69%
Race-ism
My wife says it's nonsense.
I finally battled my Damons.
I keep getting ab-duct-taped by aliens.
A Perpetual Notion
... where this dentist visits me and reminds me that the proper toothbrush strokes involve "spinning right round, right round then you go down"
Fluo Rida
I only got to see my grandpa on my mom's side about once a year usually growing up, but there was always one common factor of each visit.
At some point during the catching up conversations, Pa (what we called him) would get a real dejected look on his face. Then he'd face my mom:
"Oh Vicky... guess who died?"-Pa
"Oh no... Who?"-Mom
"Elvis." -Pa
He'd then giggle, finger fun, and slap his thigh. Every. Single. Year.
I have a feeling he used that one for the better part of 40 years.
On the news a few weeks ago there was a car that had been crashed into by two busses simultaneously.
Dad: I guess you could say that car was
Dad: ....
Dad: Bussed
The camp goers are pretty intense.
...the one thing I actually look forward to when we go to Hobby Lobby is the moment we're walking through the store, I try to keep a perfectly straight face and act like I have a genuine interest in something on the shelf, I reach up and I say something like, "Oh, look at this nice little Stool sample!"
(Not really a joke, but a true dad joke recurring scenario of mine)
I need Help!
It was a real recurring night mare.
“Doctor, I keep having these alternating, recurring dreams. First I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam; then I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me?”
The doctor replied, “It’s very simple. You’re two tents.”
She said, “Finally! You are battling your Damons.”
