A pun sprints into a bar...
And the bartender says, 'We don't serve puns here.' So the pun dashes out. This happens 6 more times over the next week.
7 days later...
A pun sprints into a bar, and the bartender says 'We don't serve puns here.' So the pun dashes out. The bartender says 'Aaha! THAT'S THE RUNNING JOKE!!!'
Justice is a dish best served cold...
If it were served warm it would be justwater.
The barman says, “Sorry, we don’t serve faster-than-light particles in here.”
A faster-than-light particle walks into a bar.
What's something a drug dealer would never ask?
On what type of plate does Dracula get his blood soup served on?
What di they serve at the cannibal school?
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gases"
My favorite Christmas breakfast is Eggs Benedict served on a hubcap.
There's no place like chrome for the hollandaise.
Never date a tennis player
Love means nothing to them
I hate eating at restaurants that serve rabbit...
I always end up with a hare in my food...
I served Elton John a boiled egg the other day. I asked him how it was, and he said....
"It's a little bit runny".
Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.
Now she's a small medium at large.
If I ever run a hotel, the free breakfast would be served from 7 tables all pushed together in the middle of the room.
It would be a Pangea breakfast
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, “Get out. We don’t serve rope in here.” So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”
The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
Why couldn’t they serve communion wafers at the wedding reception?
they just keep getting served all the time
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend
but he kept asking her for another shot.
A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We don't serve your kind here!"
The mushroom replies, "Why not?! I'm a fun guy!"
He then goes on to say "The name's Gus, and all my friends call me Fun Gus"
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says “Wow, I’ve never served a weasel before. What can I get you?”
The person who had once kidnapped me got released after serving 10 years in prison. Since then, I secretly follow him to his house every single day without his knowledge.
I guess I'm suffering from 'stalk home' syndrome.
The prosecutor offered the ballet dancer two choices after she did not pay her mountain of parking tickets. A) Say guilty, pay them off, and get probation for 6 months or B) Say Not Guilty and go to trial and perhaps serve 6 months in jail.
Why did i murder the woman who served me a glass of wine?
Because i wanted tequila.
Leia: “Years ago you served my father in the Clone Wars...”
Dad: “Was her father a turkey?”
The bartender says, "we don't serve time travelers here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
My wife offered to make me a quesadilla for dinner
I told her no. Whatever dilla is, I don’t think I could eat a whole case.
A Bavarian guy walks into a restaurant that only serves seed-based foods...
...and you know what, the germinate!
"I'm sorry," said the barman, "we don't serve time travellers."
A time traveller walks into a bar.
I served a female deer with herbs to my family at a recent dinner party.
Calling it "Spit-Roasted Dill Doe" was maybe a little unwise
What did the lactose intolerant queen say when the cook served her mac n cheese?
When I moved to the city, I went to a bar where they only served individually wrapped cheese slices...
It was a cool singles bar.
I told my kids I served in the Baby Wars.
Why did the Sushi chef refuse to serve the musician?
I ate a watch the other day
It was time consuming. I ended up going back for seconds.
I was served by a former police officer at my local Applebee’s, I asked for a cup of water and he gave me a cup of ice instead and said
“Just-ice has been served”
Minding my own business, when someone I thought was my friend threw a serving plate full of bumblebees at me.
After I joined the army, I served in a furious war of Iraq , when we came home, I was sent to jail, I don't understand why......
My lieutenant said , fire in the hole and I fired In his hole .
Justice is a dish best served cold ....
If it were served warm, it would be just water .
Just ice is best served cold
Justice is a dish best served cold
If it were served warm it would be justwater.
Justice is best served cold,
because when you serve it warm, it's justwater
Justice is a dish best served cold
Because otherwise it would be justwater
Justice is a dish best served cold
Because if it were served warm it would be justwater
If justice was served hot, it would be justwater.
Rope walks into the bar. Bartender says, Sorry we don’t serve ropes here. Rope walks out, messes himself up, ties himself in a knot, and walks back into the bar. Bartender asked if he’s a rope!
Rope replies I’m a frayed knot.
A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry, we dont serve food here".
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