Given that a case of the sniffles means staying home from school, we give my daughter a daily allergy medicine. My wife was giving her breakfast before school, and when I walked out, I asked if sheโ€™d had her medicine yet.

My daughter said yes, and I replied, โ€œSo youโ€™re de-Claritin that youโ€™ve had it already?โ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 38
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/bpcombs
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 17 2021
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*sniffle* Dad, I caught a cold.

Son, you let that cold go right now!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/JDogg_of_RS
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 21 2016
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Every time you sneeze or sniffle

Runny nose? 'yeah' What a shame you, were built upside down......Your nose runs and your feet smell.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/akhakh2
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 21 2013
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How do you make a cured ham?

Well first you find a pig with the sniffles...

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/vrek86
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 04 2020
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At a funeral, a little old man goes up to the grieving widow.

"May I say a word?"

Sniffling, the widow agrees. The old man clears his throat, "Plethora"

"The widow smiles. "Thanks, that means a lot."

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 48
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/bigboyschoolaccount
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 26 2020
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I felt a little sad for my lucky sock when I looked down and saw another rip, this one baring my entire ankle.

I sniffled. My sock was on it's last leg.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Nightreach1
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 02 2020
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Two puddles of vomit are walking along the street one day...

Suddenly, one of them starts sniffling and getting all emotional.

The second asks, "why, what's the matter?"

The emotional vomit replies, "Just nostalgia - this is the place I was brought up..."

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/td941
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 09 2019
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I have taught well

Kid 1: What causes sniffles? Non-dad parent: Lots of things- a cold, allergiesโ€ฆ Kid 2: Or warm allergiesโ€ฆ

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/SednaBoo
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 02 2017
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My grandpa's finest moment

I'm out to dinner with my family and my grandpa starts sniffling a bit. So he pulls out one of his super old patterned handkerchiefs and says "my nose keeps running". He then quickly grabs his nose, handkerchief in hand and yells "got it!" super loud in the restaurant were at. While he's laughing at his own joke he goes "that's funny right there" and keeps laughing and partially retelling the joke.

I'm proud to be his grandson.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 157
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/spawn1234100
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 10 2015
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Just got my sick wife with this classic

My wife is sick with a bad cold. Her: (sniffle, sniffle) Ugh. I don't know how I am going to sleep tonight. Me: Most likely on your back. Oh!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BearDrivingCar
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 30 2014
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Any room for a mom joke?

Outside picking oranges so they don't freeze and i hear my ma get the sniffles:

Ma: I'm all backwards.

Me: what?

Ma: my nose runs and my feet smell.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 39
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mondscal
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 06 2013
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1001 Dad Jokes

My brother's wife recently gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, and being a new father, my brother and dad sat down to talk. I heard my brother expressing his concerns about being a new father, and all the challenges it would bring. My dad just smiled and put his hand on my brother's shoulder, pulling out a big, goofy colored book titled '1001 Dad Jokes.' With this, my brother began to tear up. He looked at my dad and said "Dad...I'm honored." My dad, with some tears of pride in his eyes as well sniffled and said...

"Hi honored, I'm Dad."

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ThatOneRussian
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 03 2013
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