What is the difference between a weasel and a stoat?
A weasel is weasely wecognized and a stoat is stoatilly different
Turns out I had barely scratched the Surface.
If so, then just wait for 2022. Because 2022 is 2020 too.
Because they can’t make any mooooooooove
The doctor asked, "Why do you have a steering wheel down your pants?"
The man said, "I dunno, but it's driving me nuts!"
Their career was in ruins.
Her future in now in ruins
Because her career was in ruins!
"I Sharted."
🎵Toss a coin to your Witcher, a friend to a manatee🎵
It’s always just a matter of time until craps ruin my day
I suppose you could say my life is in ruins
Should have used the naan-stick pan instead
Well that's a Far Cry...
I don't know how I did that... I didn't even know it was her birthday
The fifth one was dead sirius.
What did the French chef say when he dropped his pan of red sauce on the floor?
Eau neau! My rouge roux is ruined!
They just wouldn’t stop Björking
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
“Well” said Jeff, “As I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
“Yes of course” replied Trevor
... keep reading on reddit ➡Asshole. He should have seen the back of mine.
I finally put a lock on the door to keep him from barging in.
https://imgur.com/gallery/87MbnGu
Then it would be a foot.
Teacher: “If acceleration is constant, we get all these really nice formulas. If acceleration is not constant, the math gets messy.”
Me: “You might say that for ruining the math, it’s being a jerk.”
It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.
I lost the plot.
He only preys on weak knights.
Can’t believe he let the cat out of the bag.
It was pain the ass!
Because 2022 is 2020 too
Because her career was in ruins!
