Interplanetary romance

If she doesn't like Star Wars puns, you're looking for love in Alderaan places

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RogueDisciple
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Star Wars Puns

In the spirit of the Star Wars film launching, lets share our best star wars puns. I'll start off:

If you’re dating someone who doesn’t love Star Wars, you’re looking for love in Alderaan places.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/siborg71
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2015
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My dad is a Star Wars fan and my parents are in couples therapy over it.

Therapist: So why do you want to end your marriage?

Mom: I'm sick of all of the Star Wars puns.

Dad: Divorce is strong with this one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zax1989
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2016
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Star Wars Puns

From movie puns we provide you the funniest collection of Star Wars puns

What do you call 5 siths piled on top of a lightsaber? A Sith-Kabob!


Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns? So it doesn’t Hang Solow!


Why shouldn’t you ask Yoda for money? Because he’s always a little short


What program do Jedi use to view PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi


What do you call the website Chewbacca started that gives out Empire secrets? Wookieeleaks


What do you call a Jedi in denial? Obi-Wan Cannot Be


Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing? At the Darth Maul


Greg: Which Star Wars character travels around the world? Craig: Who? Greg: Globi-wan Kenobi!


Matthew: What does a Star Destroyer wear to a wedding? Daniel: What? Matthew: Bow ties, of course!


Deen Why was the droid angry? Mark: Why? Deen People kept pushing its buttons.


Luke: Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road? Lei Not sure. Luke: To get to the Dark Side.


Darth Vader: I know what you’re getting for Christmas. Luke: How do you know? Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.


What do Whipids say when they kiss? Ouch.


What is a jedi’s favorite toy? A yo-yoda


What do you call a pirate droid? Argh2-D2


Where does Jabba the Hutt eat? Pizza Hutt


What is Jabba the Hutt’s middle name? β€œThe” Why is Han Solo a loner? Because he’s solo.


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi What do you call a Sith who won’t fight? A Sithy.


What time is it when Darth Vader steps on your chronometer? Time to get a new chronometer.


What do you call a pirate droid? Arrrrgh-2-D2


Which side of a wookie has the most hair? The outside.


Where does Jabba eat dinner? Pizza Hutt


Who do Jedi call to help open PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call someone that tries to be a Jedi? Obi-Wannabe


What do you call a bounty hunter from Alabama? Bubba Fett


What time is it when Jabba the Hutt sits on your blaster? Time to get a new blaster! Why is Luke


Skywalker always invited on picnics? He always has the forks with him.


Which imperial officer hated Thanksgiving? Grand Moff Turkeyn


What do you call stormtroopers playing Monopoly? Game of Clones


Why did

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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Why haven’t aliens visited our Solar System yet?

They looked at the reviews... only 1 star

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Belpix0
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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No matter how popular Spongebob Squarepants is

Patrick will always be the Star of the show

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZarcoMacro
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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"Do you know what?"

My kids have gotten to saying this a bunch, so now I reply like a dad...

"Oh ya! We went to the same New Year's party once."

"Sure! He makes the best crab dip."

"Big beard? Lousy tipper?"

"The tattoo guy?"

"Biblically."

"Gave him a 5-star Uber review."

"He was the best man at my wedding."

"I think I owe him $20."

"The bouncer at the club!? How do YOU know him?"

"Doesn't he work at the bakery next to PetSmart?"

"I heard he once punched a cop and broke his nose!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uncorked119
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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Do you know mike and jack?

They had a son who went on to become a famous musical star. michal-jack-son

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blizzard_Wolf101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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A massive telescope dropped on my head yesterday....

I was seeing stars all night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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I know that SpongeBob is the title character of the show.

But Patrick is the star.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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If I had to rate our solar system...

I'd give it one star.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gabereyn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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I was at a Star Wars themed restaurant.....

I had Sky Walker soup. Wookie steak and Death Star ice cream.

The starter and the dessert were lovely, but the main course was a bit chewy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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I’m the son

Daughter: You’re not a star Me: yes I am, I’m the son!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dude-The-Elder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Two original dad jokes for you that involve our dog Habibi

Our new puppy is named Habibi but we all call her Bibi for short. Here are two real dad jokes I've told about her in the past few weeks:

  • What do you call it when Bibi eats one of the Star Wars toys?

Bibi ate

  • What do you call it when Bibi shoots out tiny poop pellets instead of her normal poops?

