Space-Bar
๐Ÿ‘︎ 61
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/shivamnashte
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man at the bar told me he once travelled across space to get a pint

He must have been interstellar

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/eormada
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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Space shuttle made of keyboard keys does not contain any space bars
๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Oscar_Lilja
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
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I'm opening a new bar called The Space Bar, but it's under the C.

It's keyboard themed.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/H_G_Bells
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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Boss: "what's that?", Me: (with much enthusiasm) "it's a SPACE BAR!!!!!" *wets myself laughing*, Boss: "...................." *delivers withering look* "are you allowed to stick things on your laptop?", Me: *dies inside at another badly landed pun*
๐Ÿ‘︎ 106
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HumusGoose
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
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Like him or hate him, he's spittin space bars youtu.be/O1puRnV6gwE
๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CocozuBR
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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Whatโ€™s an astronautโ€™s favorite part of a computer? The space bar."
๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ruchi565
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Space Bar
๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TMGGuy123
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why is the space bar sad all the time?

He is frequently depressed.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TomBerringer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why Doesn't Ariel Use The Space Bar?

It's unda da C.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PleaseWithC
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 16 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does a computer get drunk?

It takes screen shots.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 465
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/chihiro_yoru
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
how do you host a party in outer space?

You planet.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mitks07
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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I'm tired of typing at my computer.

I'm keybored.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sir_Pluses
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didnโ€™t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/communist_scumbag
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Astronaut 1: Isthereaplacewecanhangoutafterwork?

Astronaut 2: Yeah, thereโ€™s a space bar right over there.

Astronaut 1: Great, wanna go after work?

Astronaut 2: Nah, not really; the drinks are great but thereโ€™s no atmosphere...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Pleasethelions
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Where did the keys on a computer keyboard went to celebrate new years eve

To the space bar !!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DumbA5h
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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What do NASA programmers do on the weekends?

They hit the space bar.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Zaddis04
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevorโ€™s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevorsโ€™s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevorโ€™s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasnโ€™t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

โ€œWellโ€ said Jeff, โ€œAs Iโ€™m sure you know the convention comes to town laterโ€.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

โ€œYes of courseโ€ replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ShredderSte
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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I just came across my first Snapchat story...
๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Death_By_Pun
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I donโ€™t think theyโ€™ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but donโ€™t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

โ€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, โ€˜The good news is..itโ€™ll feel better when it quits hurting.'โ€

Whatโ€™s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

โ€œIโ€™ll call you later!โ€- โ€œPlease donโ€™t do that. Iโ€™ve always asked you to call me Dad!โ€

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

โ€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: โ€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.โ€™โ€

โ€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, โ€˜No, just leave it in the carton!โ€™โ€

I got so angry the other day when I couldnโ€™t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book Iโ€™ve ever read, Iโ€™d say: โ€œWow, thatโ€™s coincidental.โ€

Iโ€™m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build itโ€™s house? Igloos it together.

โ€œMe: โ€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!โ€™ Dad: โ€˜Poof, Youโ€™re a sandwich!โ€™โ€

โ€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

โ€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? Theyโ€™re all girls, otherwise theyโ€™d be uncles.โ€

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth โ€“ its pasteurized before you even see it

โ€œWhatโ€™s Forrest Gumpโ€™s password? 1forrest1โ€

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: โ€œDonโ€™t worry; this is a piece of cake.โ€ I said: โ€œNo, itโ€™s a math problem.โ€

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I donโ€™t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. Iโ€™m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 39
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/weeb123xD
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 19 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Pearl Harbor of puns

If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?

I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.

I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?

I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.

I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.

I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"

I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".

If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?

If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?

My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.

I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.

Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.

Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.

You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"

A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PraetorSolaris
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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What do drunken astronauts and a typist's thumbs have in common?

