Sweet old lady walks into Perkins with a home made sweater.

The sweater was made with alpaca wool and had a pattern with alpacas wrapping around her chest. It had a beautifully intricate diamond pattern of various colors and you could tell it was finely crafted.

Mom: wow, what a beautiful sweater is that made from alpaca wool?

Old lady: Yes, we have a small herd of them.

Dad: YOU HAVE A HERD OF SWEATERS?!

Old lady stares blankly into my fathers eyes not quite understanding as I’m dying.

👍︎ 17
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📅︎ Mar 17 2018
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So we were eating at Perkins...

A fuzzball was caught in my hair Dad: What's that on your forehead? Me: (I brush back my bangs and say in a british accent) The Scar?

And then we both burst out laughing and my mom and brother both just rolled their eyes. Not really sure if this belongs here, I just wanted to share.

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/jarlaw98
📅︎ Jul 11 2014
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I called to buy tickets for an Elvis tribute act…

It was an automated phone system which said, "Press 1 for the money, 2 for the show…"

👍︎ 3k
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📅︎ Oct 21 2017
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Escape from reality i.reddituploads.com/b2cd6…
👍︎ 40
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👤︎ u/Mairiphinc
📅︎ Feb 09 2017
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My mom had a pretty good one

At Perkins the waiter asked her if she wanted bottomless coffee. She said, " No, that's not necessary. Plus it'd spill all over the table"

👍︎ 91
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📅︎ Dec 28 2013
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