although I'm not sure how I'll wind up there in the end. Still, here we go:

For most people here, I probably don't need to go into the specifics, although I do find them illustrative in some sense. I was trapped in a brutal cycle of binging, recovering, abstaining and then binging again a week or so later. Sure, I tried to tell myself it'd be different this time -- I'll only buy a pint of whiskey, and I'll start at 6 PM, which isn't long enough to get TOO drunk! -- but all that did was prime the pump. By the time the next 3-5 days were done, my apartment had a few empty handles of whiskey and dozens of empty bottles of Coke Zero, plus all the trash you can imagine from ordering in constantly. My kitchen wasn't the only room that suffered, either: the entire place fell into a state of disarray. Washing sweat-soaked sheets, unclogging bile-stained drains, vacuuming food that fell on the floor during my attempts at eating ... all of it became part of the ritual.

It's probably needless to say that my life suffered as a result of my addiction, too. Unfortunately, the main areas were ... all of them. Work, family, friendships, relationships, physical and mental health, financial security, you name it. Those things could all be put on hold because what my brain REALLY wanted was the sweet, ephemeral bliss of those first 90 minutes. In exchange for that golden hour and a half, any sacrifice was worth making.

Well, almost any sacrifice, I guess. I know recovery is supposed to be for yourself, not others, but it wasn't until I met the most wonderful person I know that the tide finally shifted. Her love, her support, her partnership and friendship ... they were major factors in getting my recovery to stick.

Sure,

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ProbablyTooWordy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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[FS] [US - Mi] Lab clean out (r210, r610, r510, compellent, DL360P, DL120)

Hey homelabbers,

Itโ€™s a sad day, I am liquidating almost all of my lab. Building a new home, and this stuff canโ€™t come with. Id prefer local deals (local is Grand Rapids) as I do not have packaging material for these servers, but will consider shipping if it comes to it. Prices are my educated guess, OBO, and all offers will be considered. Will make a sweet deal if you take the whole lot!

All pictures are here I apologize for the photos as my lab is in all sorts of disarray. If you need more/different pictures let me know.

R210 ii - Qty: 2

  • E3-1220L
  • 16GB RAM
  • iDRAC Enterprise
  • Rails Included
  • Bezel Included
  • $100 Each

HP DL120 G7 LFF

  • Yes I realize this has a low amount of RAM. At one point I had it maxed out and it was a GREAT NAS. I needed more drives so had to move to the R510 and this turned into a backup NAS
  • E3-1220
  • 4GB RAM
  • iLO
  • Dual PSU
  • Rails Included
  • All caddies included
  • $50

HP DL360p G8 SFF

  • 2x - E5-2640
  • 144GB RAM
  • Dual PSU
  • P420i Controller
  • 2x - 300GB 10k SAS drives
  • All hard drive caddies included
  • iLO
  • Rails included
  • $225

Compellent SC8000 - Qty: 2

  • These are compute only nodes and have no storage, great if you have an array that can expose storage or you can throw pci storage such as nvme like I did.
  • 2x E5-2640
  • 64GB RAM
  • iDRAC Enterprise
  • Dual PSU
  • Rails Included
  • Bezel included
  • $100 Each

R610 Pending Payment

  • 2x - E5504
  • 32GB RAM
  • Dual PSU
  • No Rails
  • 2x - 300GB 10k SAS drives
  • $50

R510 LFF 12 + 2 Bay Pending payment

  • 2x - X5670
  • 48 GB RAM
  • iDRAC Enterprise
  • Dual PSU
  • Rails Included
  • 6 Caddies will be included
  • $200
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/McNuggetsRGud
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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9 less obvious signs of an abusive relationship (TW: SUICIDE)

Edit: the number formatting is off for some reason, I don't post on Reddit often so not sure how to fix it.. Sorry ladies!

I process my emotions through writing and began creating this list as a reminder to myself as to why I left my last relationship. This post is long because I used very specific examples from my last relationship for each point. Just wanted to share in hopes this could help others too!

  1. You can't love yourself and him at the same time. I couldn't choose to love myself over my ex because he demanded every ounce of attention and adoration I could muster up. So I loved him instead, and gave many pieces of myself away in the process.

