The funniest thing my dad has said

My dad and I were watching tv one night and the screen suddenly goes black. After watching the blank screen for a good 10 seconds, he finally breaks the silence by saying "If anyone were to peer in at us right now, they'd think we're insane."

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📅︎ Oct 27 2013
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Pulled a dad joke will working on the coffee maker.

Recently we got a Keurig in the house, after 20 minutes and one frozen touch screen later I uttered the phrase this thing must run on Java.

It took me a second after hearing the groans.

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📅︎ Sep 28 2014
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New TV

I bought a second hand, 50" flat screen TV today for £20. Only problem is the a faulty volume control, but for that price you can't turn it down.

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📅︎ Aug 06 2015
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Watching the FIFA World Cup with my dad

Watching a Football/Soccer game with England playing.

The camera pans to a close up of a girl wearing sunglasses with the England flag for lenses.

(England flag: http://imgur.com/mcK3A0v)

Dad: "She's a bit cross eyed. Such a shame."

I stare at him briefly for 2 seconds, then back at the screen.

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👤︎ u/Jypo
📅︎ Jan 23 2015
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Two dad jokes in two days.

Yesterday I was watching T.V. with my family when a commercial for the new Honda Fit came on. If you've never seen it, the basic gist is, people ask the main man "Will (blank) fit in?" Two minotaurs come on screen and ask and here's what happened:

Mom: I really doubt a Minotaur would fit.

Dad: Maybe they're Mini-taurs.

Groans were had by all.

For the second one I was texting a friend and she said:

Her: I think I have a problem. I've ate ham almost nonstop since that party. Now I'm really sad it's almost gone. I might be addicted.

Me: I guess you'll have to quit cold ham.

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📅︎ Sep 15 2014
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