Ok acupuncture skeptics. You can say it’s fake. You can say it’s just a placebo. You can say it’s a scam. BUT...

You can’t say it’s pointless

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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Whenever I say anything to my horse, he denies it, refuses it, opposes it, or is skeptical or cynical about it.

He's a real neighsayer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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A guy walks into a bar with a dog and the bartender says "No pets allowed!"

The guy says "This isn't a pet, he's my friend and he can talk."

The bartender is skeptical and demands the guy proves it.

The guy asks the dog "What's the opposite of 'soft'?" The dog replies "Rough!"

The bartender remains skeptical and asks for more proof.

The guy asks the dog "What do people put over the top of their house?" The dog replies "Roof!"

The bartender gets annoyed and gives the guy one more chance.

The guy asks the dog "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time? Babe......" The dog replies "Ruth!"

The bartender is fed up and throws them out. The dog says "Should I have said 'Lou Gehrig?'"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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I’ll admit, I was skeptical at first when I got the coupon for a complimentary crimson bunk...

But I’ve always wanted to give Red Bed Redemption a shot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redditaccount314
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
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The inventor of Velcro was skeptical about the name at first

But after a while it stuck with him

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrettyMuchIt530
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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I was skeptical when someone told me that there is a land full of Jews

Turns out, Israel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterbill
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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So whats the most skeptical country? NOOORWAAAY
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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I told Mike Tyson about the hippo that's trained to use a toilet, but he seemed skeptical.

Keeps calling it a hippo potty myth

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πŸ‘€︎ u/omnomnosaurus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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We got an interior designer off of craigslist, we were skeptical of the outcome but he really knew how to pick the right worksurface for our kitchen

He was very counterintuitive.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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I'm going to open a Vietnamese restaurant that caters to the skeptic.

I think I'll name it But Pho Real.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BizzareCzar
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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When people were skeptical about Ben Franklin's invention of bi-focal glasses,

He said, "you'll see."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
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Moses was known for being skeptical of God's words.

When God said unto Moses, "I am who I am." Moses said, "No way!" And God said unto him, "Yahweh!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/42aku
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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What did the skeptical man say after going to the chiropractor?

"I stand corrected!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/newkyd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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I found the only psychic that could communicate with dead animals. I was skeptical at first, but when she talked about my animals it felt as if she lived with them her entire life.

She was a rare medium well done.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
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I'm always skeptical of artists drawing in the hood

It's so sketchy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TerlerSwerft
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
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Even though he extremely skeptical, the hunchback’s wife finally convinced him to see a surgeon to straighten his spine. When the operation was done, he came home and told his wife:

"I stand corrected."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomjim04
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2018
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I was skeptical about psychic mediums...

So I ended up getting psychic larges instead.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2017
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My wife threatened to leave me because of my obsession with the Monkees.

I was skeptical at first, but then I saw her face...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/89iroc
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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Genetic Engineering...

Did you see the headline that Genetic Engineers are experimenting with odd combinations of animals in order to come up with new species? This article was talking about people trying to combine a bull with a possum.
While the scientific community is responding with skepticism, I think it's a possum-bull.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/natebraun1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
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My eyeglasses are atheist.

They're skeptical spectacles.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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A piece of string and his buddies go into a bar

A piece of string and his buddies go into a bar. The bartender looks up and says we don’t serve strings here, but they sit down anyway. The bartender walks over to the table and says either he can leave, or you all can leave, I don’t care, then the bartender walks away. The string says let me see if I can make this better, and he goes up to talk to the bartender with no success. And goes back to the table. He sits there for a minute thinking. The string then ties himself into a knot, and frays his end and then go back up to the bar to get drinks for the table. The bartender looks at him skeptically, and says” aren’t you that piece of string, and the string replies”no, I’m a frayed knot”

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
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Dad's allergic to Banana Pudding

Dad - What are you doing?
Son - Getting a bowl of Banana Pudding.
Dad - OH, I'm allergic to Banana Pudding.
Son - (EXTREME SKEPTICISM) What do you mean you're allergic?
Dad - I can't eat just one bowl.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klemorali
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2017
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Before Coffee at the Office

Walking back from the kitchen at work with a snack I turn to my coworker and say:

"I like pears, which is why I'm bummed there was only 1"

"Ok dude", he waits for a moment and looks at me... "Was there a hidden joke in there?" He questions skeptically.

I smile at him and wait a moment. Realization dawns on his face and he curses and turns away trying not to show that he's laughing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WakeskaterX
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2016
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I thought /r/puns might enjoy these

A couple puns.

A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal elder who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the elder looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."


There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. (Some of you may need help with this one).

edit: just a bit of formatting showing difference from one pun the other

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-REDDlT-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2012
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Made my wife and kids cringe during a road trip.

Kids were discussing animals. Someone mentioned gnus (wildebeests), how they have horse tails and buffalo horns. I told them I'm not even sure if they are real or not. "Really? You don't know if gnus are real or not?" Says the oldest in a skeptic tone.

"That's right. I'm an agnustic."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MuadLib
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2016
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Nature program dad joked.

My dad, step mum and I were watching a nature program. The topic turned to a lake that contained the largest number of wild mussels in the country. Cue conversation:

Dad: "I went to a party there once."

-Skeptical silence-

Dad: "Yeah, I pulled a mussel".

I groaned, step mum rolled her eyes, refusing to acknowledge the joke while dad is cracking up at himself. It took him a good minute to compose himself.

(For those unfamiliar with the slang, in England "to pull" someone means scoring/picking someone up at a bar/club/party or whatever)

EDIT cant spell.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/foxdrop
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2015
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What do you call a military vehicle that doesn't quite believe you?

A skeptic tank.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wizard7926
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2017
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My Husband, the fact generator

Him: Do you know why they call it Popeyes Chicken? Me (skeptically): No. Him: Because if you have a chicken allergy, your eyes pop out of your head. eyeroll Happy Father's Day, Dads!!

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2015
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What did the skeptical man say when the chiropractor fixed his broken back?

"I stand corrected."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/newkyd
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
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