  2. You give exponentially more than you recieve. I felt guilty for feeling really resentful of my ex the last few months we were together. I couldn't put my finger on the why until recently. It's because I gave up so much, while he gained so much from our relationship. I quit nursing school, left my home, cut off family members and friends who didn't like him, moved to a completely different city, quit my job, and lost my sanity to such a degree that I thought I was the abuser.

In return he got financial stability (I paid all his bills for a good chunk of time), help getting off drugs, help repairing his broken family relationships, a phone and a laptop I paid for, a car, any sexual act he desired, a safe home, unlimited emotional labor, his court fees paid for (the only reason he avoided jail time), someone to make appointments for him, a live-in maid (me).. the list could go on.

  1. You feel worse and worse as the relationship continues. One of the last straws for me was feeling extremely suicidal. This was highly upsetting to me because my sister killed herself 2 years ago. My parents are very damaged from that and have explicitly made me promise I'd never do what she did. I never thought I'd feel suicidal after seeing all the damage her death caused. But abusers have a way of getting in by any means necessary.

  2. Quick, forced intimacy. The first day I met my ex, he told me he loved me. Within a week or so he wanted to hear the entire story surrounding my sister's death so he could "help" me. I was very vulnerable at that point because it had only been 6 months. So I made the mistake of explaining all of that trauma to him. And his response is something I'll never forget. "Well she wanted to die, and she did. So why are you upset that she got what she wanted?" HUGE red flag- it exposed his c

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mythrowaway9684
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 01 2022
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[For Sale] Some OOP indie records under jacked up Discogs scalper prices - Dumbo Gets Mad, The Black Keys, Coldplay, Guster, ABBA, King Gizzard, Empire of the Sun & more!

Priced to be under discogs median all around. Shipping is a flat $5 for any amount of records, prefer to ship to Continental US only but if you're international PM me and we can try and work something out. All records come with a Big Fudge poly outer because it makes 'em look purdy.

Artist Album Condition (Record/Sleeve) Notes Price
Dumbo Gets Mad Thank You Neil M/NM Unplayed new copy, with shrink attached. Record taken out of sleeve but unplayed. Italian psych-pop group, limited run of 300. $55
The Black Keys Brothers, Deluxe 10th Anniversary Remaster, 9x 7' vinyl NM/NM First 3 7' have been played a handful of times. Sound quality and packaging design is impeccable, a noticeable upgrade in fidelity over more standard 12' releases. Each disk is in a anti-static poly inner added by me. Includes poster and picture book about the album. Outer case has hype sticker attached in top left corner, and the heat reactive ink is still 100% intact (some people say theirs wore off fast, suckers.) Definitive version of this album to own if you're a fan, just hasn't ended up getting much playtime from me. $50 SOLD
Coldplay Music of the Spheres M/M Limited "Infinity Station Edition" vinyl, alt packaging and cover. Sealed and in perfect condition, recycled vinyl color unknown. $40
Guster Easy Wonderful NM/NM Rainbow Splatter vinyl, one of the best looking records I own. Pressing sounds decent, side A played once. $40
ABBA Voyage NM/NM Limited White webstore exclusive vinyl, side A played once. Includes poster and postcard. $35
Junior Kimbrough First Recordings NM/NM Clear and Black Smoke "Salt and Pepper" Fat Possum records exclusive vinyl, limited to 200. Includes two new alt takes previously unreleased. $32.50
Body Diamond Great Good OK Fine EP, 10' vinyl VG+/VG+ Minor signs of wear on the sleeve and light cosmetic marking on the vinyl, but a true VG+ kind of record. Played sparingly and in great condition overall. $27.50
Empire of the Sun Ice on the Dune VG+/VG+ Outer sleeve has some minor sings of wear on the corners but overall in nice condition. Vinyl has some cosmetic scratches on either side, but none that cause any major issues during playback. Includes printed inner sleeve, but the glue is wearing off on top and there is a 2' seem split on the bottom. Album includes the fucking banger that is "DNA." $27.50 SOLD
Dan Croll Sweet Disarray
... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Beythoven
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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Just because it's a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CzarcasmRules
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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Patriots, a 1000 Twitter profiles were lost to bring this truth to you. A written insider account from the heart of the Cabal (Hope you enjoy :)

The following events took place at an uncertain time, right around the first rollout of Covid Vaccines.

