Puppies Puppies Puns

When they could be called subwoofers

or else I'ma start singing "WHO LENT THE DOG ZOUT"

(Alright I think these are out of my system... no promises)

Because then it would be a little bare.

He was a little husky.

I told him there called son’s of bitches

Before you let your kids get a puppy, take the Puppy Test.

Best taken in the autumn or mid winter.

1. Buy a lead and tie it to a big stone, walk around dragging the stone behind you.
2. Get up at 5am, go out in the pouring rain and walk up and down a muddy path, repeating good girl/boy, wee wees...poo poos, quickly please
3. Stuff your pockets with plastic bags and pick up all the poo you can find, obviously not your dogs as you have not bought it yet ??
4. Start wearing your shoes indoors, especially during muddy times
5. Collect leaves off the ground and spread them on the floor
6. Carry sticks and branches indoors and chop them up on your carpet
7. Pour cold apple juice on the rug and floor....walk barefooted over it in the dark
8. Drop some chocolate pudding on your carpet in the morning and then try to clean it in the evening
9. Wear socks to which you have made holes using a blender
10. Jump out of your favorite chair just before the movie ends and run to open the back door
11. Cover all your best clothes with dog hair, dark clothes with blond hairs and light clothes with dark hairs
12. Tip all just ironed clothes on the floor
13. Make little pin holes in all your furniture, especially chair and table legs
14. When doing dishes, splash water all over the place and don't wipe it.
15. Spread toilet paper all over the house when you leave the house and tidy up when you get back home
16. Forget any impulse holidays and/or breaks
17. Always go straight home after work or school
18. Go for walks no matter what the weather, and inspect every dirty paper, chewing gum and dead fly you might find
19. Stand at your back door at five in the morning shouting, "Bring Mr Bumble and Mr Lion in, its raining.”
20. Wake up at 3am. Place a correct size bag of flour on top of yourself and try to sleep, whilst wiping your face with a dishcloth, which you have left next to your bed in a bowl last week.
    Repeat everyday over 6 months and if you still think getting a puppy sounds like a good idea, Congratulations, you might be ready for your kids to get your puppy.

Police are warning people to look out for anyone selling hot dogs.

Because it's the best thing for a hot dog

Right away when we got home he made a bolt for the door.

[removed]

I told him that I would be happy to consider LASIK, but wondered how it would help us potty train him?

So I named him gnaw-it-all

You should always buy two puppies and name them 'one' and 'two'

Incase one runs away, you still have two.

...all they had to say was "get Elon little doggie".

It’s become apparent.

no, that’s a top dog

A new yorky

He’s a shar pei.

Terrible timing. He always told his jokes without any paws.

In a ruff pile

I want her to get her dog-ree

He’s a little melon collie...

I think we have to take him to the dogtor

Throw a dog a bone

They are going cheap

...is a failure to spay or neuter your pet considered littering?

She was ticketed for littering.

Because I take him for a drag rather than a walk

A Subwoofer

is a bitch

Puppernickel! :)

So I’m reffing a local puppy bowl (where a bunch of puppies up for adoption play “football” with each other). As the ref I need to say funny football puppy puns whole time such as “ruffing the passer”. Any ideas on good football puppy puns? Thanks.

Because nature abhors a vacuum

He calls them his watch dogs

Send him to a dogtor.

"What does that mean?" they asked.

"It just looks like you've had a ruff day."

In case you lose one, you still have two.

The dog was given a fine for littering