They both hang around the space bar!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/WholesomeRanger
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What is a Astronaut's favorite key on a keyboard

The SpaceBar

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Vuldienstien
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
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Have you heard of the new upcoming rapper, Lil Keyboard?

they say his bars are from space

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RedLilSleepy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why are keyboards in space such good musicians?

Because they have space bars

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bill_Franklyn
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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A horse walks into a bar...

So a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks if he wants a beer. The horse goes "neigh." So the bartender kicks him out for wasting space, and on top of it, horsing around. 30 minutes later, a donkey comes in, orders the most expensive drink and a round for the house. When it comes time to pay the tab, the donkey says, "oh, by the way, you kicked out my husband, a horse, earlier," then walks out without paying. The bartender was upset, but knew he'd serve the occasional horse's ass.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 44
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Blue8844
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 29 2017
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasnโ€™t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? โ€œMy Fare, Ladyโ€.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physicianโ€™s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


โ€œWhatโ€™s purple and 5000 miles long?โ€ โ€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!โ€


Every calendarโ€™s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. โ€œFour bucks,โ€ says the bartender. โ€œPut it on my bill.โ€


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When heโ€™s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle canโ€™t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Punsville
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Science Puns

One of the funniest school puns; science puns

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, theyโ€™d be alloys.


The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.


If youโ€™re not part of the solution, youโ€™re part of the precipitate.


A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, โ€œNo, Iโ€™m traveling light.โ€


Did you just mutate for a stop codon? Because youโ€™re talking nonsense!


How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.


What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics? Woopea!


Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? Heโ€™s 0K now.


I wish I was adenine, then, I could get paired with U.


Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na


Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says โ€œI think Iโ€™ll have an H2O.โ€ The second one says โ€œI think Iโ€™ll have an H2O tooโ€ โ€” and he died.


A couple of biologists had twins. They named one Jessica and the other Control.


Did you hear the one about the recycling triplets? Their names are Polly, Ethel, and Ian.


Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!


What element is a girlโ€™s future best friend? Carbon.


I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.


Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.


What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.


What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? I like your โ€œstyle.โ€


Iโ€™m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I canโ€™t put it down.


I have a new theory on inertia but it doesnโ€™t seem to be gaining momentum.


Why canโ€™t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they donโ€™t believe in higher powers.


Schrodingerโ€™s cat walks into a bar. And doesnโ€™t.


Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.


What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!


A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies โ€œFor you, no chargeโ€.


Two atoms are walking along. One of them says: โ€œOh, no, I think I lost an electron.โ€ โ€œAre you sure?โ€

โ€œYe

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Punsville
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do Russian Cosmonauts love most about computers?

The space bar.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/coladict
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 29 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do you have a party in Space??

You planet

๐Ÿ‘︎ 422
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/yuri-123
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What's an astronaut's favorite part of a computer?

The space bar.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 191
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TopCleverUsername
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didnโ€™t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I really like typing essays

Because I get to go to the space bar often

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/justcurious-serious
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Where do aliens and alphabets go party

In the space Bar

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/darkintruder77
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What's an astronaut's favorite part of a computer?

the space bar.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ineedapapaya
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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What is the most used part of a laptop at NASA?

Space bar

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ColorfulZips
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 31 2020
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Where do aliens go for a drink?

The Space Bar

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LordSaumya
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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Where do aliens go for a drink?

Space bar

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NDK113
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Josvys
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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What's the hardest part about throwing a party in outer space?

You have to planet

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lukepprice
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 12 2015
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Whatโ€™s an astronautโ€™s favorite part of a computer?

The space bar.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/veryoldhippy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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What's an astronaut's favorite part of a computer?

The space bar!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bakedschwarzenbach
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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Whatโ€™s an alienโ€™s favourite computer key?

The space bar

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Eluceadtenebras
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
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What lies under the sea?

Space.

Told to me by my 9yr old.

Edit: the space bar is under the C key for the that don't get it.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rarebit13
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 06 2018
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What is Astronaut's favourite keyboard key?

The Space Bar!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/woyteck
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 30 2017
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