Because that's your own asphalt.
It was ruled by a fair king who joyfully ruled his land. Unfortunately, the kingdom was also home to a wicked thief who loved nothing more than causing mayhem for all the inhabitants of the land.
However, the thief was not your ordinary thief. He only stole bells. Any kind of bell, whether a tiny bell from a kitten’s collar, all the way up to the bell from the king’s royal bell tower.
When the king awoke one morning, the bell tower’s bell was missing. The king, being brave and noble, decided to follow the thief back to his lair. He chose four of his most loyal soldiers, mounted his horse, and rode off into the snowy woods, following the footprints left behind on the ground.
Soon, he and his soldiers arrived to a clearing in the woods. In front of them was a large, bell-shaped building. They found the thief’s lair!Pointing to the recent tracks left in the snow by the thief, the king announced to the soldiers,
“Look! The Fresh Prints to Bell Lair!”
Dovah-skiin'
"There's no cake, it's all just rocks and dirt."
"Well! I better drive fast so I don't spend too much time on the road!"
Every. Single. Time.
It just started snowing a few minutes ago. A co-worker looked out the window and said "Wow, it's snowing pretty hard. I hope it keeps up, that way it won't come down!"
The first couple days of winter have really delivered for us, and it's cold and snowy where we are. My dad walked over to the window where the thermometer is and the following conversation ensued:
Dad: Let's see what Arthur says.
Me: You named the thermometer Arthur? Why?
Dad: Arthur-mometer!
I rarely walk into those setups so easily and he was so pleased with himself.
When my dad and I were dropping my sister off at brownie camp a few weeks ago, several of the adults came over to us to say hello. They introduced themselves as Snowy Owl, Tawny Owl, and Barn Owl. My dad chirps in with "So is that the pecking order then?" and elbows me in the ribs, cackling away.
So basically there's a soiree to raise money and I can't think of any puns or slogans for it. It will be during winter but after Christmas. I don't know where I would turn for this so I'll give this subreddit a shot. What I 've come up with so far: Snowy Soiree, Sparkling soiree, Winter soiree.... they're not good. :(
*Khakis: What you need to start the car in Boston.
*Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
*Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.
*What do you call a cow who gives no milk? ...A milk dud (or an udder failure)
*There was a terrible fight reported in our local shopping center. It just so happened that a news reporter from one of our local stations was there to record the entire episode. It was an altercation between a prominent dentist and a manicurist. Their disagreement escalated to the point that they wound up fighting each other tooth and nail.
*The little old woman who lived in a shoe wasn't the sole owner - there were strings attached.
*I recently saw a theatrical performance on puns... turned out, it was just a play on words!
*Have you ever tried watching a magician with an anger management problem? Every time he gets mad, he pulls his hare out!
*If you lose your hearing, is it ear replaceable? -Just wondering
*Harvard has long been known for its championship Rowing team – until this year. They had their first ever indecisive rower... he couldn’t choose either oar.
*I found an excellent seamstress who is so enthusiastic about her work that she's happy to make a pair of pants for you …or at least sew its seams.
*No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
*I bought a new weed whacker yesterday & it is cutting-hedge technology!
*Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
*I read about a recent fire at the circus. The heat was in tents.
*I was saddened to hear that our local bakery was going out of business. They said they had decided to stop making donuts after they got tired of the hole thing.
*I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.
*Why do seagulls fly over the sea? …Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!!
*I wonder if their manure spreader is the only equipment John Deere won't stand behind.
*I saw a very emotional wedding recently... even the cake was in tiers!
*I'm glad I'm not a cross-eyed teacher... otherwise I'd find it too difficult to control my pupils!
*What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window? ...Snow and Tell
*I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
*The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.
*What kind of math do Snowy Owls like? …Owlgebra
*What
... keep reading on reddit ➡My Mom is big into birds and my folks have a friend who works in our local (small town) air control tower that let them come up from time to time to search for Snowy Owls (apparently they like the open plains that an airport provides). Anyways this is the text exchange between me and my dad:
Dad: (pic of mom with binoculars looking out the control tower)
Me: great pic! Seeing anything?
Dad: airplanes
At the scene when Aladdin was sent to the snowy mountain and the tower is rolling at him:
her: boy he has to time is just right!
me: he's waiting for the window of opportunity!
