A simple pun sparked a beautiful thread
Doctor: Calm down, David. This is a very simple procedure.
Me: I’m not David.
Doctor: I know. I’m David.
I thought this book I've just bought about farming would be a nice simple read..
But it's full of words I've never even herbivore.
I make money by selling simple sandwiches
A simple question from my 6 year old son.
A meteorite is a small meteor, right?
Full credit to my son, he will truly make a great dad some day.
Simple solution to my fear of the dark
I just close my eyes and pretend it's not there
Migratory birds can be fascinating. You often see them fly in "V" formation across the sky. On occasion you see that one side is longer than the other. It's a simple scientific explanation really.
There just happens to be more birds on that side.
When a simple "Bye!” just doesn't cut it
My wife keeps calling me a simple machine.
With the onset of age, I'm forgetting really simple things, like the fact that cheese is made from milk.
Previously it would've a curd to me.
I proclaimed to my wife that the world does not revolve around our little girl. Perturbed, she shot back, "Why on Earth would you ever say that!?" I explained, "Well, it's really quite simple you see, she's our daughter..."
I have a simple standard for dadjoke quality: the joke should not simply be a lame, obvious pun that anyone could think of. So I checked to see if any of this sub's top ten jokes met this standard
A good pun plane and simple
I've created a simple and cheap period tracker
Every kind of clickbait does these simple things:
How to Fall down the Stairs: A Simple How-To
Step 1
Step 2
Step 3
Step 6
Step 12
Step 20
And that concludes my simple how-to.
A monastery decided to liven up their old clothes by tie-dying them, but the fabric became stiff and uncomfortable. When the Abbott asked a sister to explain, she gave a simple reply:
I just got fired from a job at a convention center explaining in simple terms to businesses why they should come demo their products at our conventions.
It's my exposition exposition ex-position.
Here’s a simple guide on how to ride an escalator.
I gave my son a simple job: nail down the floorboards.
saw this simple beauty on the interstate
Ladies! Destroy the patriarchy with this one simple trick!
Next time a man tells you to make him a sandwich, just say "Poof! You're a sandwich!"
Patriarchy can only be destroyed with dad jokes.
Which simple machine can catch a thief?
Yesterday, my son explained to me in very simple terms that I am an adult but he isn't...
One time, someone told me they were cold, the solution was simple.
I told them to go to the corner of the room cuz it is 90 degrees
How can a simple spelling mistake lead to a lost pregnancy?
Russian Dolls are simple.
Get one, and Putin the other.
I read about one famous detective. Man was always catching criminals by simple luck. Either he would just luckily stumble across damning evidence or luckily catch the criminal in the act.
I think his name was Sheer luck Holmes
A simple spelling mistake brings out the best of Reddit.
Ah - the good ol' Mazda meowta
https://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/9sgqbx/car_vs_dragons/e8oni93?utm_source=reddit-android
Simple Math
If I had 50 cents for every failed math test I every took, I would have like $ 6.30 by now.
Looking at fruit, short but simple
My girlfriend and I were looking at fruit in the supermarket, and while I wasn't looking, she said: "oh look, they have pears"
Me: "pears of what?" ;)
Her: "You think you're so funny"
He. He. He.
I gave the art restoration people very simple instructions
If it ain't baroque, don't fix it
In Germany, discussing breakfast is as simple as seeing it... ei to ei.
(Punchline: ei = German for egg, and we know how commonplace eggs are at breakfast.)
Sometimes the best dad jokes are simple
This afternoon...
My wife: Our vacuum cleaner sucks.
Me: Prefect
Achieving world peace is simple. Just burn all musical instruments.
Then there will finally be no violins.
Got my son with a simple dad joke
My son is taking Geometry this year so I ask him.
Dad: What did you do in Geometry today
Son: Just Angles
Dad: Did you see any you liked?
Son: Did I see any what that I like? Angles?
Dad: Yeah did you see the Acute ones.
Son, wife, and daughter and groan at the same time.
The advantage to simple origami is
I have a simple standard for dadjoke quality: the joke should not simply be a lame, obvious pun that anyone could think of. So I checked to see if this sub's top ten jokes met this standard.
My dad gave me a simple job: nail down the floorboards.
Yesterday, my son explained to me in very simple turns that I am an adult but he isn't...
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