How does a scientist freshen their breath?

With experi-mints!

πŸ‘︎ 117
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Ducks in Formation

Dad and son look skyward to flying V of ducks.

Dad asks: "Do you know why one side of the V is longer than the other?"

Son: "No, why?"

Dad: "There are more ducks on that side."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
🚨︎ report
An American man and his son went to Finland.

When they arrived, a cab driver greeted them at the airport. "What should we do on our first day here," the father asked his son, excitedly. The driver interjected, "Well, if you're not natives, I'd suggest the roller coaster that teaches your or language." Confused, the father and son look at one another then back at their guide. "Trust me," he told them, "It's guaranteed or your money back." Having no plans and now both understandably intrigued, the pair agreed. When they arrived at the roller coaster, they were amazed to behold the giant steel skeleton of the most intricate ride they'd ever seen. It had loops, helixes, corkscrews and drops more terrifying than anything they'd ridden back home. The son quickly rescinded his consent and turned you guys father. "There's no way I'm getting on that thing. You go first," he said, "Then you can tell me if it's worth it." Not wanting to seem a coward, the father accepted. Stepping into the first car, he seated himself. As the attendant approached to check his shoulder restraint, her couldn't help but ask, "So how exactly am I supposed to learn an entire language from a roller coaster?" The attendant smiled and replied simply, "You'll see." Anticipation turned to unease as the cars lurched upward towards the first drop. The seconds felt like hours as the car climbed higher and higher, clicking steadily while the chain pulled it skyward. As the nose of the car tipped downward and he could see the enormous drop below, his inner fear turned verbal. Without thinking he screamed, "minΓ€ kuolen!" As he rounded the first turn and into an inverted twist, he debut another exclamation well inside and burst forth. "naida!" He screamed as the ride continued. A few minutes and many foreign-tongued exclamations later, he found himself back at the station trying to catch his breath with the smiling attendant removing his restraints. His ran up to his son and declared, "It really works! I'm not sure how, but it really works!" "How was it?" the son asked unimpressed. "It was a wild ride from start to Finnish." "The son smiled weakly. "Yeah , the cabbie stole our luggage."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CanMan0711
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2017
🚨︎ report
Wife dadjoked me, depends on who you ask

Just started playing Zelda:Skyward Sword and named my character Colby after my dog. My wife asks me if I'll name Link that every time, or change it when we have kids. I answer, depends.

Depends? You'll name him Depends? I didn't think you were old enough for those.

So. Proud.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/euphomptus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.