Yeah, apparently it was the first ever serf face to heir missile.
I live across from a lake and some fisherman found a severed human nose. The detective on the case asked if I know who it belongs to. I replied, "no body nose."
But it was a fossil arm.
Guess it was an anonymous tip
The clean-up that followed was all hands on deck.
With a finger nail
I wonder if he was kilt
Nobody seems to talk about it.
They said it was grounds for termination.
Then again, I get where he’s coming from.
I put the "amor" in "polyamory".
He said "Well, you should probably avoid those places in the future."
Thanks, but I was looking for a treatment, not a compliment.
Man I’m glad that’s out of the whey.
because she’s really good at standing guys up.
I whispered in her ear "You're an ambulance"
OC/DC, we called ourselves.
Is it still considered a "beef"?
He got hijacked.
I guarantee you,no one has ever heard them before.
John saw a tornado out the window of Frank’s house and said to Frank
“Jesus man! that’s an F5! We gotta get to cover Frank!”
Tornado rapidly approaches within 100 yards
John was looking for the cellar door and found 2 different ones
“For Fuck’s sake Frank which is the best cellar!?”
With the tornado bearing down on them, Frank sprang into action and grabbed the latest James Patterson novel.
Man! That came out of nowhere!!
He had no idea he had started a turf war.
Someone took a fence.
First one that comes to mind....
It's a real mid-wife crisis!
"Hey, barkeep!" he says, struggling to keep control of his quarry. "Any room for me and my friends?"
The bartender smiles and sets down some plastic cups. The man plops his friends inside, but the cups are too small.
"Um...barkeep?" the man says, pulling them out again. The bartender reaches for some larger mugs, but as he places them next to the cups, it becomes obvious that even these will be too small for the pigs.
Seeing the man struggle to continue holding them, the bartender runs to the kitchen for help.
A cook emerges, holding several large measuring cups. "Sorry, I just used these to make a batch of cheese dip, but they're all yours!"
The man carefully plops each pig into its respective gooey yellow cup.
Arms exhausted, breathing heavily, he drops into a stool at the end of the bar, between his tiny friends and a beautiful girl.
He glances her way, gasping coyly. "Hey...I'm...Tom."
She smiles, having watched the whole ordeal. "Hi Tom, I'm Liz. And if you don't mind me asking..." she laughs, looking over his shoulder, "what was that all about?"
He glances back at the bar. "Yeah...sorry," he pants. "I wanted...to impress you, but...it turned out to be...a pretty cheesy...pig-cup line."
Pump kin
I know, it sounds a bit far-fetched.
Why
Must be because Ice-cream a lot.
I'm clean now
A hydrant.
Poor guy turned to a life of mime.
BBQ
I didn’t want them to make offense.
Cannot believe Gaviscon
It’s quite a peeling
I informed my wife that we had ourgrains
Just read an amazing account of a 13th-Century siege.
The attackers killed the duke's son, knocking him from the battlements with a peasant's severed head fired from a trebuchet.
It was the first recorded instance of a serf-face-to-heir missile.
From Twitter.
I guarantee nobody has ever heard them.
I guarantee no one has ever heard them before
I guarantee nobody has ever heard them.
