Trot-skiing
I asked my girlfriend what she thought trees would sound like if they talked while on a hike.
She said "I bet we couldn't understand them"
I said "why do you think that?"
She said "because they probably only bark"
She then laughed the next half mile down the trail barking occasionally and saying "shh, shh, do you hear that? Thats a tree talking in the distance"
One chit walks up to another chit and asks "how's it going?"
The second chit shushes the first, "shh, this is no time for chit chat."
I woke up rather late, so I rushed out of the house, and forgot my watch and phone.
When I got to the cemetery, I saw my cousin standing in the back of the small crowd, as the priest was saying a prayer.
I walked over to him and whispered, "Am I late? What time is it?"
"Shh!" He said. "It's mourning time."
