Royal Central School of Speech and Drama Puns

Note: I’m on mobile, so I’ll try to format it as well as possible.

Backstory: a few months ago, I had a few cavities on my top row teeth on the left side, which required numbing. After the appointment with the dentist, my left side of my face was very numb for the whole school day. I have many friends that love cracking jokes about offensive topics, like comparing my numb left side of my face to Sylvester Stallone or Joe Mantegna. Since he was my friend and I actually thought it was funny, I allowed it. I also have ADHD and Asperger’s syndrome, which makes it hard for me to control my emotions. This will be important later.

Story: so at lunch, my face was still numb, but it wasn’t as bad as before, so I hung out with a few friends, it was me, Logan and Kylie. Logan asked me if I could do an impression of Don Corleone from The Godfather, I happily obliged. This is where EK steps in:

Cast: me-who do you think, K-Kylie, L-Logan, EK-Entitled Kid, EM-Entitled mom, m-my mom, s-Sam my teammate, p-Principal

Me-slurring and mumbling which line?

L-whichever one you want to do.

Me-in best Marlon Brando impression I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.

K-that’s kinda good.

Me-slurring I only need the suit and the cat and it would’ve been perfect.

EK-mocking my slurred speech All I needed was the cat and it would’ve been perfect, NOBODY CARES! Stop doing an impression of Stallone.

Me-taken aback, mumbling you got a problem? You can move if so.

EK-how about you move, you drunk dubliner.

Me-getting angry excuse me?

EK- you heard me. Leave the table before I get ICE to deport you to Ireland.

Two things that piss me off, 1. Anyone who is prejudiced against anyone, especially Irish people. 2. People who think they can say what they want without repercussions.

Me-mumbling you don’t own this table.

EK-I don’t, but nobody wants you here, you drunk.

Me-slurred because of my numbing you really think that everyone here wants me out of this cafeteria.

EK-yeah.

Me-mumbling okay. But I need to get a cookie.

I begin to walk to the lunch line to get a cookie, I buy one and I begin to walk out, but as soon as I pass the EK, I immediately do a quick 180 and clock him in the nose.

Everyone around me-Daaaaamn!

Ek-prepare to make your other side feel numb.

Me-Bring it.

I tackled the EK and I start punching him mercilessly, he got a few punches in as well.

S-stop Irish.

K-Irish, this is stupid.

Me-slurring shut up! Let me give this bastard