Iron
It was riveting.
Sparky!
He says it's very riveting
It's called He Who Smelt it Dealt it
A gallon of water. Butane is lighter fluid.
No ? Let metal you
They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.
Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.
As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.
They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.
Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?
They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.
"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".
They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.
But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.
The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.
And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!
Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?
"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"
In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and
... keep reading on reddit ➡In other words, a pedi-file.
Held together with ark welding.
Instakilogram
but my co-workers did not like me. They said I smelt badly.
.. just need to iron out the details.
Otherwise, it metal the sub's criteria.
Wife: I got a free lunch today for watching a presentation on galvanized steel
Me: I hope they talk about joining a bunch of steel sheets together. That would be riviting.
His welding is tomorrow and it’s with a fe-male. Apparently he was steel a bachelor and Tonys Spark led to an impromptu proposal and welding.
There once was a greedy ore mining magnate who wished that everything he touched would turn into iron. He was careful to always wear gloves except when making huge loads of ore, except for one day when a mosquito landed on his knee. Not thinking, the magnate slapped his leg with his exposed hand. His knee immediately became metallic and the sudden change to his blood pressure caused almost instantaneous death.
Later in the morgue the Coroner noted that it was a classic example of situational iron knee.
As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the backdoor
Sadly though, it never gained any traction.
It's riveting
Deep in the villain’s super secret base, he noticed that his 10” concrete filled steel walls looked bare. He asked his minions why was there no large, artistic rendering of his terrifying logo hanging behind his desk.
His minions replied, “We’ve tried everywhere, but we’ve been unable to find a sketchy artist.”
How do you sleep at night
That was a nice Chain Reaction!
It was riveting.
Because even when they're broken, they're steel drums
Correct answer: A potential fire-hazard...
Now I’m hot water with the Japanese mafia
(Saw on another subreddit, it belonged here)
that he decided to steel it
All the files were deleted.
It was riveting!
I was stoked
Wooden start!
only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
They are alloys.
It's riveting
He had nerfs of steel
You sheet metal
He believes in the strengths of Asgard
It wood glue but the branches wooden stick
... and the first scene (the birth of Superman) when the woman is screaming in pain my dad remarks " See, it hurts because he is made out of steel."
A frajewel
During a scene where a wandering and shirtless Superman takes someone's clothes from a random clothesline...
Me: Wait a sec, Superman doesn't steal!
Dad: Sure he does. Why do you think this movie is called "Man of Steal"?
Carrying in groceries from the car and my wife had a large bag of ice. I had one hand free and offered to take something, so she put the bag on my shoulder, to which I replied, "Come on, don't give me the cold shoulder." Her: "ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
It was stainless steel
But I guess they are steel around.
I said "no, I've already got two"
It was a steel
But thi silvery from one post to the next.
Irony
Edit: Quality puns in here folks, keep it up! Make your dads proud!
Me: You got the goods?
Dealer: I have an alloy of iron and carbon for only $1.
Me: My, what a steel!
Guy: Hey, wanna hear my joke?
Boxer: I dunno, man. People always say I ruin their punchline.
Teacher: What are the four components of DNA?
Student: Actually, there are five: Adenine, cytosine, guanine, thymine--
Teacher: Oh? And the fifth one?
Student: I got I got I got I got...
Me (metric): Why does America use the imperial system? It's stupid.
Friend (imperial): Actually, other places use the imperial system.
Me: Which other places?
Friend: The Galactic Empire.
Guy: I hate spam.
Me: I like sushi.
Me: I like sushi.
Me: I like sushi.
...
Someone: Son of a gun...
Someone Else: Now you've just pistoled me off!
Okay, I know these are not the greatest puns ever, but this is my first post in this subreddit. Anyway, now here are the explanations:
Joke 1 - An alloy of carbon and iron is popularly referred to as steel, and stainless steel costs $2.41, in which the item receives a 58.51% reduction in cost, which is a mighty bargain, also known as a steal.
Joke 2 - Boxing is a sport in which your only goal is to knock your opponent out through a series of punches. The ending or twist of a joke is commonly referred to as the punchline of said joke.
Joke 3 - Check out Kendrick Lamar's DNA song.
Joke 4 - Troops and personnel of the Galactic Empire from Star Wars are commonly referred to as the Imperials.
Joke 5 - Spam musubi, or just spam, is a type of sushi. On the internet, spam is referred to as the repetition of a specific message, especially when emailing, to annoy or advertise a product/website to someone.
Joke 6 - The phrase, "Son of a gun", is a friendlier alternative to the phrase, "Son of a bitch!" Also, when you annoy someone, that means that you pissed them off, which sounds a bit like "pistoled".
He had to...Steel wool.
On the steel wool shelf, son!
Bought a new house and was discussing getting an ironing board with my girlfriend. I work with in metal fabrication and she suggested I make one. I happen to work with steel, so naturally i asked if it would then be called steeling...
many head-shakes ensued.
Does he tell new employees his job is riveting?
I left it beside the shed in the alley. The next morning it was soaked, and super deep with water. I would have just poured it out, but I'm in an apartment and the landlord would get mad; no good place to pour it out. So my buddy gave me this instructional video, and it really helped out. My wagon's dry as a steel owl now thanks to this video. I highly recommend it. It's called "How to Drain Your Wagon".
Because he was an ore fan.
Wife: No.
Me: The one about the ferrous wheel?!
Wife: ...
Me: it's pretty metal, you'd love it!
Wife: You steel all your jokes
Me: ...
They were talking about lactose asking if it's a sugar or something. I chime in "oh I know what lactose is! It's when you have an accident without wearing your steel toed boots."
I got 2 groans, 2 grins and 1 chuckle
Steel and Brass Tyson
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
http://i.imgur.com/fG7lAT2.png
I'm building a bridge for a competition team and we need a creative name. So far, all I have is Simon & Garfunkel's Path and Red Hot Road. I'm lame.... Help
I was 16 and at a rowing regatta I was competing in. It was middle of the day and very hot everyone was under these massive gazebo/tent structures with big guide wires and these huge rusty steel tent pegs sledgehammered into the dirt.
Anyways I was running late for my race and my crew were yelling at me so I started running. The shortest way was through the spectator area on a big downhill towards the water so at full pace I went that way.
About halfway the top of my barefoot trips on the rusted top of one of these steel pegs and I fall face first and tumble through the dirt with my foot and ankle split open.
People run from all directions, medical staff etc someone holds a towel over my head for shade and I see my dad. He's looking down at me but it's hard to see through the dirt in my eyes and people around.
He asks "bloody hell mate, what happened?".
In agony I manage a "I kicked a tent peg".
He knelt down beside me, looked me in the eye and said "how far did it go?"
A gallon of water. Butane is a lighter fluid.
But it steel wooden lead me whistle
A gallon of water. Butane is lighter fluid.
Sparky
But it wooden let me whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle.
So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.
But it wooden whistle
So I Bought a steel whistle
But it steel wooden whistle
So I Bought a lead whistle
But it steel wooden lead me whistle
So I Bought a copper whistle
But the copper steel wooden lead me whistle
So I bought a tin whistle
Now I can whistle
But it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle.
But it steel wooden whistle.
So I bought a lead whistle.
But it steel wooden lead me whistle.
