I couldn't believe my friend when he said he sterile...

I said, "no kidding?!"

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
You are like sterile bacteria

Uncultured

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Igknightor1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
The Mars rovers have to be sterile before being sent to the planet to prevent cross contamination. Just one germ and they must clean the spaceship again...

The whole mission must be scrubbed.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you sterilize pottery?

Vase-ctomy.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ToonyCream
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Son: Dad! Why are you drinking urine!

Dad: It’s not URine it’s MYine!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tgc2005
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sterile priest?

Pasteurized.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Derpyfish129
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2015
🚨︎ report
Got a vasectomy earlier this week. Can't masturbate for a while so I have lots of free time for dad jokes.

Seems like a vas improvement so far.

The urologist told me that I need to use an athletic supporter for 3 to 7 days following the procedure but he also said not to ejaculate for at least a week so what exactly am I supposed to do with this cheerleader in my basement?

Speaking of birth control, what's the difference between permanent female sterilization and a Russian bakery? Well, one's a tubal ligation, the other's a Ruble pie station.

My greatest regret in all this is that I can no longer dress up for Halloween as a pirate and carrying around a sign that says, "Ask me what I use to convey sperm from my testicle to my urethra," for the sake of replying, "A vas, matey!"

Look, these are hard to come up with and my nads are sore. Give me something to make the wife groan that sexy, "why did I marry you" groan that we all love.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/neverthesame2x
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2017
🚨︎ report
How to fight mosquitoes and crime

Some cities plan to fight mosquitoes by releasing swarms of sterile male mosquitoes, which don't bite, and can reduce future generations of mosquitoes. That's a good idea and I hope it works well.

The governor of Kentucky plans to fight crime by having prayer groups go to high-crime neighborhoods to pray there.

Those two ideas give me an idea for fighting crime even better: Release swarms of praying mantises.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/khv90
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Dadjoke alert on the World wide web.

http://www.tuaw.com/2014/03/14/a-nice-sterile-eye-pad/?ncid=rss_truncated

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Verapamil123
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.