My SIL put out snacks and my brother said "Sweet Dreams are Made of cheese"

I said, "Who am I to dis a Brie?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2016
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A real conversation between my brother and his wife + me

Brother: Babe, we need to eat all the pears, they’re going to go bad soon.

SIL: but I don’t like pears, you can eat the rest of them...

Brother: I don’t think I can eat the rest of them by myself though...

Me, from another part of the room: well you better pre-pear yourself!

*ugly laughs from the couch

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/easolo23
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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I’m talking with my sister in law about the fruit salad she made (my best quick response I’ve ever had)

Last family picnic my sister in law made a really good fruit salad. I was talking with her an my spouse’s aunt about it. SIL was saying how she’d gotten a mini pineapple and mini watermelon for the salad.

The aunt asks β€œwhere’s you get all these mini fruit”

Without skipping a beat I reply β€œthe minimart!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coldovia
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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Bruce Leehad great empathy because he had to take care of his dumb sister

She was Sil Lee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abhinit90
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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My wife and sister in law taking about rent.

Wife: You can just pay us $360, since it's half of the mortgage.

SIL: How about we make it $400, I like round numbers.

Me: 360 is a round number.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mustdashgaming
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2016
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Fried Ice Cream

Sister in law was watching my kids and my wife and I went out for dinner. Sent her a picture of my wife's dessert and the following conversation happened.

Me: Mmmmmmmmm Fried Ice Cream

S-I-L: Ugh haven't had that in forever!

Me: It's green tea ice cream. How long has that been?

SIL: Never tried green tea ice cream. But I love fried ice cream. Well, I use to anyway haha. Nothing tastes the same since I had kids.

Me: Yeah, that's why I never ate my kids. Leaves a foul taste in your mouth forever.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YoPhilly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2016
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What do you give a constipated cow?

Meta-MOO-sil

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lightning0128
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2015
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