I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
I guess the concept didn't work
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
“...and can you believe it, Jim?”
“Well, Nancy, I don’t think I would if I wasn’t seeing it!”
The newspeople’s hearty chuckling drew my attention away from the dishes back to the program, which had been blabbering in the background for the past hour.
“Still,” newsman Jim continued, “you have to admit that the reward— that is, the alleged reward— is rather substantial.”
“It sure is!” Nancy agreed. “You know, I might just go outside and get on my hands and knees and start looking myself!”
They laughed again, that same, sterile, safe-for-all-audiences throat laugh that never extended to their made-up eyes.
“So that’s the story on what people are calling ‘Louisville’s Rock Fever’, and for once it’s not about a band,” Nancy continued in that end-of-broadcast tone. “And who knows? If you find yourself in possession of a translucent green rock with a distinctive anchor symbol, you might just be America’s next billionaire. Up next, latest coverage on the Wildcats' preseason hopes for the…”
My mind tuned out again as I scrubbed idly at a stubborn bit of burnt-on sugar in a pot. The news story was as “nothing” as news stories get. At best, it was worthless and likely inaccurate coverage on some boondoggle that three teens started as a prank. Still, something about it triggered a memory in my mind. Despite the report’s most vague descriptions of an admittedly cool but not particularly exciting rock, I could almost see it in my head. It was smooth, ovoid, and its surface was shockingly unmarred by any creases or scratches or any marks to speak of save the distinguishing anchor seemingly embedded in the surface in a darker green color.
Had I seen it before?
“Hey, ma!” I called to the living room. No answer came, and I died a bit more inside.
“Ma!” I repeated, louder this time.
“Yes, Franklin?” a tired voice finally replied.
I set down the pot and walked into the living room. My mother seemed a part of the recliner. Her saggy, wrinkled skin almost melted into the worn leather. She had been there all morning, and would likely not move again until the night.
“Ma,” I said, more gently. “Do you remember those rocks I used to collect?”
“Rocks?” Ma seemed confused by the concept as if she had never heard of a rock before. “You used to play in the band, Franklin. You played the trombone.”
“No, ma, I played the trumpet,” I said.
She nodded slightly. “Of course, Franklin. You played the trumpet.”
“Ma, I’m talking about rocks. Stones. Not music.”
“Oh.” Ma smac
... keep reading on reddit ➡They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
He lost May
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
And boy are my arms legs.
Put it on my bill
Setting by u/Bluefishcake, posting with permission.
Previous Chapters: https://www.reddit.com/r/Sexyspacebabes/wiki/index/in_for_a_penny
______________
"Come on Pel. You can't just keep pretending Kendrick doesn't exist because he said he doesn't want to date you right now." Ciltari chided her.
If this was her sister’s way of trying to motivate her, it wasn't working.
"I'm not ignoring him, I just don't want to talk about it." Pelrinn grumbled back as she slipped into her body suit to prepare for duty.
"What do you call refusing to answer his messages then? Cause he asked me if he should stop."
"What?" Pelrinn stiffened at that.
"Yeah, let's see." She started as she pulled up her omnipad. "He said, quote 'If Pelrinn doesn't want to hear from me anymore, I'll stop. Tell her sorry if I lead her on, I didn’t mean to.' Poor guy thinks it's his fault."
"Well, maybe it is! We've known him for months now, and he chooses her over us, then shuts us down!" The frustration in her voice was obvious.
"Pel, get your head out of your cunt for a second and listen to yourself.” Ciltari said in a harsh, serious tone, her usually joking demeanor completely absent. “You sound just like all those women running around pestering Humans for sex. Women that he told us most Humans loathe. We're friends with him now because we don't act like that. Unless it's been about getting in his pants the whole time…"
Pelrinn bristled at the accusation.
"That's not it!" She yelled. "We deploy to the only planet in the Empire, maybe the universe, with enough men to go around. We actually befriend a male, one I feel like I'm connecting with, growing attached to after months of knowing him...and he just decides one day to tell us he only wants to be with one person—a stranger no less."
The scowl on her sister’s face softened a bit. “Let me ask you this. Would you still be like this if he was with me, Valran or Grikel? If it wasn’t a ‘stranger’, even though she’s probably spent way more time with him than we have at this point? She’s like a stranger to us, not to him.”
Pelrinn deflated a little, knowing Ciltari already knew the answer.
“Probably not…” She said with a pout.
Ciltari didn’t act smug like she expected. “Why?”
“...Because then maybe I could get some answers. I could just ask you what's going on or why he did that. I don’t
... keep reading on reddit ➡Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
Calcium, nickel, neon
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
[removed]
Nothing, he was gladiator.
The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors”
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
