I created the world’s first bulletproof vest using pages from recycled books

I call it Plot Armor β„’

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/serialcompliment
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate my new job in the shoe recycling plant

It’s Sole destroying

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CD-one
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.

But I believe this sub's doing even better!

πŸ‘︎ 125
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Verbal_Ammo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: Honey, did you recycle the old computer, or just throw it in the trash?

My boyfriend: Neither. I put it on the .com-post.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HazelNutt125
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.....

It was sole destroying

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/liverpool135
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm starting a company of recycling chewing gum,

I just need some help to get it off the ground

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Holiday and end of last year pun, recycled
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/perkypaul
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't understand people who don't recycle.

Why would you buy a bike and only ride it once?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda-pressing.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigDogAlex
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens to a recycling bin after you crash into it on your bike?

It becomes a decycling bin.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattA2930
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear Hawaii has banned loud laughter?

Yeah, especially when using the same recycled joke 50 million times.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nyrfankt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
You should know you can help to recycle dead batteries and return them in most supermarkets

It's free of charge

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BenderDeLorean
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
🚨︎ report
When I went to get my prescription, I gave the tech an empty bottle to recycle or whatever. She said, some people like to keep the bottles to put nails and screws in...

I said I don't have too many loose screws.

She smiled.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What is kermit the Frog's excuse for not recycling?

"It's not easy being green"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hoochthemoon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission

When you bring in one can, you can save Toucans

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I found this quite shocking.
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lococlyde
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What birds should you recycle?

Toucans

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealDog65
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I had to stop crushing aluminum cans for recycling.

It was soda pressing.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Newbosterone
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
The mafia is forcing me to recycle

They made me an offer I can refuse

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/naclbetter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do the same jokes always get recycled on r/dadjokes?

Because we’ve already reduced and reused them.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/persian2002
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the best part about living in Switzerland?

Well, the flag's a big plus

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aplusbiscmaybe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Is the majority of this sub finally done recycling material?

There have only been a few "Is this sub still active? There haven't been any new posts all year" posts all year.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fzh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
At the end of a call at my job, I ask if there’s anything else I can help with.

Guy (being bugged by his kids in the background) replies, β€œYeah, can I put 9 and 12 year olds in your recycle containers?” I replied, without skipping a beat, β€œOh, no. I’m so sorry, We JUST stopped accepting those ages. We are currently taking 8 and 10 year olds.”

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/veelagirl
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop..

It was sole destroying

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The man at the recycling center seemed so sad

So I asked "Why so down in the dumps?"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to work at a shoe recycling shop but I had to quit.

It was destroying my sole.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I quit my job at the recycling facility because they were making me crush cans all day long.

It was soda pressing.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop

It was sole destroying

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Amphibatron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop.

It was sole destroying!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I once had a job in a shoe recycling factory...

... it was sole destroying.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
My first job was at a shoe recycling centre.

It was sole destroying.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Angry_Daniel
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Geddy456
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole crushing.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anamika76
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
🚨︎ report
I quit my recycling job today

I just couldn't keep doing it. It was soda pressing.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thrasher204
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Doodle_98
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/420_esketit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I Once Worked At A Shoe Recycling Shop...

It Was Sole Destroying.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JamesonSpry
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop

It was sole destroying.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainOverKill06
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop

It was sole destroying

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeltaLucas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop

It was sole destroying

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shroomz441
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the worker quit their job at the can recycling depot?

It was soda pressing

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Prairiebrewer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
🚨︎ report

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