Have you heard of Darth Vader's wife, she's always reliable and lifting people up when their down

Good ol' ella Vader

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Abaddononon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
It may sound strange, but my fingers are my most reliable body part...

I can always count on them

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottyharp78
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My statistics professor told us that the larger the sample size, the more reliable are your averages.

The N’s justify the means.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm very reliable

Every morning I shut off the alarm and lie down again.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/le_petit_nihilist
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
If you're reliable at pool maintenance,

You're dependable.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ndoredo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Rocks are very reliable

Never take them for granite

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a reliable girlfriend who is also a massive U2 fan?

A dutiful bae.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/2Fast2Finkel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2016
🚨︎ report
More reliable than it's political counterpart... imgur.com/474TSQf
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/daftneypunk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2013
🚨︎ report
Detective Johnson and detective Smith were investigating a murder that occurred next to a playground. The only witnesses to the murder were four children, a brother age 3 and sister age 4, and a different brother (age 7) and sister (age 8).

The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldn’t bother question 8D’s children about what they saw, since they’re too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9D’s kids will remember.

πŸ‘︎ 386
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
One of his more reliable and successful jokes...

Me: Hey dad can i use the car to go to the store to grab something to drink for tonight?

Him: Beer or Liquor?

Me:ummm.. Liquor

Him: Liquor?! I don't even know her! (uses it for the word "poker" a lot as well)

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JODYHIGHROLLER1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2013
🚨︎ report
I recently got told ketchup doesn't actually use tomatoes

But I can't find a reliable sauce on that.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Isokuovi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Deja Moo

Oh MOOgosh. This might just sound like a load of Bull, but please STEER me out.

Deja Moo (Sung to the tune of Fresh Prince of Bel-air)


Now these are puns all about COWS

Their milk gets flipped, churned all around.

And I’d like to take a minute but I won’t stop and prattle

And tell you this story you haven’t HERD about cattle.


In IstanBULL I was born and BRAISED.

In the pastures back then in my HAYDAYS.

Chewing cud, RUMPING round, and making a fuss.

TANNING out so UDDERLY ridiculous.


When a couple of HEIFERS who had BEEF with me

Started BULLying on my Brand , you see.

I got TIPPED over once and my mom got scared

She said you're MOOvin your behind, your butt, your DAIRY Air.


I whistled for a calf and when it came near

Thought she was a babe, but HE was a STEER!

If anything I can say this STEAK is rare

But that Bovine was BO-FINE so I didn’t care!


I got milked a few times, maybe 7 or 8

More like long-gonehorn, than reliable date.

So I CHUCKED out the udder half of the pasture,

Bevo ain’t a cow, don’t got what I’m after.


Fun fact: a Dairy Cow can produce 125lbs of saliva a day.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KrazyCasey412
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2016
🚨︎ report
I was directing a film the other day, and there was a lot of confusion as to who was handling all the costumes.

Basically set decoration, we had a small crew. A lot of the actors and the rest of the crew were confused who was in charge of those items. Luckily, Jason was a reliable, honest guy. In fact, he was one of the most honest, dependable people I knew on set.

So that evening before we had dinner together, I called Jason to the center, and thanked him for the quality of work that he'd put out so far, and I said "Props to Jason."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jon-Osterman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2017
🚨︎ report
My abacus is so reliable.

I can always count on it.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Of all my body parts, my fingers are the most reliable.

I can always count on them.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/killerinstinct101
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are hands so reliable?

Because you can always count on them

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Samdyhighground23
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Fingers are very reliable

You can always count on them

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/n1had
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
🚨︎ report
When it comes to reliable technology...

...you can always count on an abacus.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2017
🚨︎ report
Fingers

It may sound strange, but my fingers are my most reliable body part...

>!I can always count on them... !<

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Coffeeaficionado_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.