Cabal HQ at an undisclosed location deep beneath the streets of Washington

Seemed only weeks ago, the pharmaceutical companies announced the release of the Covid 19 vaccines and the rollout was slowly starting to take place across the US.

The usual hustle and bustle of the base ignited into a searing white frenzy of calls and meetings.

Even the habitually level headed and quiet Grand Master was now screaming into his cellphone:

"ABSOLUTELY not, are you insane?! No! No discretionary spending, we need to cut all costs until we figure out our next step.

Yeah, the death toll WAS amazing.

"WAS!" - he foamed at the mouth as another blood vessel burst in his already bloodshot eyes.

We caught a lucky break with this virus. HELL, I wish we could've come up with it ourselves..

But check the fucking news!

Not only have we grossly underestimated those greedy pharmaceutical assholes, the vaccination is now in full force!

If we are to hit the numbers we projected by the end of the year, we need all funds on stand by till SOMEONE figures out how we plan on killing another few million now that Covid is soon history!"

"Sir.. SIR!" "The Board needs you in the conference room!"

His hot 20-something secretary was tugging at his sleeve, urging his eyes to the open board room where all the highest ranking Cabal officials were already sitting around the richly engraved, massive mahogany table.

"I'll be right in Magdalene"

*not bad for a 2000 year old woman*, Hillary's crazy to avoid the Juice* he thought as his eyes followed her into the room, her long legs and shapely waist accentuated by her tight pencil skirt.

It was not her appearance he enjoyed however, it was the fond memory of claiming her from his long dead foe and the pain that never left her since.

However, he could have sworn he almost saw a glint of smile aborted on her face. Was she at ease? Impossible.

"Look, I gotta go.

Call me in couple of months or when you have something plausible but for now Project Rho is dead, got it? No big spending until further notice!

He slammed shut his phone.

Adjusted his tie, took a deep breath to settle himself and made sure he was smiling again, a good natured veneer he wore like a mask.

Or a weapon.

As he entered the large room, abuzz with noise and multiple frantic voices shouting in whispers he strode confidently to his

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Illustrious_You3058
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Leckzsluthor
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 02 2022
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I heard that by law you have to turn on your headlights when itโ€™s raining in Sweden.

How the hell am I suppose to know when itโ€™s raining in Sweden?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/justshtmypnts
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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Puns make me numb

Mathematical puns makes me number

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tadashi4
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
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Petition to ban rants from this sub

Ants donโ€™t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/drak0ni
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 24 2022
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So my mom is getting her foot cut off today.. (really)

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Slimybirch
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 27 2022
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Iโ€™ve got this disease where I canโ€™t stop making airport puns.

The doctor says it terminal.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/xIR0NPULSE
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 28 2022
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French fries werenโ€™t cooked in France.

They were cooked in Greece.

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/frexyincdude
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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Why does Spider-Man's calendar only have 11 months?

He lost May

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Toku-Nation
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
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You've been hit by
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mordrathe
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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I'm sick of you guys posting dumb wordplay in here for awards and upvotes.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/diggitygiggitycee
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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My 4 year oldest favourit joke, which he very proudly memorized and told all his teachers.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/smoffatt34920
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies ๐Ÿ˜‚

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Vegetable-Acadia
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PsychedeIic_Sheep
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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My wife left me because I couldnโ€™t stop doing impressions of pasta

And now Iโ€™m cannelloni

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bluestratmatt
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Eoussama
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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Steve JOBS would have made a better President than Donald Trump

But thatโ€™s comparing apples to oranges

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ok-Ingenuity4838
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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I just flew in from Chernobyl

And boy are my arms legs.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JhopkinsWA
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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My 7 year old daughter just told me this one. I'm so proud. What did the duck say when he bought chapstick?

Put it on my bill

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BigRedHusker_X
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
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So 2 trees got arrested in the town I live...

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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When I was a single man, I had loads of free time.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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