Why do sharks live in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Did I ever tell you that I wanted to go to the beach and swim around wearing a shark fin?
Cause, every girl is crazy about a shark dressed man. 📷
I used to film lessons on avoiding shark attacks while scuba diving.
They made me retire because I got out of hand.
What is a shark's favorite pain killer?
Why can an octopus beat a shark in a fight?
How did the hammerhead shark do on his midterm exam?
Did you hear about the group of Killer Whales that killed a Great White shark?
It was an Orcastrated attack.
We got a new dog and I named him 'Shark'
I took him to the beach, lost him for a little while, and well, things got awkward real fast.
If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks
Cost me an arm and a leg!
my 4 yo daughter told me this one: Why did the shark blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What does a seal with a broken leg say to a shark?
If the seal is broken don’t eat it.
What's the protocol for marine biologists caring for pregnant hammerhead sharks?
To give them a wide birth
A shark, crocodile, and a giant spider walk into a bar
There’s no punchline, it’s just a normal day in Australia
If a shark and a tornado is a sharknado
Then is a hurricane and a shark a shuriken
What do Tylenol and a chair made of tiny sharks have in common?
They’re both a seat of mini fins.
why are the sharks hungry?
A guy told me there was a shark attack today, said the shark took out his whole left side.
Couldn’t believe it when he told me he was all right.
Arguing with strangers online is like wrestling sharks
Even if you win, it was a really stupid thing to do.
I was at Costco today and a whole rack of Omega 3 pills fell on me
I'm ok though. It was just super fish oil injuries.
Why did the shark cross the road?
What do you call it when sharks are being ironic?
Can a turkey jump higher than a house?
Yes, because houses can't jump!
Why did the shark befriend the dolphin?
>!Because it wanted more porpoise in its life!<
Shark Week 🦈
Did you know that the best appetizers are shark meat and owl meat?
Together they make one hell of a shark-hootery board.
What country do sharks vacation in?
We have a dog and we love him and we named him Shark.
Our mistake… Bringing him to the beach.
Why shouldn’t you swim with sharks?
It could cost you an arm and a leg. The whole idea seems fishy to me!
There’s a fish in a tank, and it turns to the other fish, do you know what it says?
The white shark is one of the most vicious fish in the ocean. What's the most vulnerable fish?
My friend asked me, “Why are you going fishing today?”
I said, “Just for the halibut.”
What do you call it when the loan shark comes to your house and breaks your legs?
Why does the shark goes after a submarine?
Because something smelled fishy about it!
I got this joke in a dream
I was thinking today that a shark can definitely swim faster than me, but I could definitely run faster on land.
So if we were competing in a triathlon, it would probably come down to the cycling.
What did the surfer say after his legs were bitten off by a shark?
Shark Tank rejected my idea for a modular shirt with detachable sleeves.
They said I was just ripping off Velcro.
Welcome to Alaska!
Where everyone is sure to be packing, even the wolves.
A guy told me he was attacked by a shark today.. took out his whole left side..
Couldn’t believe it when he told me he was all right.
what did the seal with a missing arm say to the shark?
If Seal is broken do not consume
Why do sharks like salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
(from my 8yo)
If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with Sharks....
It cost me an arm and a leg!
What did the seal with one fin say to the shark?
If seal is broken, do not consume.
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark…
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.
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