My buddy Linux would always lead the lineup with a bunt and steal second shortly after. And no matter how bad I wanted to swing for the fences, if the batter before me didn't make first; coach would turn to me and say......

UBUNTU.

SurPise!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MatthewLee1980
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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What did the potato get for their birthday?

A sur-fries.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShampionEGM
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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How did the mean turtle cross the road?

Slowly but surly

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthLukas71
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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My Spanish friend was awfully surly today...

But then things started looking up, so he became nortely.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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Me: Sees a neon sign that’s turned off...

Hey everyone, check out that neooff sign!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sloppyblowjobs69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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I'm a street performer at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival. I tell punny jokes there, thought you'd enjoy them.

The King is in love with the Spanish Armada, in fact you could say he warships it.

I got into a fight with a group of jesters, I escaped by going for the juggler.

I recently read "Gulliver's Travels" it was a Swift read.

Have you read the book about traveling through hell? It's a Dante-ing read.

Q: How many animals can you fight into the Lord High Sheriff's tights? A: Ten piggies, two calves, a rooster and an ass.

Vikings raided the royal cheese supply, they left nothing behind but de Brie.

I met a wizard, I told him he looked like a mana action.

The unskilled mason forget to put a water supply in the new castle. He did not keep well.

The angry archer was so surly he had everyone convinced he was a cross bowman.

The failed stone cutter also lost his job as a bounty hunter. He could never find his quarry.

The nun kept spilling sacramental wine on herself. She made a bad habit of it.

The pope enjoys chocolate on his boat. He like sailing indulgences.

The pope loves summer, they say he is infallible.

Two fae fell in love. They keep fauning over each other.

The knight suffered from boils, he had to get them lanced.

Why did the wood nymph use some much lotion? Because she had dryad skin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kbdekker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
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I unexpectedly won an award while traveling the coastal cliffs of California.

It was a Big Sur prize.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coledot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
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dadjoked my wife on birthday weekend

My wife went to the local pie shop today to get some pies for my birthday dessert, when she asked if i wanted to see the pies I said

"you don't want it to be a sur-pies?"

she was not a fan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gst86
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2014
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