Bibi gun

Thank you, thank you. bows

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jjjmills
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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Sometimes late at night

I look up at the twinkling sky and whisper,

"You guys are the real stars."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rickthecabbie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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You know Orion’s Belt?

Yeah it’s a big waist of space

Ik ik it’s not a good joke I only give it 3 stars

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Admiral_Hipster_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?

Because they are Santas Star Bucks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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What about the star?

My husband and I finally finished decorating the Christmas tree tonight. There’s always a star and we forgot to grab the box from the basement. I said to my husband, β€œWhat about the star?” Without skipping a beat, he says, β€œIt’s 2020. Zero stars.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/see2keroppi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Star wars celebrity names

Apologies if this breaks the rules however. My friends and I are making up names of star wars characters combined with celebrity names. So far we've come up with Darth spader, sith rogan, and obi wan kobe.

Any others we cant think of?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ogzombiela
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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I always wanted to be a Hollywood waiter.

So I decided to get a job as a film star and hope a chef spots me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/northernsou
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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A ninja joke

There are two ninjas. The first ninja looks at the second ninja and says "Hey, can you hand me that throwing star over there?"

The second ninja says "shuriken!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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Ninja

My friend: can a ninja throw a star, Me: Shur-He-Can

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IsraelTheGreat52
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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What did the starfish sing when they gained independence?

Sea stars are doin' it for themselves

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gubaxter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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A rock star's Journey

A number of years ago I was in a rock band. We were hugely successful, playing some of the biggest venues and entertaining swarms of fans.

The last shoes we ever played were on our world tour. We played the Americas and then flew over to Europe. We played our way through Russia and even a couple of gigs in China, before selling out our final show in Japan.

It was a hell of a Journey, but it was time for me to hang up my guitar. I retired from the rock star life and got an office job in Tokyo.

I made a few friends at work, and grew close with one in particular, Narada-san. One day Narada had the day off for a funeral, but that wasn't enough; he needed more time. He was torn between his obligation to return to work and his desire to have more time at home. He asked me what he should do.

The answer was simple. I picked up my guitar and played a Japanese version of our biggest hit from 1981:

Don't Stop Bereaving

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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My wife and I went camping...

She looked up at the stars and said to me, "It's amazing to think how small we really are in the Universe, what do you think my love?

I told her that I think someone has stolen our tent!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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Apparently Orion wasn't too excited about his new belt.

He only gave it 3 stars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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Australia Vs New Zealand

Do you know why Australia is better than New Zealand?

Australia has 6 stars and New Zealand only 4.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BorisLordofCats
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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Asked an Alien why they never visits us.

''bad reviews, only one star''they said.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlankenSonja
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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Are you familiar with Orion’s Belt?

... huge waste of space.

Sorry, that joke wasn’t very good... three stars.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. ..

After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes," replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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How do planets staying busy during hunting season?

By shooting stars

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pillaryspud
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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My wife and I went to the Museum of Medicine and we were browsing the exhibits...

Wife: "Look, they used to treat pain with willow bark".

Me: "I'll give that one 3 stars".

Wife: "This one is about the invention of antibiotics".

Me: "I'll give it 8 out of 10".

Wife: "Apparently, they used give people cowpox to protect them from smallpox".

Me: "Definitely 2 thumbs up".

Wife: "Why do you keep doing that?".

Me: "I'm the curator of this museum"!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet?

They looked at the reviews, but we only had one star

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Termin201
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
The show was called Spongebob Squarepants...

but everyone knows the star was Patrick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Spongebob may be the title character of the show.

But Patrick is the star.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven’t aliens visited us yet?

They saw the rating- only one star.

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SZT2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The show was called Spongebob Squarepants

But everybody knows the star was Patrick

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?

They read the reviews... only one star

πŸ‘︎ 103
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tawzeeh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system yet?

They looked at the reviews first...... only 1 star

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmekrusty
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Spongebob may be the protagonist

But to me, the star is Patrick

πŸ‘︎ 193
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RalGard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Spongebob Squarepants may be the main character on the show..

But Patrick is the star.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system?

They looked at our reviews: only 1 star.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/singh_j
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
"Orion's belt is a big waist of space"

Terrible joke. Only 3 stars.

πŸ‘︎ 960
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConsumerOfAllToes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you call a fight between celebrities?

A Star Wars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/360NoobXDD
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report

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